Okay, I like this a lot, but I have one tiny little glitch.  Natasha Romanoff would totally KICK ASS as the Chief of Security, and Thor would be thrilled to run communications.  Why?  BUCKLE UP KIDDOS THIS WILL BE BRIEF.  Thor?  Man’s a prince.  Literally.  His title is Prince of Asgard.  And yeah, he’s got the Shoulders and the Abs and the Biceps and the…I’m getting off track here.  But he’s also pretty smart (even if he’s very much a Viking warrior and a bit baffled by humanity, but when he encounters Iron Man his move is “You’re covered in metal, I’m gonna electrocute your ass” and that indicates a level of forethought, okay?).  And besides the fact that as a Prince of Asgard he has command of the Allspeak and knows many languages (useful shit for a comms officer), he was trained in diplomacy, even if it doesn’t necessarily look like it given his interactions with Jotunheim.  Earth, on the other hand, he’s on pretty good terms with, and he works hard to keep it that way.

AND NATASHA ROMANOFF.  My queen.  (Let’s pretend, for the purposes of this conversation, that the disaster that was AoU never happened.)  She would be the perfect security chief.  She’s a gifted fighter, obviously, both in hand-to-hand and with firearms (like phasers!), and on top of that she’s a skilled tactician.  “This portal is being opened by this machine–I will be much more effective trying to shut down the machine than killing the unending hordes of aliens,” is a good example of some seriously A-grade tactical thinking.  So is “Here are all the ways you’re better than me–oh, hey, thanks for telling me your whole plan, super helpful, bye” or “Pretend we’re a couple, public displays of affection make people uncomfortable,” or actually like all of her involvement in Winter Soldier.  Good shit, man, sign me up, I’d work with her.  She and Steve work well together and their ideas of ‘tactics’ mesh well, his more humanitarian perspective balances her relatively ruthless and efficient one, an important aspect in a security officer.  And lastly, she has protective instincts like WHOA for the people she considers either ‘hers’ or bystanders.  She puts her life on the line repeatedly to save Clint from Loki and takes the time to help him clear a stranded bus full of innocents in Avengers, she risks her neck to save Pepper and help take down Hammer in Iron Man 2, she goes AWOL from the organization that saved her from the Red Room and has protected her for untold years to save Steve in Winter Soldier, not to mention blasting all of the secrets that she’s undoubtedly worked hard to keep to the world in order to take down Insight and taking more care to clear the street of bystanders than avoid taking a bullet during the fight on the bridge.  Like, correct me if I’m wrong, but she would make an exceptional security officer.  And she would probably cut down on the number of poor red-shirted motherfuckers getting killed on away missions, because you would get onto the Enterprise as a security officer and you’d be real excited for about three seconds before Commander Romanoff turned up and started running you through suicide drills.  And you’d really resent her for it right up until your first away mission, when you would find yourself sprinting flat-out away from whatever alien was trying to kill you right then and realize that her torture just saved you and everyone with you.  Chief of Security Natasha Alianova Romanoff for the WIN.