useless ancient roman law facts

thoodleoo:

okapiandpaste:

ancient-rome-au:

thoodleoo:

  • if you call someone to witness and they refused to show up, you are legally entitled to stand outside their house and scream, but only every third day
  • you can sell your son into slavery once or twice, but after the third time he doesn’t have to put up with that shit anymore
  • no wailing allowed at funerals
  • also you can only have ONE funeral per person, don’t get greedy
  • if your neighbor’s tree has a branch hanging into your yard, you can legally cut down the entire fucking tree
  • however, if some of your neighbor’s fruit from his dumb tree falls into your yard, he can legally come into your yard to snoop around get it
  • if you call someone to witness and they’re too sick or old to get to court themselves, you have to provide a cart for them to come in, but it doesn’t have to be, like, a nice cart if you don’t want it to

With the exception of the second one, I wouldn’t change any of these. They’re already perfect.

Confused about the 3rd one bc there’s literally a Latin verb for wailing and beating your chest out of grief, which I explicitly remember seeing in several funeral scenes.

However, I’ve only heard that word to describe the professional wailers (yes, they had those) hired at funerals.

So if that’s true that means people couldn’t wail so they hired outsiders to do it instead. Can’t believe we killed the wailing market. 

a lot of people have actually been confused about this point so i’ll go ahead and explain it!

the law against wailing (as well as lacerating yourself) at a funeral falls kind of into the category of sumptuary laws- not exactly, because that’s a specific term, but it’s the same concept of preventing excess. there are several laws designed to prevent people from getting too extravagant with their funerals.

the thing is, you have to keep two things in mind when looking at the twelve tables. the first is, we aren’t exactly sure of the extent to which some of these laws were actually enforced. some of them entail pretty brutal punishments that we don’t think were necessarily carried out; for example, if a patrician was condemned to death, there was frequently enough time allowed for him to quickly pack up and go into exile. so while technically the twelve tables don’t allow hugely extravagant funerals, we know that people didn’t really heed that, especially in the case of public heroes.

the second thing is that these laws are really, really old, and not all of them stick around. probably the most famous example is that the law prohibiting marriage between plebeians and patricians was repealed after only a few years by the lex canuleia.

so yes, the twelve tables does outlaw excessive funerary practices, including wailing. but does that mean that anybody listened to that or that it remained a law? not at all.

dubiousculturalartifact:
“ professorsparklepants:
“ rcmclachlan:
“ justanxietythings:
“what’s up this is my band Comma Overload
”
We’re Em Dash Hell and we’ll be here all night!
”
I’m Run-on Sentence, here tonight with Not Enough Pronouns! Make some...

dubiousculturalartifact:

professorsparklepants:

rcmclachlan:

justanxietythings:

what’s up this is my band Comma Overload

We’re Em Dash Hell and we’ll be here all night!

I’m Run-on Sentence, here tonight with Not Enough Pronouns! Make some noise!

Begun But Never Finished

I’ll be finishing the night with Sure Can Tell I Took Latin and my weird obsession with three-word descriptive phrases.

aethersea:

inkchantments:

baeronism:

this quiz tells you what your homeric epithet would be and well, isn’t this the question that keeps us all up at night? feel free to reblog and put your epithet in the tags, mine is bright-eyed

#earth-moving

DELIGHTING IN THUNDER

(Source: baeronism)

justbadpuns:

A crossover between King Midas and King Oedipus would be pure motherfucking gold

(Source: justbadpuns, via justbadpuns)

Anonymous asked: Sarah, I just managed to hunt down the Confessio for the first time since I had to stop taking Latin (my Latin teacher taught us the twelfth stanza as a drinking song to improve our frankly tragic pronunciation and I LOVED IT) and I'm just incredibly thrilled about it and I want someone to understand why I'm so pleased about hunting down some random Latin poem so I'm telling you.

thoodleoo:

that’s such a good feeling, i’m proud of and happy for you

factsinallcaps:

factsinallcaps:

ROMAN SENATOR CATO THE ELDER FAMOUSLY ENDED ALMOST EVERY SPEECH WITH THE PHRASE “CARTHAGO DELENDA EST,” OR “CARTHAGE MUST BE DESTROYED.”

IT WAS HIS BELIEF THAT THE ONLY WAY TO ENSURE ROMAN SECURITY WAS TO COMPLETELY ANNIHILATE THE CITY OF CARTHAGE. THE ABSURD PART, HOWEVER, WAS THAT CATO EVEN USED THIS PHRASE TO CONCLUDE SPEECHES THAT HAD ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH CARTHAGE WHATSOEVER.

HE WOULD MAKE A SPEECH ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE COMPLETELY AND END IT WITH “ALSO, IT IS MY OPINION THAT CARTHAGE MUST BE DESTROYED.”

FOR THOSE KEEPING SCORE AT HOME, THE ROMANS WOULD EVENTUALLY RAZE CARTHAGE, SALT THE EARTH IT STOOD ON TO PREVENT ANYONE FROM REBUILDING, AND ENSLAVE THE ENTIRE POPULATION, BECAUSE THE ROMANS WERE APPARENTLY NEVER LOWKEY ABOUT ANYTHING

JUST AS A QUICK ASIDE WHEN I GOT TAUGHT THIS IN MY ANCIENT ROMANS CLASS, NINE PEOPLE INCLUDING MYSELF ENDED UP CONCLUDING OUR ESSAY ON THE NEXT TEST WITH THIS PHRASE, WHICH MY PROFESSOR COMMENTED ON TO THE WHOLE CLASS

ALTHOUGH SHE ALSO GAVE THE WHOLE CLASS A WARNING ABOUT USING FORMAL LANGUAGE IN ACADEMIC ESSAYS BECAUSE ONE STUDENT WHO SHE WOULD NOT NAME (IT WAS ME) REFERRED TO JULIUS CAESAR AS “A DICK.”

(via factsinallcaps)

books for ancient roman children

thoodleoo:

  • oh, the places you’ll conquer!
  • where the wild things are: persia and other barbaric realms 
  • cerberus, the big black three-headed hell-dog
  • black beauty and other famous politicans
  • alexander the great and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day: a story about hephaestion
  • don’t let the sacred chickens steer the ship!
  • the little cohort that could: stories of military might that you will be expected to reproduce at the appropriate age
  • is your mama a llama? and other stories about zeus

(via aethersea)

(Source: thoodleoo)

teashoesandhair:

hippocleides:

nonchalant-triceratops:

poseyslegtattoo:

the-obtrusive-boat:

roManCE? aCHileelleS anD PaTrCOlUS ArE GAy?? NOoo AlWayS HeTeRO AnCIEnT GREeks VErY StRAIghT iLIAd HAs No GAy

I’m sorry but didn’t Plato once write an analysis on why Achilles was the bottom in the relationship?

Didn’t the Greek city of Thebes have an elite band entirely comprised of same-sex couples?

Didn’t Spartan men casually sleep together so much that new brides were encouraged to cut their hair in order to ease soldiers into heterosexuality?

Didn’t the Diogenes of Sinope, one of the founder of Cynicism, accuse Alexander the Great of being “ruled by Hephaestion’s thighs”?

Didn’t Aristotle describe Alexander and Hephaestion’s relationship as “two souls in one body”?

NOPE N O T H I N G BUT H  E  T  E   R O  S IN GREECE.

This isn’t even up for debate tho Greece LITTERALY has a patron god of homosexuality

and let’s not forget Priapus (he’s not gay i just really wanted to mention him)

Does it mean nothing to you, the unblemished thighs I worshipped and the showers of kisses you had from me? - Achilles as he mourns the death of Patroclus in Myrmidons, the lost trilogy by Aeschylus (tr. Tom Stoppard)

Pretty hard to read a ‘no homo’ slant into that, really. Just two bros, kissing and admiring each other’s thighs. Y’know. Guy stuff.

(Source: dionysiusi, via galangrants)

  • <p> patroclus: achilles, you're the closest friend i've got
  • achilles: patroclus, do not throw away your shot</p>