marmolita:

I love how it’s basically a plot point on The Borgias that everyone wants to bang Cesare and he’s got a reputation for being good in bed.

(via wildehacked)

wildehacked:

leupagus

replied to your

post

:

me: *writing cesare/lucrezia fic* hey, there’s a…

wait why can’t they have a threesome in canon

The emotional math, gus! The figures! Like, Micheletto could very easily fall platonically into a terrifying devotion to Lucrezia that eventually turns sexual, but it would be very hard for him to get swept up in that while also falling into a terrifying tenderness with [redacted so I don’t spoil @marmolita or @words-writ-in-starlight or the anons who have told me I have conned them into starting the show] while ALSO being in terrifying terrible love with Cesare. And then Lucrezia herself would have to meet Micheletto’s very complex and overwhelming romantic calculus at the exact right moment–and balancing the scales between her guilt over [redacted] and her terrifying terrible love for her brother WITH her new marriage for enough of an emotional breath that she could possibly entertain bringing her brother’s manservant into her incestuous affair would be a feat in and of itself. 

(Cesare would obviously be down. Cesare is not the problem.)

and then there’s the TIMING to consider. There are BREAKUPS, and it’s hard to stage a threesome in the middle of a devastating you-killed-so-and-so-and-dammit-I’ve-got-to-leave-you breakup. 

the math just doesn’t work out.  

Things I am into in Episode 9 of the Borgias:

  • The sheer amount of scheming that everyone is managing to fit into individual letters here
  • Cesare and Lucrezia
  • This also covers the previous episode, but Lucrezia Borgia and Giulia Farnese, CEO and COO of Badass Ladies In Elaborately Elegant Dresses Incorporated (aka BLEED Inc)
  • Cesare and Sister Martha (I am SO PROUD of them for making the obvious Abelard and Heloise reference by the by)
  • Their gleeful advantage-taking of the fact that this particular French king was called Charles the Affable which is hilarious to me
  • Watching Cesare needle Della Rovere
  • Micheletto’s line “Then I am servant to a hostage, Your Eminence” I AM DEAD
  • Cesare and Micheletto going off to Deal with ungallant husbands (which is my new favorite descriptor for asshole dudes, ‘ungallant,’ I’m using that)
  • Edit: EVERYONE IN THIS WEIRD FUCKED UP LITTLE FAMILY UNIT HUDDLED AROUND LUCREZIA AND HER NEW BABY, I’M FUCKING WEAK

So I’m all of four episodes into Borgias, and I’ve got an important question.

WHERE is my fic taking ruthless advantage of Cesare’s need for power and Micheletto’s utter loyalty?  With the two of them having sex with deeply fucked-up power dynamics and probably a lot of unnerving knife imagery?  About how Micheletto goes to his knees and does what Cesare commands because Cesare in his rich robes and wolf-smile is all the God Micheletto needs or wants, and about how Cesare knows that Micheletto could kill him in a heartbeat and would still place a straight razor in Micheletto’s hand and offer up his throat to be shaved with absolute knowledge that Micheletto won’t even nick the skin?  About how Cesare could put a knife to Micheletto’s chest and Micheletto wouldn’t even flinch?

WHERE IS IT.

words-writ-in-starlight asked: I am ONE AND A HALF EPISODES into Borgias and that scene where Micheletto hands Cesare a whip and orders him to torture him is so??? Do I ship this? Is this a thing I ship? "So whip me, My Lord" I? This show was such a quality rec on your part, I love it.

wildehacked:

OH FUCK I KNOW. 

The way he SAYS it, too, 70% matter of fact, 30% You Can Do Anything You Want To Me, Literally Anything, Do It, I Dare You. 

ALSO THE WAY THEY BOTH PANT WHILE STICKING KNIVES IN EACH OTHER’S THROATS AND THE WAY CESARE IS JUST GRINNING HUGE AND SAVAGELY DELIGHTED THE WHOLE TIME AND THEN HE’S LIKE ‘I COULD USE SOMEONE THAT FAST’ AND MICHELETTO’S LIKE 'YOU COULD?’ AND THEN CESARE GIVES THIS SHAKY TURNED ON GASP HALFWAY THROUGH REPLYING 'OH YEAH’ SO IT’S LITERALLY THIS BREATHLESS 'OHHHH-HHHH-H YEAH’ I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. SO MUCH.

THERE’S NO PART OF THIS SCENE THAT ISN’T MY WHOLE LIFE.

wildehacked:
“ dimir-charmer:
“ wildehacked:
“seriously look at this shit
”
Hey, sorry, but I just have to highlight this tag because
“#it’s….not the most erotic attempted assassination scene in the show
”
what the hell is this show
”
IT IS ON...

wildehacked:

dimir-charmer:

wildehacked:

seriously look at this shit 

Hey, sorry, but I just have to highlight this tag because

#it’s….not the most erotic attempted assassination scene in the show

what the hell is this show

IT IS ON NETFLIX, IS WHAT IT IS

I’m having delusions of singlehandedly reviving the fandom …..specifically so someone ELSE will write me the cesare/micheletto porn the world needs

I WOULD BE WILLING TO HELP YOU REVIVE THE FANDOM

(via wildehacked)