Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

suzukiblu:

suzukiblu:

beckyh2112 replied to your post:beckyh2112 replied to your post:I want to hear…

*rolls over, bares her tummy* yesssssss

Also NONE OF THIS makes Vader less vicious or violent out in the world. Sometimes this makes Vader MORE vicious and violent out in the world, in fact, because he figures out slightly quicker than Padmé exactly how much SHARPER she is with him when he’s gone farther than she wanted him to go. And it’s not even the sharpness he wants specifically–it’s the ATTENTION–but he’d never say no to it. When she figures THAT out … hah. Haaaaah. She doesn’t even have to fucking TOUCH him, when she figures that out. 

She DOESN’T touch him when she figures that out. He goes fucking CRAZY with it; he falls the fuck APART with it. She doesn’t even look at him for a full week, not even when he goddamn BEGS her to. The Empire could probably have collapsed without either of them noticing, if the Senate hadn’t known exactly how dead they all would’ve been if it had. 

Just–Padmé Amidala literally riding the FUCKING TIGER here, with the fine line of giving Vader enough Dark to be content with but not enough to damn himself with. As if that even matters, now. As if that COULD matter, now. 

It matters even more, now. 

But what Vader wants from her is so much tenderness, and so much terribleness, and so MUCH, and sometimes Padmé isn’t sure if she’s the bloody bite-mark smeared down his throat or the soft hand stroking through his sticky, sweat-soaked hair. Or worse–if she’s both. What is she, if she is both those things to someone? 

What is she if she is both those things to the GALAXY? 

@words-writ-in-starlight: honestly padme’s internal riding the whirlwind half-panic is so glorious and like i am SO HERE for vader who is so much her servant in every way and when she realizes that ah when she realizes that things change vader goes out and runs wild against her orders and returns with blood on his hands and she greets him with a cool nod and a cursory kiss to the cheek and then she goes back to her work and doesn’t say anything further except a brief reprimand for the wreckage and he is SO LOST in the absence of her grounding him vader goes out on another mission and follows her orders to the letter and when he returns padme makes herself smile and opens her arms and asks ‘what do you want tonight’ ‘what can i give you for making me so happy’ and he falls into her like she is a black hole and he is so far beyond the event horizon and padme holds him close and bites and kisses and bloodies him and he is drunk on it on HER and she is so so afraid of him of herself for the galaxy for her children I LOVE THIS AU SO MUCH

Like I would add more here but WHAT IS THERE TO ADD?? What. What could I even put here? Except maybe the part where Padmé realizes that even as she’s wrapping a tighter leash around Vader’s throat than anyone else ever has, he’s fucking THANKING her for it. He’s always had a leash or a collar or a slave chip, he’s always been OWNED by something or someone, and he’s always hated it. But HER leash, HER rules, HER orders–those aren’t like anyone else’s. He’s HAPPY under her, and all it took was a few thousand murders and betrayals, all it took was killing himself for her. 

Vader doesn’t know how to be free, because the Force doesn’t expect him to be free and even Anakin never really knew how to be. Even though this is the MOST free that either of him has ever been. He could do anything he wanted, go anywhere he wanted, and all he wants is his Master. 

Padmé realizes this. Padmé HATES this. 

Padmé also rewards him when he obeys her, and punishes him when he doesn’t.