I see a lot of art and fanfic showing AUs of highschool, college, etc. where Bucky is the naughty, sexy bad boy. That’s all awesome, I’m not criticizing, I love those stories too. I’m just…extrapolating, I guess.

I mean, the Winter Soldier IS a bad boy, all emo with the hair and the amnesia and the metal arm. I think we can all agree that he needs a good spanking. (Just me? No?)

But MCU Bucky Barnes? At least from what we see in the movies, he’s a stand up guy. He enlisted and didn’t get kicked out; he served honorably up until his “death”; he may have been a scoundrel with the ladies but that’s barely suggested, I mean, double dating would not be considered risque for two guys in their early 20s in 1942. His idea of a good time is not a dive bar but a family-friendly technology fair. 

Steve on the other hand, he’s going around with a chip on his shoulder, starting fights he can’t finish, and trying to defraud the military by lying about his identity MORE THAN ONCE in an effort to enlist. His first military engagement happened because he directly disobeyed orders and went AWOL, two court-martial offenses. 

No, it’s not Bucky Barnes, punk. It’s Bucky Barnes, letter man and quarterback with a great attendance record and glowing report cards and is head of the Science Club. But he keeps getting hassled because he’s hanging around with that disreputable Rogers kid who is probably queer and thinks he’s an “artist” and has weird piercings and was last seen ditching class in order stand guard outside of a Planned Parenthood clinic or getting into a fight with the police at an Occupy Movement rally.

“Seriously, Barnes, you could do better.” — every adult within five miles of Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers.