Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

recoverykitty:

On the phone with my friend in korea and he’s explaining to me in english that he must stop smoking because he doesn’t want to become impotent. 

Walking down Gangnam street he says (in english) “I must stop smoking for my dick. My dick is important. If my dick does the broken I cannot sex.”

and I hear in absolute plain english behind him “WHAT” 

(via yea-lets-do-this-shit)

fabulousanima:

raining-down-hearts:

amberlehcar:

So I’m doing a Fanfiction 101 panel at a local mini convention and I’m trying to get a bunch of advice that all novice fanfic writers could use. Care to share some important tips?

Honestly, my #1 tip: LEARN HOW TO WRITE LIKE A GROWN UP. Learn punctuation, and use it in the right spots. Capitalize, use commas and quotation marks in the right spot, use paragraph breaks. I don’t care how amazing and original and incredible your story is, I won’t read it if it’s full of distracting ugly errors. I just can’t handle it. Typos happen, of course, but it takes two seconds to google ‘how to punctuate a sentence’, like seriously. Or just, you know, pick up a book and look at it and see where the punctuation is…. Getting a beta reader is super helpful for this, also, especially if they’re a better writer than you are. You’ll learn a lot.

Grammar and punctuation are crucial and a great start.  I think I might also suggest:

 - Write something you want to see.  If you’re just writing to be “popular” you’ll quickly burn out.  Write something you’re passionate about, and people will find it.  I’m not saying notes and reviews aren’t important, because they are, but don’t write something you’re not interested in just to gain them.  Be enthusiastic about what you’re doing and engender enthusiasm in others.

 - Which goes hand in hand with being as good a reader as you are a writer.  Engage with other people’s stories.  Learn from them, beta them, and review them.  DEFINITELY review them.  Fanfiction is a great community, and it is always so encouraging to receive a review (as you’ll see!) and leaving them in return is absolutely essential for being a positive part of that community.

 - Keep track of what you write and where you publish it.  You can write on as many platforms as possible, but it’s a great idea to keep track of it all, perhaps especially chronologically.  That way you can look back on previous works and see how much you’ve progressed.

 - Tag smartly.  Tag accurately.  You want people who would be actually interested in your story to find your story, so use the tags that will guide them there.  The more accurate your tags, the more likely the readers you want will discover you.

I would add: learn homophones and apply spell check.  It sounds like a tiny nit-picky thing, but I can’t express how helpful it is in both feeling confident in your own writing and reading someone else’s.  It’s humiliating to have someone point to that one misspelling in your writing (and there will always be that one asshole), and it’s hard to get through a fic full of spelling errors/syntax errors.  For example: there, they’re, their; ore, oar, or; and (for those of you writing smut) wanton and wonton is a vital difference, because I’m assuming you are not writing about East Asian dumplings.

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

sheep-boy:

“guess we cant have different opinions on tumblr”

nah son. an opinion is like “orange juice is nasty” or “fall out boy is overrated”

“your gender identity is ridiculous and you dont deserve to have it respected” is straight up bullshit and you should be called out on it

This is a VERY IMPORTANT DISTINCTION.

(Source: sollgaleo, via goblinbutch)

vohalika:

kuroba101:

prongsmydeer:

rhythm-of-an-author:

snatchmescabior:

pottergenes:

prongsmydeer:

Dead characters who would’ve left a better legacy for the younger Albus to live up to than the person he actually got his middle name from

• Cedric Diggory
  
• Alastor Moody
• Dobby
• Hedwig
• Regulus Black 
• Colin Creevey
• Florean Fortescue
• Rufus Scrimegour
• Lavender Brown’s rabbit Binky
• Hagrid’s flobberworms 

• the lacewing flies they used to brew polyjuice in second year
  

Albus Lacewing Fly Potter

now fucking watch THIS and see how you think about Snape now

I read the books, so I don’t really need a recap, but just for fun let’s do a little adaption comparison.

