Found this at my doctor’s office, just in time for Autism Freakout Month… seriously!? I’m too tired to come up with a good snark for this, anyone got a good one?
[Image: A whiteboard decorated in red and green handwritten text. It is titled, “Know about your cell phone”, and it reads, “Did you know that cell phones emit RF (Radio Frequency) Radiation? This cell phone radiation is not being linked to Autism, Infertility, brain tumours, and breast cancer. Did you know that you should keep you cell phone at least 0.98 inches from your body to be safe from harmful radiation?”]
If I tape my cellphone to my forehead, will I achieve SUPER AUTISM? Because I want the maximum allowed number of autisms. The highest possible level of autism.
And furthermore. Jesus Christ people. That’s just…not how radio waves work. It’s not. What the fuck. Like. Okay. You’ve got your electromagnetic spectrum and radio waves are one of the most harmless things on there. Like, visible light could blind you. UV light can cause DNA mutations leading to cancer. Anything north of that (X-rays to gamma, for example) is some Bad Shit. Radio waves…uh, I mean, maybe don’t build yourself a shed of cell phones and sit in it while they’re all making a call, but even if all you had were Nokia phones and you used them as bricks, I’m pretty sure you’d be fine. At least until your Nokia kingdom fell down and crushed you.
…also, 0.98 inches is…awfully specific? What…do you think that’s going to do? If we pretend for a minute that cell phones ARE giving off harmful radiation, literally two seconds of thought should be enough to tell you that an inch ain’t gonna do shit. Nothing. Jack diddly squat. “Oh, you have a radioactive piece of uranium? Hold that puppy a little farther away from your skin, it’ll be fine.” No. Just no.