"Bring consent out of the bedroom. I think part of the reason we have trouble drawing the line “it’s not okay to force someone into sexual activity” is that in many ways, forcing people to do things is part of our culture in general. Cut that shit out of your life. If someone doesn’t want to go to a party, try a new food, get up and dance, make small talk at the lunchtable—that’s their right. Stop the “aww c’mon” and “just this once” and the games where you playfully force someone to play along. Accept that no means no—all the time."

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The Pervocracy: Consent culture. (via notemily)

This article changed my fucking life. I’m so glad people are still reading it.

(via thedatingfeminist)


People are always so damned shocked that I say no and don’t change my mind when they plead and coax, even when it’s something small like ‘hey grab some ice cream with us’ or ‘did you see that new embarrassing cringe viral video?’

(via theopaquemindpalace)

Consent in everything that we do, in everywhere that we are, is so important.  

Persuasion quickly turns to talking over/ignoring/silencing.  It’s all potential bullying.  

I said no at work the other day, and a VP (a fellow white woman, but older, so there was a power dynamic imbalance) ignored me.  I said no again, and they kept talking over me.  I kept saying no, and finally walked out of the room where I had hidden myself to work on a project (where the VP then barged in to demand my attention) and returned down the hall to my boss’ (another VP) office.  

The VP actually chased (chased) me to yell at me to tell me that I didn’t have a right to say no– after not letting me talk to say that in fact, I had a project for 1) the CEO and 2) OSHA (you know, the agency with the authority to fine workplaces hundreds of thousands of dollars?) that I had to finish instead.  But they wouldn’t give me space to talk and say WHY I was saying no until they were faced with my boss, at which point I said 1) no, I have conflicting projects and 2) no, and how dare you not listen the first time and 3) no, how dare you chase and raise your voice at me and then, 4) I left the room and my boss took it from there with more raised voices and some actual cussing.

I am lucky I could do this because I am 1) a bitch 2) have done stuff like this before and 3) have a boss who will back me up on stuff like this, but it happens all of the time.  Consent isn’t just about sex.  It’s about your time and your boundaries everywhere.  

(via lettersfromeleanorrigby)

(Source: pervocracy.blogspot.com, via johanirae)