buffy: do not fight buffy. the entire show is dedicated to the fact that you should not fight buffy. she will kick your ass. do NOT fight buffy.

xander: fight xander. please just fight xander. everyone is rooting for you! if you do decide to fight xander, call me. let me watch. please fight xander.

willow: what the fuck ???? why would you fight willow. willow skinned a guy alive. do NOT fight willow. i repeat, do NOT fight willow.

giles: you could fight giles i guess, but why? he’s just a kind librarian. except for his ripper days and when he suffocated ben to death, but regardless. why would you fight giles?

cordelia: cordelia will TEAR YOU APART. not physically, but socially. she willdestroy you. do not fight cordelia.

angel: you could fight angel and you’d probably lose. but this man has already been through enough. get him some coffee. hug him. don’t fight angel.

spike: please fight spike. please just take one for the team and kick spike’s ass. he would probably kill you but i bet you could beat him up enough to give him a black eye or a scratch or something. fight spike.

faith: do not fight faith unless you have a death wish

tara: why the fuck would you fight tara??? tara is a cinnamon roll. love her. protect her. don’t fight tara. if you fight tara, i will fight you.

anya: girl was a venegance demon for over a thousand years. do not fight anya.