maelace:

littlestartopaz:

radioactivepeasant:

wetwareproblem:

signed-me-again:

littlepinkbeast:

littlepinkbeast:

nehirose:

animatedamerican:

dialmformara:

agitatedtortoise:

animatedamerican:

so tonight I’m at synagogue, listening to the Purim Night reading of the Book of Esther, like you do

and near the end of this chapter my brain presents me with the following:

nooooo ooooone plots like Haman
calls the shots like Haman
plans a genocide by casting lots like Haman

(It only works with the Hebrew pronunciation of Haman, which, like Gaston, is accented on the second syllable.)

By the time we get home my brain has added:

for there’s none so well-favored and kingly
yes, we all can be certain of that
he’s so rich that his pockets are jingly
and he looks really sharp in a three-cornered hat

*face in hands*

Petition to sing this every year at Purim.

I shared this with my dad, and he added:

No one’s spruce as Haman,
Nor abstruse as Haman;
No one’s half as good tying a noose as Haman!
He’ll use gallows in all of his decorating!
No one else hangs as well as Haman!

niiiiice

i know several people who will definitely appreciate this.

this is beautiful

oh wait

When I was a lad I hatched four dozen plots
Every morning, to raise myself high…
And now that I’m grown I hatch five dozen plots
So all those who oppose me shall die!

@wetwareproblem

@smallswingshoes

This is the most brilliant thing I’ve read today

@words-writ-in-starlight

Okay, in a supreme effort to avoid something I should be doing, I’ve got all but three verses, I think (I started with the above, so credit where it is due, of course).

Gosh it enthralls me to see you Haman,
Looking so hated and hung.
Every guy here’d love to see you Haman,
On your petard being strung.
There’s none in Torah half the villain as you,
You’re everyone’s favorite brute.
Everyone loves to shake groggers at you,
there’s no one of such ill repute.

No one plots like Haman
Calls the shots like Haman
Plans a genocide by casting lots like Haman
For there’s none so well-favored and kingly
yes, we all can be certain of that
he’s so rich that his pockets are jingly
and he looks really sharp in a three-cornered hat.

No one’s told like Haman
Schooled the king like Haman
No one’s got a swell hat with three pins like Haman
As a specimen yes he’s intimidating.
My what a guy, that Haman!
Give five loud “boos!” And a great “hiss-hiss!”
Haman’s in the ground and we Jews drink to this!

When I was a lad I hatched four dozen plots
Every morning, to raise myself high…
And now that I’m grown I hatch five dozen plots
So all those who oppose me shall die!

No one’s spruce as Haman,
Nor abstruse as Haman;
No one’s half as good tying a noose as Haman!
He’ll use gallows in all of his decorating!
No one else hangs as well as Haman

Tags: GOOD Purim laugh rule