The only way I’ll accept the hydracap story line to play out is:
Steve’s busy being a nazi when Bucky goes to check on him and bucky’s like “wtf the fuck”
So he’s like “steve no” and steve’s like “steve yes” and Bucky’s like “that’s only funny when you’re a good guy doing reckless things and not a NAZI doing NAZI THINGS” and steve’s like “(ง'̀-‘́)ง” because he’s a dick now
but Bucky can win this
because Bucky’s got a secret weapon
an assassin you know and love who’s unafraid to step in
he’s constantly confusing, confounding the marvel henchmen
EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA’S FAVOURITE FIGHTING TRASH CAN
Deadpool
so he goes to deadpool like “you know that thing you do where you break the fourth wall or w/e” and deadpool’s like “yeah?”
“can i use it for a bit?”
so they go off and fight the marvel writers (with swords) and then destroy the new issues (with fire) and then they go to see steve and steve hugs them all and he’s crying and thanking them for saving his characterisation
and then they go out for ice cream or something
Okay this is all A+ but I’m reblogging for AMERICAS FAVORITE FIGHTING TRASH CAN
This is it. This is literally the ONLY way I would ever accept this.
When I first saw Deadpool on Valentine’s Day with my civilian partner, I remember leaving the theater on cloud nine, sure that my relationship could withstand anything. The movie made me feel like my job was not an obstacle to be overcome by romantic interests but a core part of me that could be embraced. I remember thinking that Morena Baccarin never had to go back to Joss Whedon to play a laterally whorephobic space courtesan because this film had allowed her to play an amazing sex worker.
…Baccarin as Vanessa is awesome and her relationship with the titular hero is everything I have ever wanted from a story about a guy dating a sex worker. And it also represented everything that I wanted from being dated as one, with the addition of bad guys, bullets, and the breaking of the fourth wall.
…Wade thinks this woman is hot and if paying is what he needs to do to spend time with her, he will. He respects her job. He doesn’t haggle. He’s kind of a douchebag, but Vanessa seems to respond well to that. At no point is there any indication that Vanessa quits her job in order to date Wade, though she does seem to stop doing full service work after he leaves. Wade makes Vanessa happy and she is the one who decides to upgrade him from client to partner. He makes his own good money so he never mooches off of hers. And she is shown to make good money, free styling in a mercenary bar, so she also doesn’t need his. Their relationship isn’t about dependence on either side, but rather seems to be based on dark humor and some really amazing sex.
…[A]fter being tortured, mutated, and disfigured by the bad guys Wade goes looking for her. Nearly dying for real and then gaining some sweet healing powers has him knowing he can go back to her. It’s all going to be okay.
Except for the disfigurement. Some strangers on the street stare at him and Wade shells up. He lets Vanessa go, convinced his looks are the only thing he has to offer her. Wade’s whole thing of killing people to get to the head bad guy isn’t just about revenge for his torture. It’s to force the head bad guy to fix his face so his girlfriend will love him again.
This entire movie is about a guy trying to be hot enough for his fiancée.
Which is one of the more progressive things it does. On the surface, this seems to demonstrate that he thinks his sex worker girlfriend is shallow. But on a deeper level, this is an action hero expressing a deep sense of insecurity. Wade honestly thinks that without his good looks he’s not worthy of a woman like Vanessa. It’s an extension of him not wanting her to see him go through cancer because that would not only rob him of his looks but also his virility and physical capabilities. It’s not just that she would watch him die, she’d watch him be weak. And when you’ve got a girlfriend who is already the strong one, who holds her own against career killers and takes charge of fighting your cancer? Well, that might make you feel like you constantly need to impress her.
The patriarchy really can fuck with men too, and it has fucked Wade hard.
And the woman Wade really wants to impress? Whom he loves more than anything? She just happens to have sex for a living. It’s not a big deal in the script and that’s why this is such a big deal. Because Vanessa’s job is a vehicle for them meeting, but it’s not her whole character. Vanessa is tough, resourceful, funny, caring, and so many other things in this film before she is her job. But because she’s introduced through her job there’s no denying that this amazing woman is a sex worker. There’s no Breakfast at Tiffany’s vagueness on the subject here. If you like Vanessa, then you like a sex worker. And if you want to be friends with Deadpool, you gotta be chill with his girlfriend being a sex worker.
Okay you know what I want for the Deadpool sequel, even more than Wade getting a boyfriend?
Wade getting an ex-boyfriend.
Somebody with whom Wade has History with a Captial H. The boyfriend he dated on and off for four years, who then vanished with no explanation. Maybe he left for Wade’s protection, but Wade doesn’t know that and thinks he was just a fucking asshole.
Vanessa knows about this guy. Not any real details, just that they were serious before he broke Wade’s heart. Vanessa doesn’t know the ex-boyfriend’s real name because Wade only refers to him via expletives, so she mentally refers to him as The Touchy Subject.
The ex-boyfriend’s name should probably be Logan, since there are already so many references within the movie canon (and Wolverine is bi in the comics) but I’m not picky.
.
See, now here’s what I don’t want.
I don’t want the franchise saying, “Well Wade was joking before with the gay stuff. But now it’s different. He’s journeyed down a path of self discovery and come out the other side open to new sexual horizons.”
I don’t want a ~coming out~ story.
I want a 8===D~~~Wade has obviously been out this whole entire time weren’t you paying attention?!~~~Ⴇ===8 story.
.
I mean think about it.
With a movie franchise this big, it could be a gamechanger.
If Deadpool does it, other franchises will no longer be able to justify not doing it.
