Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

diehellarache:

official-german-translationen:

Salvete, Gaius Iuli'us Caesar sum et pilorum album quam nivem habeo et aureos, sed interdum virides lauros et imperium Romanum construxi et eius eram quasi primus Caesar (sic merui nomen meum) et multi indicant mihi me Marcus Crassus similem esse (si non scitis Marcus Crassus, vobis opus est pecunia). Brutus non est filius meus quod est bonum nam ET TU, MI FILI???!?. Iamia sum sed dentes albos et rectos habeo. Pallidam cutem habeo. Etiam, maga sum magicum ludum, nomine Pigverruca, visitans quod desinam (ego sum MMCXIV), veni, vidi, vici. Classicus sum (si vos id non suspexistis) et multas togas emptas in Basilica Iulia habeo. Ratio amo et bellum Gallicum gero. Veluti, hodie omnia Gallia occupata. Omnia Gallia? Certe! Non est vicus parvus inter Aquarium, Babaorum, Laudanum et Brevisbonum. Ambulabam foris Pigverruca. Ninxit et pluvit et Gallia divisa erat in partes tres, quod me fecit felix. Marcus Porcius Cato me observavit. Digitum medium illo monstravi.

#I hate that I know what this is

(via galangrants)

thoodleoo:

at this point there are only a select few pieces of discourse about ancient greece and rome that i will tolerate:

• did achilles bottom or was it patroclus (i stand by plato’s decision because achilles is definitely a power bottom)
  
• how many “slutty” women was mark antony more of a slut than (the answer: all of them)
• if alexander the great wrote iliad fanfic would it be self-insert or would it straight up be patrochilles shipping
• instead of discourse about whether or not sappho liked women, discourse about how many fragments we can possibly construe to be extremely gay (it’s a lot, if you’re creative)
• Which Roman Poet Was The Biggest Greek Poetry Fanboy
• the scholarly implications of the fact that the infamous fanfic my immortal bears a striking resemblance to homeric epic

(via galangrants)