The problem with being introverted is that there is no polite way to say “I love you, but I’m tired of being with you right now.”
This post makes me so sad because I remember when my husband felt he couldn’t say this to me. Because society had pounded it into his head so thoroughly that it ‘wasn’t polite to ask for alone time’ that he felt he wasn’t allowed to. And he was SO MISERABLE. I, being an extrovert myself, had no idea. It wasn’t until, after lots of trial and error and lots of fighting and crying that we finally figured it out.
Saying ‘I love you, but I’m tired of being around people right now. I need time to recharge.’ is NOT IMPOLITE. If someone you say it to thinks it is? Then they need to learn what being introverted means. You can try to help them understand that you need to recharge your batteries. If they refuse to accept it… well, then, you’re never going to work anyways. Because you should NEVER sacrifice your mental health just to keep from hurting someone else’s feelings.
You can ask for alone time politely. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s not being mean. It’s not being rude. Explain that you need time to recharge. That you just need to be alone with yourself for a while. It’s so important. And the people who truly love you in return will learn and adapt as much as you do.
Also, the various little coping mechanisms and patience-snaps that creep in when someone is pushed past what they can handle are usually MORE apt to cause pain, confusion, or anger than being straight up honest about needing some time and space.
(My sweety and I have similar issues as outlined above; believe me, it’s FAR nicer for both of us when he says ‘I need some quiet’ than when he tries to grit his teeth and bear it!)
The same goes for anyone dealing with chronic pain, incidentally. For your own health and happiness and that of everyone around you, learn to tell people when you need to bow out before it hits a crisis point. You’re not being rude by knowing your own limits, but you might be rude when you’re really hurting or super overwhelmed.
If the other party can’t handle that, remind yourself that it is their problem, not yours.
(via bronzedragon)
