the members of an orchestra

  • violins I: we're the superstars fuck everyone else its all about us
  • violins II: why do we always get the boring parts
  • flutes: we're so lonely
  • piccolo: lol fk your ears
  • french horns: and im not even french hONHONHON BAGUETTE
  • oboes: IM SORRY I TUNED BEFORE I SWEar
  • violas: evERYONE ALWAYS FKUCING FRORGETS ABOUT US
  • trumpets: wats 'p'
  • trombones: wats quiet
  • cellos: im either boring af or exciting af and there is no in between
  • bassoons: im so posh but i really just honk like a truck
  • clarinet: *squeaks*
  • timpani: EVERYONE LOVES ME BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM
  • bass clarinet: lol where am i
  • tuba: *waits for a wagner piece to do something exciting*
  • harp: im just a more sophisticated piano
  • piano: FUCK YOU HARP I GET CONCERTOS WRITTEN FOR ME SCREW EVERYTHING WHO NEEDS AN ORCHESTRA WHEN YOU CAN PLAY EVERYTHING ON ME IM THE STAR OF EVERYTIHNG
  • english horn: im literally only useful for dvorak's 9th like what am even i doing here
  • basses: semibreves, tied to a semibreve, tied to a minim, tied to a crotchet, oh wait a quaver wow exciting ok back to semibreves
  • cornets: trumpet wannabe
  • cymbals: BOOM CRASH CRASH CRASH CRASH IM SRO HAPYP CRASH CRAHS
  • saxophones: i never get a good part until a jazzy piece is performed which is never
  • xylophones: am i meant to be here?
  • triangles:
  • bass drum: MY TIME TO SHINE FUCK YOU ALL