tumblr friendships are hard to maintain like im sorry i know i havent talked to you in 5 months but you’re still super rad and i still consider us friends im just dumb
natasha romanoff is the kind of person who could kill you with her bare hands if she had to but she is also probably the kind of person who would purposely take the squeaky chair and wobble on it and drive everyone crazy
there has been a pretty far-reaching trend on this website to blog about the effects of mental illness and trauma on emotional regulation and an aggressive campaign to get people to not only understand but accept boundary-crossing behavior from people because it is a reflection of their mental illness/trauma, as far as to imply that you are ableist if you are not able to tactfully handle and accept someone else’s dysfunctional coping mechanisms and behavior despite your own discomfort. i see this most often with posts about bpd but there are other topics as well. i haven’t commented on any of it because it’s not a pie i wanted a finger in, but it has over time led me to develop severe discomfort around people who follow that line of thought to the point that i have disengaged, unfollowed, and unfriended many people who agree with it.
the stuff i’m seeing passed around now about “supporting perpretrators” in addition to survivors is the horrifying track down which that train of thought has sped, because what people don’t seem to understand is that mental illness and trauma do no make you an exception to the boundaries of those around you. it is necessary to be aware of the ways that survivors and mentally ill people may lash out emotionally at those they are close to but it is not actually necessary to be “accepting” to the point that it is harmful to you. your emotional boundaries are important, more important than whatever obligation you feel to “accommodate” someone’s trauma.
it is not “okay” that survivors sometimes display manipulative/abusive behaviors towards the people around them and it is important to handle these situations with tact, sure, but not to the detriment of setting your own boundaries and checking the behaviors in question. when friends i know are mentally ill/ trauma survivors have lashed out at me with emotionally manipulation tactics in times of great distress, i have supported them afterward, but i have always followed this up with a discussion about how these kinds of behaviors can not and will not continue or our relationship will end. this is not “ableist” or refusing to support survivors’ trauma, it is setting strong boundaries within the context of supporting each other and providing the community in which we all can heal. what is important here is that these are isolated incidents – learned defense mechanisms arising in times of panic and stress – and not consistent grabs for power. these are not people following the deliberate, overarching pattern of actions abusers use to isolate and control victims, and their actions are easily distinguishable from such.
my point is that this discourse has allowed people to blur the line between these behaviors and abuse when it comes to community support. we should support abusers in our communities as well, they say, because otherwise we would be isolating vulnerable marginalized people who are just struggling with their own trauma. this is exactly what abusers want. this is not a radical attitude. abusers depicting themselves as helpless victims of emotions and circumstances out of their control has pretty much always been the abuser party line. there is nothing productive or useful or valid about carving out community resources for “accountability” in ways that perpetuate bad abuse politics and logics that have been used to silence survivors for years and years. you cannot support survivors and also support their abusers by continuing to welcome them in the same community spaces, period, and it takes some ridiculous mental gymnastics to pretend otherwise.
Celebrimbor had associated with the dwarves for a long time, and clearly admired their skill. But, he is an elf, and therefore, must be difficult at all possible times. So. To his friends, he started calling Khazad-dum Moria instead. It was a joke. It was him being ridiculous about this gorgeous glowing kingdom of dwarves.
He had no idea when to pull back the joke, so damn right he put it on the gate. The dwarves knew about it. They knew that it was how this elf showed his admiration. And just a little bit at first, it was a memory of Celebrimbor who had died in agony and torment in Sauron’s clutches, protecting the world.
Basically, I’m saying that for a while after Celebrimbor died, dwarves called it Moria in the same way you see pics of a guy in a crazy outfit at a friend’s funeral. They’re honoring an old joke, and so, honoring him.
After the balrog, after Dwarrowdelf fell? If you think the superstitious dwarves didn’t read that inscription and take it as long ignored prophecy, I will call you a liar.
Congratulations, B.o.B., a dude more than 2,000 years ago figured out what you still can’t understand despite the benefits of free public school, generations of documentation and the internet at your fucking fingertips.
Okay, if they wanna make a biopic about Michael Jackson starring a British white dude, you know what, that’s fine. But then I goddamn demand a biopic about Elvis starring John Boyega. And a revolutionary war movie where George Washington is played by Ming-Na Wen with no explanation. And a Beatles movie starring Penelope Cruz and Lupita Nyongo and Oscar Isaac and Stephen Yeun as the Fab Four. And a movie about WWII with Javier Bardem playing Roosevelt and Jackie Chan as Winston Churchill.
