I swear to god Claire is just one day going to turn into Samuel L Jackson from Snakes on a Plane
I AM MOTHER FUCKING TIRED OF THESE MOTHER FUCKING SUPERHEROES IN MY MOTHER FUCKING EMERGENCY ROOM
You know it’d be more funny if Claire turned out to be Nick Fury’s niece.
Claire: Taps her foot as the call rings almost endlessly in her ear, when it does finally connect and she hears breathing on the other end she’s speaking before the person on the other end can even get a word in. “This is all your damn fault Uncle Nick! Before the Battle of New York and your damn Avengers I had a nice normal life with a normal job, now suddenly I’m patching up superheroes left, right and centre. I’d also appreciate it if you could send someone by to pick up your fledgling Hawk? I fished him wounded out of the dumpster outside my apartment building.”
WHAT. DID. YOU. JUST. DO.
God DAMN it and you accuse ME of evil plot bunnies!
I wish people would stop saying “It’s July. Well done for wasting half a year.” Did you make someone smile in the past six months? Did you stroke a cat or throw a stick for a dog? Did you learn a new fact or teach someone a new joke? Did you laugh, cry, scream or sing in the past six months? Because if so, congratulations for not wasting your time at all.
I really needed this
I’m bringing this back for December to remind everyone.
You did not waste your year.
If you made it this far, that’s already not wasting your year.
You made it through the year, you laughed, you cried, you smiled, you saw the sun and felt the rain, and most importantly, you’re still here.
trelawney worked at hogwarts for like 17 years so she must at some point have had at least one sick day
so someone must have had to teach her classes and I really hope it was mcgonagall because can you imagine
‘this class is like 90% bullshit so I strongly recommend you just enjoy your tea because the tea leaves aren’t going to tell you anything. you can sit staring into glass balls and deciphering the meaning of your reflections if you want, but doing your transfiguration homework would be a better use of everyone’s time. I’m leaving now, if professor trelawney asks what you were taught, tell her I showed you an obscure form of palm reading and you can demonstrate by pointing at your hands and looking thoughtful - she’ll never know the difference’
At my last company, one day someone in accounting approached me at lunch and quietly told me I need to ask for a raise because I was way underpaid.
They gave me a number to shoot for. It was about twice than what I had been making at the time.
So I went online, did some research, found some figures backing up my claim, put it all together and went to my boss.
I got what I asked for.
If it hadn’t been for that person in accounting telling me I was way underpaid, I’d have never known. I went from barely scraping by to being able to have a savings account and getting all my debts paid thanks to them.
You should at least check sites like salary.com to start the process of seeing what you should be making.
Okay i thought I misheard at first but no, I def did not. For any leverage fans who realized one of Mikel Dayan’s lines wasn’t subtitled in the first ep of leverage she shows up in…. She’s saying that their leaders plan led them right to Eliot spencer, and it isn’t translated because she ends her sentence with ‘kus ha'ima shelcha’, literally ‘the c*nt of your mother’ but basically used like ‘son of a b*tch’.
“I’m grounded in who I am, and I am a confident black man. A confident, Nigerian, black, chocolate man,” he said. “I’m proud of my heritage, and no man can take that away from me. I wasn’t raised to fear people with a difference of opinion. They are merely victims of a disease in their mind. To get into a serious dialogue with people who judge a person based on the melanin in their skin? They’re stupid, and I’m not going to lose sleep over people.”
“I just don’t get it. You guys got every single alien in this movie imaginable to man. With tentacles, five eyes. Aliens that, if they existed, we’d definitely have an issue,” he said. “We’d have to get them to the government and be, like, ‘What are you?’ Yet what you want to do is fixate on another human being’s color. You need to go back to school and unlearn what you have learned.”
Chug your ale each time Dickens introduces a new character.
Do a shot each time you look over your shoulder during 1984. Two shots if you get up to close the curtains.
Slam a Red Bull every time you turn the page in Wuthering Heights. Just to stay awake, really.
Take a sip of wine for every Biblical sin you’ve committed. Start at Genesis.
Drinking with friends
Take turns trying to recite the infamous 11,282-word sentence from Ulysses in one breath. Whoever stops first has to drink the most.
Smuggle booze into a library. Or go to your bookshelves. Pull out books at random, playing “Never have I ever” with books: “Never have I ever read Throne of Glass,” etc. All who have read the book in question must take a drink.
Take turns reading passages from The Bell Jar aloud. Whoever cries hardest must be cut off from alcohol immediately. This is followed by a group hug and gentle rocking.
Group-read a Shakespeare play and take a shot whenever there’s a joke about venereal disease, gender roles, or sexual relations.
