Okay so your French History lessons are delightful, and I am an American with a terrible school system and an affection for historical factotum, please tell me something--anything--I don't know about the history of France. (Also your blog gives me life, you're fantastic, and have a lovely day.)

OKAY SO HERE IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITES!

Louis XIV was known to have a lot of sex when he was young and later in adulthood. Like. A lot. 

His brother, Phillipe d’Orléans, was known to be gay and quite publically so, and though he did obey his brother’s wishes to marry and have children, he kept lovers under his sleeves all his life

So when he was older, Louis XIV married one of his mistresses, Madame de Maintenon, who was a devote Jansenist. So the King had a sort of religious crisis and became SUPER CATHOLIC. So much so that he told his brother to “stop his indiscretions”, talking about his gay lovers. And Phillipe roasted him on a spike saying: 

“Well let me remind you you fucked more girls than there are beads on your rosary, so STFU” (I believe he said something along the lines of “Vous avez enfilé plus de filles que de perles à votre chapelet” in French which is fucking SAVAGE)