Inner Boss Bitch Voice

nudiemuse:

selfcarelikeaboss:

Understanding our relationships with our bodies and selves can be rough. When I feel like I just don’t give a shit because I’m gross I get tough with myself. Call it my inner Boss Bitch Voice. I look at myself and say, Okay, damn it, get your shit together. Drink your water. GO GO GO GO! Put your pants on. GO GO GO GO! DO THE THING! PUT YOUR DAMN EYELINER ON YOU MAGNIFICENT ASSHOLE! No, really, this happens in my head.

I know that if I keep up my self-care (take care of my skin and hair and drink my water), then I will feel better in the long run. Even when I look in the mirror and hate what I see, I know deep down if I don’t self-care I will feel ten times worse.

To that end, I get tough. I tell myself, Okay, you hate all those things, but take care of them anyway. I keep track of what I’ve done or I share on social media how I am caring for myself and it helps me.

It doesn’t matter how you self-care or to what extent at this point. This is the point where it’s just more important to keep it up. It’s hard and you might cry or rail against it or feel like there’s no point.

Through self-care I started to hate less. When I take the time to rub (I just had a Silence of the Lambs moment) lotion into my skin, I take some time to check myself. Am I putting moral value into the cellulite on my ass? I know that is not a good thing to do, I can think about not doing that. I hate my face? Okay, let me decorate my stupid ugly face until I feel like I can accept it a bit more. Or deal with it for the moment.

I also want you to know that none of this, no matter how much you know about it or how much experience you have with it, is going to be easy all of the time. There are going to be times in your life when self-care is the dumbest thing in the world and you might curse my name for ever telling you about it. That’s okay. That is being human.

I promise you, self-care is not only vital and rebellious, it is for you. Even when shit is hard, you hate your face, you have ten minutes a day to get it done, you’re having confused gender feels. Even if you’re a hetero cisdude, a kid, a mom, a gay Dad. It is for you. This, my friends, is where we really begin revolution. It goes that deep.

When we actively fight all the shit we’re taught about our bodies (how we should care for ourselves and who gets to do beauty and self-care), when we say, No, no that’s just not right, and we do self-care for ourselves, that is where change begins. It is the bedrock of changing our culture a microcosm at a time. Self-care is contagious. If you, my homie, start self-caring on the regular, you are doing your thing. People close to you will notice. Maybe your skin looks brighter or there is more of a sparkle in your eye. Maybe you are carrying yourself like you are the flyest motherfucker alive. You tell them you do this self-care stuff and are serious about it. Maybe they start doing it too. Maybe you do it together. You teach your kids, or they teach their kids. And so on.

I believe that you can do it. You are completely and totally in charge of this. Your word is law. I want you to take some time here and really let what I’ve told you sink in. Self-care is for you if you are full of self-loathing, if you have low self-esteem, if you are completely unsure about all this shit. It is for you. You are not only entitled to all of these things, you deserve them. You are not too ugly, fat, manly, feminine, gay, queer, gendered, agendered, pretty, stupid, smart, vain, or vapid to engage in and learn to enjoy self-care. You are perfect for self-care. You deserve self-care. Your life and exitence in this universe are so vital and so important. Helping you survive is a great crusade.

I am ride or die about this. I am dead ass serious. I am talking to you. Not you in the sense of the big macro universe you. I am talking to the you who is reading this right now. I don’t give a shit what anyone has ever said to you before. You are important. You are worth it. You are a magnificent human being who is doing really great. You might be sick, you might be in debt, you might be mid transition and confused as fuck, you might be sitting there cursing yourself from toes to bhole. That’s okay. No matter what you are dealing with right now it absolutely does not make you less than. If you are struggling that does not mean you have failed. It means you are fighting. And that is fucking awesome.

Regardless of the struggle, regardless of what you feel like you are failing at you, are doing fucking awesome. You are moving around, you are reading this, you are learning some shit. You fucking rule. I mean that, my homies. From the bottom of my little heart.

Now time for a gut check. Are you breathing? Are you maybe having a shit time but trying to work it out? Are you still reading all this? YOU ARE DOING IT. Even if you are full of bad thoughts and doubts about all this shit, you are doing it. Right now we are doing the damn thing and drop kicking the status quo. Welcome to the revolution my homies.

This is a love letter.

From me to you.

(via bonehandledknife)