I would honestly prefer reading about the stupid paranormal romance where the weird non-human boyfriend can’t work out the DVD player over Brooding Manipulative and Controlling asshole trope
[screaming at the DVD player] IM 800 YEARS OLD CUT ME SOME SLACK
“How do I get to… what was it called?”
“Netflix?”
“Yes that.”
“What is that?”
“Uh, cell phone?”
“Why did you yell at it? What did it do to you?”
*long suffering sigh*
“You mean if you press those buttons there someone will bring you food?”
“Yes.”
“Witchcraft.”
“Technology.”
“Same thing.”