it would suck being a new immortal. like it’d be 2109 and people would go, “what was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?” and i’d just be like, “no…no i was born in 1991. so like, wow i’m gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean i’m not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. don’t think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.”
even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff. “What was it like seeing the pyramids being built?”
“Fuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.”
“Oh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?”
“I fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.”“What was it like seeing all the ancient civilizations rise and all that? Like did you watch the pyramids being built?”
“Nah, i was only born in 1991. But you know what i did see? The development of the technology age. When I was a kid, computers were big, bulky, and overheated constantly. Phones were attached to walls by cords and you didn’t know who was calling. If you connected to the Internet it was through your phone line too, so you couldn’t make calls and surf the net. They were just figuring out all that wireless and portability stuff. Cell phones were the coolest things. They had so many different styles and types until they came out with touch screens on phones. Then they kinda stopped coming out with really different styles.
“There was also this thing called a floppy drive. It was the main stage device but it only held a few mb of data. Then CDs. I remember having a 14 mb flashdrive and being cool cause it held so much.”
“What’s a flash drive?”
“… Memory stick. It was a memory stick.”
“When I was young there was a brick a mortar store where you got movies and games. It was like Netflix, Hulu and Steam put together. We called it: Blockbuster.”
“… what the fuck is a … block … buster?”
“It’s just what we called it. And back then, and remember it was over seven hundred years ago, gays couldn’t get married. Having a gay relationship could get you in big trouble.”
“What? You’re making this up. How could a relationship-”
“It just did. They could fire you from your job. They could kick you out onto the street.”
“But, but! You’d die!”
“They didn’t care.”
“… fuck …”
“And there used to be a place called Florida! It’s underwater now but-”
(via littlestartopaz)
