unpretty

i like to imagine that clark kent’s search history is mostly normal but then there’s stuff like “improved superman costume concept art” because he wanted ideas

unpretty

#what would you even do as an artist #if one day superman is just wearing a costume that is clearly your design #like superman was clearly looking at your deviantart #there is a chance that superman saw that art you drew of him kissing batman #why is he wearing the costume you designed #is he trying to send a message #is he saying that he really does smooch batman #did superman see your kryptosona #how much does he know 

someone said they wanted to be able to reblog this with my horrible tags

reallyohcrap

no but like… do you sue him for using your designs? Do you politely ask him to stop using your designs? Do you ask him for license fees when the Superman merchandise adopts your design as well? 

unpretty

i am absolutely sure that he would find one with an artist’s comment/description that included “hey superman if you’re reading this feel free to use this anytime ok ;3″ and he would say “oh man that’s so thoughtful, thank you weedhorse69, I think I will” and like how do you explain in court that you, weedhorse69, did not intend for your statement to be any kind of contractual offer because you did not think he would ever find your public internet post with his name all over it

mellydraws

#people are reblogging the version of this without my final addition#offended that i would suggest clark kent wouldn’t credit the artist#missing what i consider to be the obvious facts of the matter#it’s probably a costume designed out of pure thirst too like#weedhorse69 is gonna keep his mouth shut because this way he gets to watch superman#running around town in a costume that really shows off his biceps and abs#he thought it looked summery#the league holds an intervention asking him to please stop wearing it#he does not stop no one can stop him#batman v superman II: clark please put on a real shirt

unpretty

tumblr is garbage and likes to resize everything and readmores don’t work on mobile anyway so you all will just have to click through if you want to read weedhorse69′s chatlog screenshots

nonasuch

you should DEFINITELY read weedhorse69’s chatlog screenshots, oh my god

white-throated-packrat

And now I’m imaging that weedhorse69 is Kyle Rayner before he got the ring.

Later, after he gets the ring … awkward. So awkward.

unpretty

“Obviously you aren’t obligated to join the League, but we’d be happy to have you.”

Kyle was going to die. He did not, despite the obvious facts, consider himself to be possessed of great will. It did not occur to him that the fact that he could make himself stand there and pretend to be casual spoke volumes.

“I’ll have to think about it,” he said, hoping that his voice didn’t shake, turning down the thing he would have liked most in the world. “I’m a pretty private person.”

Superman considered this. “That’s fair,” he said, “but maybe I should mention that the League doesn’t require you to disclose your civilian identity.”

“It doesn’t?” Shit. He shouldn’t have sounded so excited.

“No. Some people choose to disclose to close friends, but it isn’t on file and no one has to share anything they’re not comfortable with.”

“Oh.” Maybe… maybe no one would have to know. Maybe he could do this. “I’ll still have to think about it,” he said, even as he made up his mind, “but I am very interested.” Superman smiled, suddenly, and even though he had been nothing but kind Kyle was terrified. “What? Did I say something funny?”

“No, no, you’re fine,” Superman assured him. “Usually Green Lanterns are a little more candid, is all. There’s nothing wrong with it.”

“I, uh.” Kyle faltered. “It’s not that I have anything to hide. It’s just… before I got the ring, I… did some things I’m not proud of.” Superman nodded in a manner warily sympathetic. “Things are different now, though. Very different.”

“I believe you,” Superman said, and it was absolutely killing him how nice he was. He was so nice. Kyle’s only saving grace was that he was wearing the classic costume. “The ring chose you, that’s all I need to know.”

Oh, god. Superman thought he had reformed from a life of crime.

He wasn’t entirely wrong. Right? Right. This was fine. Everything was fine. Kyle would join the League and never tell anyone his name and no one would ever know the depth of his sins and he would meet Batman and that would end well.

… he needed to go find Jimmy immediately.

brinconvenient

1) I don’t know how I had failed to follow @unpretty after I read Empty Graves.

2) Clearly this is a woman with a firm grasp of the best version of the DC Universe.

3) This thing of beauty is the thingest of beauties that ever did exist

4) I didn’t know I shipped Jimmy Olsen (jimjams) with Kyle Rayner until I did

5) If you don’t click on the chatlog screenshots and laugh your entire ass completely off, I don’t know why you follow my trash heap tumblr because we have nothing in common.