Pfffft, corculum, let’s not pretend “ability to talk dirty in Latin” is a life skill here, okay? I took a couple years and read some Catullus/Virgil, and then our teacher had us translate erotica as a reward for all of us doing well on a test. He’s a weird dude.
But on the other hand I’ve been pretty depressed tonight and talking dirty in a dead language made me feel good about myself, so gratias tibi ago, corculum meum, teque amo.
OH ALSO ANON
IF YOU WANT TO LEARN HOW TO FLIRT IN LATIN SOME MORE
I WROTE A BRIEF PRIMER A LONG TIME AGO
THIS IS MY TIME TO SHINE. HERE IS HOW YOU SEXT IN LATIN.
GREETING FIRST: Salve, puer pulcher/puella pulchra/hominis dulcis. (Hey, pretty boy/pretty girl/sweet person. Latin is inherently gendered but both hominis and dulcis are ‘neuter’ so.)
EVERYBODY LIKES FLATTERY: Facies splendidissimus habes. (You have the most amazing face.)
BE BLUNT: Visne me futere/pedicare? (Do you want to fuck me/have anal with me? Use as applicable)
INVITATION: Domus meus vacuus est lectusque meus frigus te sine est, si vis visitare. (My house is empty and my bed is cold without you, if you want to come over.)
Go forth and seduce people with your Latin. I also recommend this poem if you want to piss someone off and learn some Latin vulgarities (teaches ‘to fuck’, ‘to face-fuck,’ ‘to have anal/sodomize,’ ‘bottom/catamite,’ etc.) and this one if you want to be romantic and seduce someone (genuinely beautiful love poetry and imagery, also lovely when read aloud).