NO BUT LIKE FOR REAL PAUL REVERE HAD SOME OF THE SHITTIEST HANDWRITING I HAVE EVER HAD TO READ. I KNOW HE PROBABLY DIDN’T EXPECT PEOPLE TO BE JUDGING HIM ON THAT DAMN NEAR 250 YEARS LATER BUT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE BECAUSE IT IS SOME CHICKENSCRATCH
LIKE THE ONLY REASON “PAUL REVERE BECAUSE OF HIS SHITTY HANDWRITING” ISN’T MY ANSWER TO “WHICH FOUNDING FATHER WOULD YOU USE A TIME MACHINE TO SMACK UPSIDE THE MOUTH” IS BECAUSE THOMAS JEFFERSON IS A PERSON WHO EXISTS
SOME OF YOU MIGHT BE ASKING YOURSELF, “WHAT ABOUT GEORGE WASHINGTON? WHY NOT SMACK HIM IN THE MOUTH?” AND I WILL TELL YOU WHY. I DO NOT HAVE A DEATH WISH AND THAT FUCKER WOULD KILL ME. I CAN TAKE NERDY WIMP T.J. IN A FIGHT BUT I AM NOT PUTTING MY HAND ANYWHERE NEAR THE MOUTH OF SOMEONE WHO WORE DENTURES MADE OF IVORY FROM A HIPPOPOTAMUS, THE WORLD’S DEADLIEST PREDATOR. ALSO MY MAN WAS LIKE SIX-FOOT-TWENTY AND I AM NOT VERY TALL SO I PROBABLY COULDN’T REACH HIS MOUTH ANYWAY.
WHY WOULD YOU NOT SLAP ANDREW JACKSON I KNOW HE ISNT A FOUNDING FATHER BUT SOME PEOPLE CONSIDER HIM TO BE
LOOK IF YOU WANT TO BE BLUDGEONED TO DEATH BY AN OLD MAN’S CANE, BE MY GUEST, BUT I DON’T WANT MY LAST MOMENTS TO BE TERRIFYING SO I’M GONNA AVOID A PHYSICAL CONFRONTATION WITH A GUY WHO, BLEEDING FROM A BULLET TO THE HEART, LITERALLY SHOT A MAN DEAD JUST BECAUSE THE DUDE CALLED HIM CHICKEN
ALSO HE IS NOT A FOUNDING FATHER SO HE IS NOT INCLUDED IN THIS