So I just read a thing about girls whose lives were threatened by boys they rejected
Something like this happened to me. Not life-threatening, but it was still one of the most awful experiences of my life. Two boys asked me out every day for half of eighth grade and most of ninth grade–both of them, together, at the same time. They weren’t huge guys, but they were a lot bigger than me and they were athletes and they thought it was funny to call me a tease and tell the whole school I was playing hard to get. The fact that they had girlfriends? Yeah, that didn’t help people’s perspective of me either. I didn’t beat around the bush, I didn’t suggest that I thought it was cute or flattering, I flat-out said no every single day.
There were times when they would walk up and sit on my desk or play with my hair without my permission, and I had a track record of violence (although I never got nailed for anything by the administration), so I would have been blamed if I reacted. Unless I wanted to get suspended, I had to sit there and take it. And I did. For over a year. I got increasingly aggressive with my rejections–one of them tried to grab me and hug me, and I threatened to kick him in the crotch. And they continued, even after that. Until finally, while the teacher for one of my classes was out of the room, one of them tried to grab me one time too many. I grabbed him by the collar and slammed him into a table and said, very seriously, that I would break his hand the next time he laid one finger me (I have enough martial arts training and anatomical knowledge that it wasn’t remotely a bluff).
He believed me, and the two of them finally left me alone (and I wasn’t reported to any teachers), but I was told repeatedly by a lot of people that I shouldn’t have gotten violent because they were complimenting me. That I should have been flattered because they were popular and I wasn’t. That it wouldn’t have gone so far if I had just said yes. That I SHOULD have said yes because I didn’t have a boyfriend and God knows my life should revolve around the dream of the Disney fairytale.
You know what? Fuck that. I have the right to turn down any date I want, and I shouldn’t have to put up with harassment because of it. I have the right to say ‘do not touch me’ and be acknowledged without threatening to break bones. I have the right to say 'hey, I don’t need a boyfriend to be a fully constructed human being’ without being judged. And the worst part is that my situation? No matter how unpleasant and violating it felt? IT WAS MINOR. GIRLS DIE BECAUSE OF THIS.
Don’t teach girls how to break fingers and deviate septums. Teach boys how to respect us as human beings, not toys for their amusement.