Things that are conveniently left out of that scene compilation:

• That time when Snape was hiding out of sight in the bushes to spy on Lily and Petunia instead of happening to be nearby
  
• That time when Snape dropped a tree branch on Lily’s sister
• That time when Snape defended the use of Dark Magic as a laugh and redirected the conversation to someone else’s actions
• That time Snape responded to humiliating and awful but non-violent hexes by giving his opponent a bloody gash to the face
  
• That time when Snape called Lily a Mudblood
  
• That time when Snape threatened to sleep outside Lily’s place of dwelling in the castle in spite of knowing she did not want to speak with him
• That time when Lily pointed out that Snape called people Mudblood all the time
• That time when Snape was the one who conveyed the prophecy to Voldemort that put Lily in danger in the first place
  
• That time when Snape’s only moral objection to endangering a baby came from his attachment to the mother
• That time when Snape didn’t say ‘hide them all’ initially but told Voldemort to kill the father and infant son but spare the mother -and only asked to hide them all after Dumbledore told him he was disgusting
• That time when it was Sirius who discovered the Potters and rescued Harry from the ruin of Godric’s Hollow
• That time when Snape singled Harry out in a room full of people on the first day of class for not having extensive knowledge not required of them at that point - even deducting points for Harry not monitoring someone else’s potion
• Those times when Snape lashed out at Harry for a grudge against his father who had died ten (to sixteen, in HBP) years prior - who Harry couldn’t even remember  
• All those times when Snape responded to seeing Neville Longbottom struggle in his class by calling him names like ‘idiot boy’, demeaning him, and deducting points when Hermione helped him 
• That time Snape screamed at a 13-year-old Hermione and called her ‘STUPID GIRL’
• That time when Snape was unconscious for Lupin’s transformation and it was Sirius actively forcing the children away from Lupin
• That time when Snape lied to the Minister about Sirius confunding the trio - or else lied about being able to recognize it
• That time when Snape burst into hysterics after Sirius (rightfully) escaped death
• That time when Snape outed Remus as a werewolf (having been attempting to do so for quite some time) and caused him to resign from the only employment that would accept him 
• That time when Snape made a teenage girl feel even more insecure about her appearance in the face of her being attacked
• That time when Snape frequently goaded Sirius for being unable to be useful to the Order in spite of actively contributing to besmirching Sirius’s name so he could not be cleared
• That time when Snape didn’t just tell Harry to get out when he was embarrassed, he also told him to never visit his office again in spite of Harry needing Occlumency lessons for his own safety
• That time when Snape gave Harry detention every Saturday for the rest of term because he wouldn’t show him his potions book
• That time when Snape broke into Harry’s dead godfather’s house to rip apart a picture from Harry’s first and only birthday with his parents

Albus Hagrid’s Flobberworms Potter: Still a better name than the one he had. 

That time when 13 year old Neville feared Snape, a fucking teacher, who should have fucking nurtured him like good teachers do, when 13 year old Neville feared Snape more than the fucking woman who literally tortured his parents into insanity.

And he grew up in the magical community, remember, so he’d fucking know what Lestrange looked like, what her name was, before he could wipe his own arse.

Also, remember the time when Snape to time in class to read out a slut-shaming article in a gossip magazine to embarrass two of his students? Yeeaaah…

(via johanirae)

prokopetz:

ibelieveinthelittletreetopper:

veteratorianvillainy:

prokopetz:

It just kills me when writers create franchises where like 95% of the speaking roles are male, then get morally offended that all of the popular ships are gay. It’s like, what did they expect?

#friendly reminder that I once put my statistics degree to good use and did some calculations about ship ratios#and yes considering the gender ratios of characters#the prevalence of gay ships is completely predictable (via sarahtonin42)

I feel this is something that does often get overlooked in slash shipping, especially in articles that try to ‘explain’ the phenomena. No matter the show, movie or book, people are going to ship. When everyone is a dude and the well written relationships are all dudes, of course we’re gonna go for romance among the dudes because we have no other options.

Totally.

A lot of analyses propose that the overwhelming predominance of male/male ships over female/female and female/male ships in fandom reflects an unhealthy fetishisation of male homosexuality and a deep-seated self-hatred on the part of women in fandom. While it’s true that many fandoms certainly have issues gender-wise, that sort of analysis willfully overlooks a rather more obvious culprit.

Suppose, for the sake of argument, that we have a hypothetical media franchise with twelve recurring speaking roles, nine of which are male and three of which are female.

(Note that this is actually a bit better than average representaton-wise - female representation in popular media franchises is typicaly well below the 25% contemplated here.)

Assuming that any character can be shipped with any other without regard for age, gender, social position or prior relationship - and for simplicity excluding cloning, time travel and other “selfcest”-enabling scenarios - this yields the following (non-polyamorous) possibilities:

Possible F/F ships: 3
Possible F/M ships: 27
Possible M/M ships: 36

TOTAL POSSIBLE SHIPS: 66

Thus, assuming - again, for the sake of simplicity - that every possible ship is about equally likely to appeal to any given fan, we’d reasonably expect about (36/66) = 55% of all shipping-related media to feature M/M pairings. No particular prejudice in favour of male characters and/or against female characters is necessary for us to get there.

