When men pop up saying “I’ve been falsely accused of rape/sexual assault” all I hear is “I refuse to consider that I did violate boundaries while relying on non-verbal cues for consent, I refuse to believe that I actually hurt someone, and I clearly know better than the person who’s boundaries I crossed.”
I had an ex who said he’d been falsely accused of rape by some girl in high school and at first I believed him because I thought he seemed like a guy who would never do that
Fast forward 3 years later and I can totally believe he did actually rape her and he just doesn’t realize what he did was rape. He has a very clear idea on what rape is and so he’d never see pushing someone into sex as rape. I had to say to him multiple times after we were broken up to stop doing things like asking me for a kiss and a hug or asking me out or buying me gifts. He had massive issues with boundaries.
So yeah, when you hear a guy say “I was falsely accused” what you should hear is “I have no idea what rape is and think my violation of this person was just a misunderstanding”. You should hear “I don’t understand boundaries and actively violate them”