If ya’ll think I’m playing, I’m not.
You’ve probably seen the post about the fuck up between the American Possum and the Australian Possum. Now let me introduce you to fuckery of the “Canadian” Goose
There is nothing Canadian about this God Damn Goose. It is not nice. It is not adorable. It’s EVIL. IT IS DIRECT. IT IS SADISTIC. THIS THING WOULD FIGHT A SNAKE AND PROBABLY WIN
THIS BIRD IS THE EPITOME OF “FIGHT ME,” AND WILL INDEED. FIGHT. ME. AND YOU. AND ANYONE ELSE IT FEELS LIKE FUCKING UP.
They come in hoards. They lounge by the parking lot. The grocery store. The highway. The hold up traffic because when they pass, the cars know better than to endure the wrath of this Canadian goose.
iT TAKES AN ARROW TO THE HEAD, NOT EVEN A KNEE, AND CONTINUES GOING ABOUT IT’S GOD DAMN BUSINESS TERRORIZING THE PUBLIC
HOW IS THIS BIRD CANADIAN? WHAT IS CANADIAN ABOUT THIS BIRD?
THIS BIRD IS A MENACING MOTHERFUCKER. IT BELONGS IN AUSTRALIA WITH THE REST OF THE DEADLY MONSTROSITIES DOWN THERE! I KNOW THE SWOOPING MAGPIES ARE A BITCH, BUT GOD DAMNIT, WE’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT.
AUSTRALIA, YOU FORGOT YOUR BIG ASS BIRDS!!!