• CLEARLY Finn is King of Camelot, destined ruler of all Albion, hero-king snatched from a training center designed to churn out devoted soldiers for a dangerous faction rising in the wake of the previous wicked king’s demise (Palpatine, obvs)

• Rey is his queen and court enchanter, and Finn met her after being separated from his guardsan attack by bandits—she whomped him good with a staff and threw him into a lake with magic.  Naturally, he brought her back to his citadel and was like “This is our new court enchanter, she used to be a feral mountain child” and within a few months everyone went “Hey Finn what if you got married” and he went “Sounds great, meet your new queen!”  And everyone was EITHER really delighted OR completely horrified.  They’re a kickass couple and Rey is really good with seeing possible lines of influence and Finn is actually a killer diplomat and basically they rock.

• With the help of their Most Loyal and Trusted Knight, who would DIE for his king, especially since Finn swooped in and saved him when his quest went horribly awry in the process of booking it from the First Order.  Obviously this is the adopted son of the Lady of the Lake, Sir Poe Dameron (du Lac)…  

• You see where I’m going with this.

Kylo Ren is breathless when he dashes into the king’s study, the crash of the heavy wood door drawing King Finn’s attention at once.  The strong lines of his face creases into a broad, friendly smile as he straightens up, setting aside his work and gesturing to a chair.

“Sir Ben,” the king says warmly.  “What can I do for you?”

Kylo Ren keeps his face still at the old name and remains standing.  He tries to look anxious, even stricken, wringing his hands and glancing away from Finn’s gaze.  “Sire,” he says, and tries to make it sound like the word is hard to get out because he’s stressed, rather than because the word is sour in his mouth—usurper, he snarls in his mind.  “I don’t—I don’t quite know how to tell you this, but.”

He stops.

Finn frowns, folding both hands on his desk. “It’s all right, Ben,” Finn says, gentle.  “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, sire,” Kylo Ren says, plastering a look of dismay onto his face.  He quashes down the flicker of something like guilt at throwing his foster brother to the wolves of fate, but needs must.  “I saw—I saw—I’m sorry, sire, I saw the queen and Sir Dameron kissing on the battlements.”

The king’s face does something indefinable. Despite Finn’s talents as a diplomat and general, he never did quite conquer the habits instilled by wearing a helm at all times before leaving the Order.  Kylo Ren can usually read him perfectly, but now…  Finn could be thinking anything.

There’s a long beat of silence, the only sound the crackling of the fire, before Finn says, “Thank you for telling me, Ben.  Please don’t discuss this with anyone until I have the chance to sort things out.”

“Of course, sire,” Kylo Ren says, bowing from the waist as Finn rises and strides toward the door.  He lets himself grin, wild and triumphant, as the door closes behind Finn.  His master’s plan is working beautifully.

Kylo Ren remains under this impression for three days, during which Sir Poe is nowhere to be found and the king and queen spend the vast majority of their time having conversations in low tones, conversations that come to abrupt and awkward ends whenever someone comes close enough to overhear.

And then on the third evening Sir Poe is back and Kylo Ren sits back comfortably to wait for the fallout.

He’s utterly confused when, the next morning, breakfast is a positively jubilant affair presided over by a beaming king, with Queen Rey giggling at his left hand and Sir Poe smiling almost shyly on his right.  

• In which the plans of Kylo Ren Mordred are thwarted by convenient threesomes. So instead of a lot of catastrophe and death and Camlann, the Camelot army survives Camlann and so do Finn and Rey and Poe, and they go to war with the First Order and Kylo Ren, foster brother of Sir Poe Lancelot, reveals himself as a sneaky-ass traitor and thus we preserve a lot of the knife-twisty betrayal aspect that makes Le Morte D’Arthur so tragic.

• Other highlights include:

• Luke is the ex-court enchanter who was running a small school for magic users before every student was murdered fifteen years ago by a knight in strange black armor, with a sword limned in red fire—Luke went into hiding in a forest afterward, and no one ever found out who the killer was.

• LEIA THE LADY OF THE LAKE, KINGMAKER AND ARMY-RAISER AND STRONG IN THE MAGIC OF THE WORLD—in this universe, the slaughter of the village of Alderaan was the last desperate ploy of King Palpatine, who had been bled badly by the rebellion led by Leia, lady of the noble house Organa and adopted daughter of Alderaan’s magistrate.  After being mortally wounded defending her people, Leia’s comrade and lover, the sellsword Han, brought her to the edge of the lake of Avalon on her command, and her lost twin brother met them there.  Leia’s blood spilled into the lake and she was bound to it, body and soul—immortal and unaging, a servant of the deep magics.  Despite her somewhat…nontraditional circumstances, Leia helps raise, arm, and empower the army that Finn leads onto the field of Camlann, and he wields the sword Excalibur that she gave him.  She’s his most trusted advisor on military matters.

• Poe was a foundling, but Ben is Leia’s son, blood and bone, a gift from the power of the lake when Leia wished for a child.  His betrayal, believing that he has been cheated of the magic that should have been his, is a bitter thing.

• The fighter pilots are the Knights of the Round Table.

• Poe’s horse is a chestnut named Beebee.

• No member of Rogue One was a knight during their life—two monks, a desperate escaped message rider from Palpatine’s army, a spy for the Rebellion and his ill-tempered manservant, and a criminal wanted in half a dozen cities under half a dozen names.  They weren’t knighted after their deaths, either, after their suicide mission into the heart of enemy territory to send word of the terrible squadron of mercenaries known as the Star—the message rider makes it out of the citadel of Scarif, bleeding down his horse’s flank, and lives long enough to tell Leia in person before he dies.  But nonetheless they are remembered as the best of the Rebellion’s loyal knights.

• IDK Anakin is still a fuckup but he’s not Force Jesus, he’s just stupidly powerful in terms of magic with critically poor judgement, and the Jedi were an order of enchanters who were still really unhelpful with the whole ‘emotion’ and ‘attachment’ thing so basically that went about the same, Padme is dead and Anakin stomps around in black armor that’s been bonded to his severed limbs by Super Dark Magic.

• Poe takes that entire three days to go to the edge of the lake of Avalon and panic in full Technicolor at Leia, who puts up with it for about a day and a half before she points at him and goes “Listen carefully while I impart the wisdom of the ages to you.”  And he listens and then he’s taken very aback when she says, slow and articulate as if she thinks he’s taken one too many blows to the head, “Fuck them both.”  He blinks at her and she clarifies, like she thinks he might have misheard her, “I am telling you to have sex with the king and his wife.”

• Far be it from Poe of all people to disregard the advice of the Lady of the Lake.