ill-be-the-sky:

pizza-drunk:

stuck-here-on-this-island:

I JUST SERVED A CUSTOMER AND THEY WERE PURCHASING A CUCUMBER AND THEY WENT

“It’s for Valentine’s Day”

I REPLIED

“You must be lonely?”

THEY REALISED WHAT I MEANT AND NOW I’M SAT WITH A COMPLAINANT FORM IN FRONT OF ME.

Oh god it’s going around again

One of my best friends, ladies and gents.

(via adelindschade)