a friend shared a meme on facebook titled ‘what the signs like’, the joke being that all of them were ‘punching a nazi in the face’; i felt it lacked nuance and so:

aries: punching a nazi in the face, ANY TIME, ANYWHERE, MFCKZ

taurus: punching a nazi in the face in defense of friends threatened by him, also stealing his sandwich

gemini: punching a nazi in the face, and then going home and writing a blog post about love and understanding

cancer: inviting a nazi over for poisoned tea

leo: punching a nazi in the face, then climbing on a platform to give an impassioned speech about it

virgo: exhaustively researching the best methods of nazi-punching before delivering a perfectly calculated blow to a nazi’s face, being unsatisfied, starting over

libra: punching a nazi in the face, dancing while glitter spontaneously rains from the sky

scorpio: sneaking up behind a nazi and pushing him into someone else’s fist

sagittarius: charming a nazi into punching himself in the face

capricorn: punching ten nazis on the way to pick up a cup of coffee before work in the morning

aquarius: punching a nazi in the face as public therapeutic performance art, not caring that nobody gets it

pisces: summoning a force of pure psychic energy to deck a nazi without moving a muscle