Some people who’ve been following me for a while probably have picked up that I love the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Although all the political mechanisms behind his assassination are fascinating as well, especially because, y’know, it led to world war 1, the actual assassination story is my favorite. (Because it was so hilariously botched)
You guys probably already know it but GUESS WHAT I’M TELLING IT AGAIN. (Im not gonna source though ‘cause I’m lazy sorry)
So, ahem. Story time. Gather round, children.
There’s this dude named Franz and he was heir presumptive to the Austro-Hungarian throne back in 1914. So he went to inspect some imperial troops in Boznia and Herzegovina, which were provinces of Austria-Hungary. This pissed off a bunch of Serbian nationalists, who thought the territories should be part of the Serbian nation.
But I don’t really care about that. What’s important was that Franz and his wife were in Sarajevo and a terrorist group called the Black Hand decided to off him.
So Franz and his wife are touring around this city in an open-topped car, doing their whole royal wave thing. The Black Hand actually sent six assassins after the Ferdinands, just to make absolutely sure they died. The first guy actually chickened out so he’s not really important. The second assassin comes up all “Yeah i’m gonna kill these guys” so he throws a grenade at the car and it BOUNCES OFF and although it injures some people nearby, the Ferdinands are completely fine. So the dude’s like “oh shit” so he takes a cyanide pill and throws himself into a river so he won’t be taken by the authorities.
Unfortunately for him, though, the cyanide pill was expired and the river was six inches deep so the police just pulled him out and took him off to jail. All the other assassins kinda just gave up and wandered off. One of the assassins, Gavrilo Princip, was like “well screw this, i’m hungry” so he left to get a sandwich.
He was in the middle of ordering said sandwich when he heard the sound of a car stalling behind him. Turns out the Ferdinand’s drivers had gotten messed up by the crowds and accidentally took a wrong turn and then stalled RIGHT NEXT TO PRINCIP. So of course Princip was like “what a crazy random happenstance” and shot them both and started world war one.
So yeah, that’s my favorite assassination story because it’s great.
BUT DID HE GET HIS SANDWICH
Tumblr user pipistrellus asking the real important questions.
(To answer your question, probably not, because he was quickly apprehended and died of tuberculosis in prison a couple months later…)
BRINGING THIS BACK BECAUSE GUESS WHO WAS ASSASSINATED 101 YEARS AGO TODAY