The point is this: before we can conclude that representation in shipping is being skewed by fan prejudice, we have to ask how skewed it would be even in the absence of any particular prejudice on the part of the fans. Or, to put it another way, we have to ask ourselves: are we criticising women in fandom - and let’s be honest here, this type of criticism is almost exclusively directed at women - for creating a representation problem, or are we merely criticising them for failing to correct an existing one?

THANK YOU.  Could that person with the statistics degree put those calculations on the internet maybe please and thanks?

(via gryffindorconsultingtimelord)

ourloveislegendrarry:

moonys-knights:

SCREAMING BECAUSE I JUST FOUND OUT THAT PETUNIA PLANNED LILY AND JAMES’S FUNERAL. OH MY GOD.

-IMAGINE REMUS FINDING HER ADDRESS AND POPPING OVER ONE DAY BC HE REFUSES TO HAVE HER MESS UP THE ARRANGEMENTS AND DISHONOUR HIS FRIENDS.

-PETUNIA OPENING THE DOOR, FLUSTERED BC SHE HAS TWO SCREAMING BABIES AND HAS NEVER BEEN MORE STESSED EVER AND HAS DUDLEY IN ONE ARM AND HARRY ON HER LEG AND THERES A STRANGE YOUNG MAN WITH GRAYING HAIR AND A LOT OF UGLY SCARS ON HER PORCH

-HARRY RECOGNIZING REMUS AT ONCE AND LETTING GO OF PETUNIA YELLING “UNC-OO MOO'Y! UNC-OO MOO'Y!” AND REMUS AUTOMATICALLY REACHING DOWN TO LET THE TODDLER LATCH ONTO HIS NECK LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES. HARRY QUIETS DOWN QUICKLY AND JUST CURLS UP BC IT’S SOMEONE HE KNOWS AND UNCLE MOONY!

-PETUNIA BEING FLABERGASTED AND FINALLY ASKING, “HOW DID YOU DO THAT? I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO GET HIM TO STOP FUSSING SINCE HE GOT HERE.”

-REMUS EXPLAINING THAT HARRY HAS DONE THAT SINCE DAY ONE AND ASKS POLITELY TO COME IN BC HE HAS SOMETHING TO DISCUSS WITH HER

-PETUNIA ALLOWING REMUS IN AND STATING SHE’S GOING TO PUT DUDLEY DOWN FOR A NAP AND TO PLEASE MAKE HIMSELF COMFORTABLE IN THE SITTING ROOM

-REMUS SITTING AWKWARDLY ON AN ARMCHAIR AND HARRY LOOKS UP AND ASKS “UNC-OO MOO'Y, WHERE MUMA? WHERE DADA? WHERE PA'FU?”

-REMUS NOT KNOWING HOW TO SAY THEYRE DEAD BC SIRIUS SO HE SAYS “HARRY, I NEED YOU TO BE A BIG BOY. MUMA AND DADA… THEY LOVED YOU LOTS AND LOTS BUT THEY HAD TO GO BYEBYE.”

-“WHEN MUMA AND DADA BACK?”

-“HARRY, I’M SORRY BUT THEY HAD TO GO TO HEAVEN.” AND REMUS IS CRYING BECAUSE IT’S SUDDENLY REAL AND HIS FRIENDS ARE ACTUALLY FUCKING DEAD AND IT HURTS AND IT HURTS SO MUCH HE WISH HE COULD RIP HIS HEART OUT AND NEVER FEEL AGAIN

-AND HARRY IS CONFUSED SO HE GRABS REMUS’S NOSE IN ATTEMPT TO COMFORT REMUS AND STARTS BABBLING ABOUT MUMA PLAYING PEEKABO AND DADA HIDING UNDER A BIG FLAPPY CLOAK AND A GREEN LIGHT AND UNCLE MOONY ITS JUST GAMES

-PETUNIA COMING BACK DOWNSTAIRS TO SEE REMUS SOBBING AND PETTING HARRY’S HEAD AND TRYING TO EXPLAIN THAT MUMA AND DADA CAN’T COME BACK BUT REMUS IS CRYING SO MUCH HE CAN BARELY SPEAK SO SHE OFFERS A HANKERCHEIF AND ASKS WHAT HE CAME FOR

