- Literally just from the first scene between
Escalus and his father discussing Rosaline I can tell you right off the bat
that I care 100x more about this politically fraught disaster of a relationship
than whatever tense affair they’re trying to arrange with Rosaline/Benvolio. Like, give me a relationship between two
people who genuinely love each other but are trying to deny it and betraying
each other because it’s the Right Thing To Do and doing massive amounts of
damage to each other in the process, and I will immediately and unhesitatingly
shove it into my awful maw with no regard for what canon tells me.
- Rosaline being forced to live in the room of her
best friend who died for love while being forced into a marriage by the man Rosaline loves who also loves her
is kind of great to me? What if I wrote
a bunch of miscellaneous bullshit about Rosaline being haunted by Juliet?
- I do not
care that much about Benvolio. Like, he’s
had a Rough Life™ and he Drinks And Sleeps Around and like…yeah, poor dude. Even though his carefully calculated descent
into artistic nerdhood endeared me to him for a hot second. Still don’t care. Maybe shove some backstory in there, throw in
some flashbacks, hit me with that gay Mercutio/Benvolio shit, ANYTHING to give
him a personality beyond ‘angry rich boy.’
Anyway. Moving right along.
- “You make it sound like our noble lords are a
pack of dogs in the street.” …um, Escalus honey, they kind of are. There was a riot literally under thirty-six
hours ago.
- I’m getting a lot of satisfaction out of
Isabella pulling the strings behind the scenes for selfish reasons—getting Rosaline
back as a friend, keeping her brother in power, retaining as much power as she can
for herself—as well as Protecting Her Home.
Also all of her clothes are real good.
- Medical history aside: hey, look, boiling
oil. A+ historical accuracy, Paré’s
replacement for boiling oil only barely predated this and it’s entirely
possible for Livia to have learned that from her solider father. I’d also like to point out that this was not
standard procedure for sword wounds, as it was used to combat the supposed ‘poison’
of gunpowder, so like? Yeah, the nurse
being horrified is also totally feasible.
- ….I’m so pleased with Escalus for stabbing someone’s
hand, atta boy, but on the other hand I was really hoping for another
knock-down drag-out brawl at a serious formal occasion. Like, why else am I even here.
- The way Rosaline spits Your Grace like her tongue is made of steel and her words are made
of poison is my life’s blood. Also
please have this become Escalus and Benvolio and Rosaline (and Isabella) all
having horribly tense meetings where they scramble to come up with a plan that
keeps Verona at peace without forcing anyone to get married. I just need a scene of all of them at each
other’s throats as they struggle to find a détente, with Rosaline throwing ice
cold cutting remarks left and right as Escalus fights to keep an even keel and
Benvolio is just generally an asshole (and Isabella cutting through the chaos
like a finely drawn blade with a plan that is terrible and awful and perfect).
- ESCALUS, COMMIT TO SOMETHING. MAKE A DECISION ESCALUS. Something besides this sort of dangerously totalitarian
‘death for a death’ rule because, MY DUDE, you gotta at least give them a
trial.
- Why am I still liveblogging this terrible
show? Why do I still love it so
much? It’s so bad and I’m enjoying the
literal hell out of it, guys, I don’t even know anymore.
