We need more women in the media on every level and in every aspect. That’s a given.
We also need better men in the media, on every level, and in every aspect.
Women in the media still have to achieve twice as much as men to get half the respect, both behind the scenes and on screen.
Chris Rock, while remarking on Obama being the first black U.S. president, said “That’s not black progress. That’s white progress. There’s been black people qualified to be president for hundreds of years.” This same sentiment applies to feminism. If we’re seeing more women in the media, it’s not because women have gotten better. It’s because men have gotten better. Ultimately, if we want to continue making things better for women, it’s men’s behavior that has to change. If we want to bring more women into male dominated fields, men need to stop creating hostile work environments for them.
And this is why I grow so weary of feminist media that continues to surround its female leads with Loveable MisogynistTM and Nice GuyTM male protagonists.
We need more protagonists like Steve Rogers, who accept rejection with grace, instead of treating flirtation like a sales transaction to be haggled over. We need more protagonists like Wade Wilson, a man in his mid thirties who thinks getting hit on by an woman nearly half his age is awkward and disturbing, instead of sexy, and who genuinely respects and admires his age-appropriate girlfriend who does sex work. We need more Fury Road version Max Rockatanskys, more Finn Damerons, more Peeta Mellarks, and more Raleigh Beckets.
I by no means want to devalue the importance of calling out problematic male behavior. On the contrary – it’s important to show that even well meaning men can unintentionally cause harm.
But there’s no point telling men and boys “what not to do” if we’re not also showing men and boys what they should be doing.
When the media fails to consistently portray positive male role models, the consequence of this failure is the normalization of male entitlement, casual misogyny, and other sexist micro-aggressions and macro-aggressions.
Yo, I feel this way about most forms of social justice and call-outs: you can’t just leave it at identifying the problem, you need to show how to fix it too. You need examples of how disparities in privilege can be navigated gracefully and fairly; what recovering from being wrong looks like; what respect looks like; what self-control and humility looks like; what combating inequality looks like.
Positive media examples are one of the best ways to do this. I feel like mobbing everything that’s “problematic” is a great way to make yourself feel good, like you’re punching up, but that’s the easy part. Trying to make something that people can look up to and be a good role model is contentious and scary. People will disagree with you. What you make will never be enough to combat all the negative stereotypes that need addressing.
That’s why it’s important to remember that there’s more than ONE way to be a positive example, and we need ALL of them. Having a good protagonist or a good role model who inspires one kind of person may not be the right model for every person. It’s important to have quantity; you can’t load all the expectations of being the perfect role model or character on ONE person. It’s impossible, and in fiction, it’s boring. It’s belief-straining. We need Steven Universes AND Mad Maxes AND Ray Holts etc etc. The more examples you have, the less need there is for every one of them to be perfect, and the more room there is to explore variety.
Yes. Identify problems, then suggest solutions.