okay, i know that us folks with mental illnesses tend to sort of cluster together, so here’s a reminder for everyone with depression & anxiety who has friends with depression & anxiety:
- other people’s mental illnesses are not your fault.
- while it is a good and kind thing to support your friends struggling with anxiety and depression, it is never your responsibility. you are not a bad or evil person for saying “caring for you isn’t something i’m prepared to do; please find someone else to support you.”
- you are never, ever, ever required to provide energy and care to someone to the point where it is detrimental to your own mental health.
- if you are your friend’s only source of care, your first priority should be to find them backup sources of care. you cannot be on duty 24/7. it’s not fair to you.
- you cannot cure them. you cannot fix them. you cannot save them.
- ultimately, their recovery, self-care, and ability to live day-to-day with their illness is something they have to do. they don’t have to do it alone– but they have to do it.
- sometimes their mental illnesses make them do shitty things to you. when that happens, you’re allowed to feel hurt. you’re allowed to be pissed off. understand: their mental illnesses, and the behaviors associated with it, are not their fault. it hurts them just as much as it hurts you. that does not mean the impact of it on you is not real and painful.
- sometimes you’ll feel frustrated by your friend, or exhausted by them, because caring for others is frustrating and exhausting. this does not make you a bad person. taking out that frustration and exhaustion on your friend is a dick move. but you’re not a dick for feeling those feelings. take a deep breath, acknowledge your own emotions, and move forward.
- if your friend relies on you to the extent that your life becomes about caring for them, something has gone wrong.
(Source: swanjolras-archive, via bonehandledknife)