-AFTER HE CALMS DOWN ENOUGH HE FLAT OUT TELLS PETUNIA THAT HE IS GOING TO HELP WITH THE FUNERAL

-SHE’S ACTUALLY RELIEVED AND SAYS SHE HADN’T THE FAINTEST TO INVITE SEEING AS SHE WASN’T CLOSE WITH LILY (AT THIS REMUS SNORTS) AND COULDN’T JUST ATTEND HERSELF

-SKIP TO THE FUNERAL. IT’S AN OPEN CASKET AND DUE TO MAGIC BOTH LILY AND JAMES ARE IN THE SAME CASKET AND THEIR HANDS ARE INTERRWINED AND IT LOOKS AS THEYRE SLEEPING IN THEIR FINEST CLOTHES (LILY IN HER WEDDING DRESS, AS IT WAS HER FAVORITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING AND NOT LONG OR OVERLY FANCY AND JAMES IN A SUIT BUT INSTEAD OF A SUIT TOP HES WEARING THAT RIDICULOUS SHIRT HIM AND SIRIUS MADE THAT HAD “I HAVE THE WORLD’S HOTTEST WIFE” PRINTED ON IT)

-REMUS IS SITTING TO THE RIGHT OF PETUNIA WITH HARRY IN HIS LAP AND ALICE AND FRANK ARE TO THE RIGHT OF HIM

-THE SERVICE IS GORGEOUS WITH DUMBLEDORE CONDUCTING IT IN THE RIDICULOUS PURPLE ROBES WITH YELLOW STARS THAT JAMES ABSOLUTELY LOVED

-WHEN IT’S TIME TO GO UP AND VIEW THE BODIES, PETUNIA LINGERS A SECOND LONGEUR THAN HER HUSBAND BUT QUICKLY MOVES

-REMUS GOES UP WITH HARRY

-HARRY MANAGED TO ESCAPE REMUS’S ARMS AND LANDS IN THE COFFIN YELLING, “MUMA! DADA! WAKEY!” OVER AND OVER AND HE’S SO CONFUSED AS TO WHY THEY AREN’T ANSWERING. FINALLY HE TURNS TO REMUS, CONFUSED, AND ASKS, “UNC-OO MOO'Y, PEEA'BOO?”

-EVERYONE IS FROZEN, WATCHING THE TINY BABY POKE AND PROD HIS PARENTS. MCGONAGALL IS CRYING AND REMUS IS SOBBING AGAIN AND HE’S TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO HARRY THAT THEY CAN’T

-DUMBLEDORE SWEEPS IN ALL MAGESTICALLY AND HARRY SHRIEKS “DUBLDOR!” AND DUMBLEDORE IS ABLE TO EXPLAIN THAT MUMA AND DADA ARE GONE IN THE NICEST WAY POSSIBLE BUT SO HARRY UNDERSTANDS AND HARRY STARTS CRYING AND SAYING HE WANTS MUMA AND DADA

-REMUS GRABS HARRY AND BEGINS TO SHUSH HIM AND LETS OTHER PEOPLE SAY GOODBYE TO LILY AND JAMES AND SUDDENLY PETUNIA AND VERNON ARE OVER AND HARRY IS BEING RIPPED OUT OF REMUS’S ARMS AND BEING TOLD THAT REMUS IS NEVER ALLOWED TO COME OVER AGAIN AND IF HE DOES THE POLICE WILL BE CALLED AND REMUS IS NOT ALLOWED TO EVER CONTACT HARRY OR THE DURSLEY’S AGAIN

-REMUS JUST STARES NUMBLY AS THE DURSLEYS STOMP FROM THE HALL WITH HARRY CRYING AND SHREIKING, “UNC-OO MOO'Y! UNC-OO MOO'Y! I WAN’ UNC-OO MOO'Y!” AND SUDDENLY REMUS IS CRYING FOR WHAT SEEMS LIKE THE MILLIONTH TIME AND IT FEELS LIKE LILY AND JAMES DIED ALL OVER AGAIN AS HARRY’S CRIES FADE AND HE FALLS TO HIS KNEES AND HE’S SCREAMING IN PAIN BECAUSE IT’S TOO MUCH AND HE DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS AND HE’S DEMANDING TO KNOW WHY THIS HAD TO HAPPEN

-REMUS LUPIN IS 21 AND HIS ENTIRE FAMILY HAS BEEN TAKEN AWAY FROM HIM WITHOUT MERCY

IM CRYING HOLY SHIT.

FUCK YOU ACTUALLY

WHAT THE FUCK.

I’M A GOOD PERSON.

I DON’T DESERVE THIS.

(Source: deerxpuns, via gryffindorconsultingtimelord)