because I’m tired of the ‘male love interest can’t navigate a kitchen to save his life bc apparently even microwaves are a menace to romantic leads’ trope - *squints at fsog* - I now present a list of culinary aus that I need as of right now:

• rival chefs au
• chef trying to impress this one picky food critic au
• “you said you would help me make dinner but now you’re criticising my onion chopping skills and when exactly did this turn into a not-so-friendly round of master chef???” au
• “when I questioned your ability to critique food I wasn’t expecting you to be this good at bullshit about the ‘flavour notes’ you detect and ‘spring-plucked plums’ and… wtf even is ‘umami’? shit this pretentious pedant thing might be a teeny bit hot” au
• NO RESERVATIONS AU
• “you simply happen to be the only foodie I know and so what if that means I occasionally blow off dates to check out that new French restaurant downtown with you it’s not like it means anything” au
• “yes, I am blackmailing you into wearing that novelty apron fite me” au
• “no, you can’t just make me dinner and think that will make it all better… but it wouldn’t hurt” au
• “when I said we should experiment with some chocolate sauce sexytimes I didn’t expect you to immediately bring out the double boiler! I mean, I have simple tastes, I could totally go pick up some Nesquik- alright, alright, I won’t mess with the 'integrity’ of the thing bc wOW this is absolutely delicious and… babe of course I’m still into the whole sex part of the plan but is that a hint of chili I detect?!” au
• “I started singing 'feed me seymour’ and I’m not stopping until you either burst into song or make me a snack” au
• “what do you mEAN you bought a whole round of roquefort WHEN WOULD WE EVER NEED THAT MUCH CHEESE” au
• “bringing me leftovers of the meal you cooked with mY gourmet prosciutto does not negate thievery even if it was delicious. worst. roommate. ever.” au
• “so we may have set off the fire alarm. twice. and I know there’s a worrying amount of flour everywhere. but we made cupcakes together without killing each other and that’s the importan- nO OF COURSE WE DIDN’T MAKE OUT ok maybe a little” au
• COUPLES COOKING TOGETHER AUs