If the Deadpool tells audiences once and for all, definitively, “We were never joking, and we don’t understand why you would even assume we were joking, unless you were some kind of homophobic asshole who thinks being pansexual is a joke” than every single popular queerbait fuckboy id fantasy franchise is gonna have to fucking put up or shut up.
one of the many things I super love about Deadpool is that they treat negasonic teenage warhead like a teenager, sure she has awesome as fuck superpowers but she doesn’t have any sort of romantic hints, she isn’t irresponsible with her powers, she has a guardian with her when she does her (awesome) dangerous shit, she is most definitly not treated like a child, but she is also not treated like an adult, she has a responsible guardian with her when necessary who even tries to feed her protein bars, I think that hollywood tends to forget that there is an in between stage, that teenagers do exist and need to be represented as something other than unrealistically mature or unrealistically immature
When I see folks didn’t like Deadpool, I’m like whatever. People like different things. I don’t even like Deadpool as a character but the movie was dope. Anyway, if you didn’t like it because it was short or it felt cheap and underdeveloped, that’s because it was. It was kinda set up to fail.
They were given the greenlight the way an impatient parent says ‘fine you can have a dog but if it pisses on the rug, I’m gonna shoot it.’ They had less than a year to complete the movie and were given a budget of 58 million when the average superhero movie budget is between $150-250 million. AND Fox had the nerve to take money out of the budget so they had to write around the money. So Deadpool only having a few bullets? Budget. Forgetting his guns in the car so he can’t use them in the final fight? Budget. Only 2 low profile X-men around, one of which had never been seen before? Budget.
And they still managed to make crazy amounts of money and break all kinds of records. I just feel like it’s worth knowing whether you like it or not because I ended up liking the movie a lot more after knowing what they were working against. Deadpool is like the indie movie of this superhero shit
Hey guys look at this damn film nerd
Look at this film nerd pointing out this massive SUCCESS STORY.
Bonus points for Deadpool making massive amounts of money despite being released in a fucking DEADZONE and being rated R.
An R rating automatically limits the audience, so it was basically kneecapped from the get-go because fewer people would even be able to see it. Releasing the movie in fucking February was a damn near deliberate attempt on its life. February is where movies go to die, ok, even the cheesy date movies don’t always make it out alive.
They didn’t want this movie made in the first place, greenlit it to stop the nagging, gave it a ridiculously tiny budget and then CUT IT DOWN EVEN MORE later on forcing several very hurried bits of rewriting (this is where a few extra digs at the studio were added, because they fucking deserved it), tried to argue against an R rating and when that failed, they tried to kill it by dumping it in the fucking release date graveyard.
And it still made ridiculous amounts of money. That’s like winning the Kentucky Derby on a 3-legged donkey; “Massive success” is a bit of an understatement.
That’s like winning the Kentucky Derby on a 3-legged donkey–how I think Deadpool would want it, tbqh.
I’m so proud of this movie that I had absolutely nothing to do with other than going to see it…a lot.
The only way I’ll accept the hydracap story line to play out is:
Steve’s busy being a nazi when Bucky goes to check on him and bucky’s like “wtf the fuck”
So he’s like “steve no” and steve’s like “steve yes” and Bucky’s like “that’s only funny when you’re a good guy doing reckless things and not a NAZI doing NAZI THINGS” and steve’s like “(ง'̀-‘́)ง” because he’s a dick now
but Bucky can win this
because Bucky’s got a secret weapon
an assassin you know and love who’s unafraid to step in
he’s constantly confusing, confounding the marvel henchmen
EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA’S FAVOURITE FIGHTING TRASH CAN
Deadpool
so he goes to deadpool like “you know that thing you do where you break the fourth wall or w/e” and deadpool’s like “yeah?”
“can i use it for a bit?”
so they go off and fight the marvel writers (with swords) and then destroy the new issues (with fire) and then they go to see steve and steve hugs them all and he’s crying and thanking them for saving his characterisation
okay but imagine if wade made it into an mcu movie and removed the lower part of his mask so clint could understand like he does in the comics and tries fingerspelling something at some point and clint is like “sorry man i never learned sign language” and wade just is so confused and pulls out a hawkeye comic and rifles through it and just looks up like “those motherfuckers”
Deadpool: brings a teenager with superpowers to help him in a fight
Tumblr: DEADPOOL!!. I love the interactions between negasonic teenage warhead and deadpool. Omg so cute. *billions of fanart*
Tony Stark: Literally does the same thing when his friends abandon him. Sends him home as soon as he sees a probability that he’d get hurt.
Tumblr: tony stark is a villian ™. I can’t believe he used peter as a child soldier :) :)
negasonic teenage warhead literally had training??????
she lives in a house that gets blown up every year by super villains???? she has been exposed to fighting and knows how to fight and is trained to fight???????? she is trained to defend herself in a way that is NOT winging it???? she attends Xavier’s School for Talented Youngsters????? where she learns about herself and how her abilities work and how to use them?
peter parker is literally a high school kid winging shit and is underhandedly BLACKMAILED into joining whereas in Deadpool, Wade literally just shows up and says “hey i need to go get the bad guy you let go” which yes is a bit of a guilt trip but literally that was the extent of his pressure.
What Tony does is throw a bunch of money at a kid who has NOTHING. N O T H I N G. This kid is dumpster diving for his electronics. Of course Peter’s going to feel indebted. Of course he’s going to feel OBLIGATED to join Stark. And Stark is a famous person. He is a famous person and Peter Parker is star-struck. Wade? Wade is an asshole. There’s no obligation in Wade telling Negasonic to suit up, she could have easily slammed the door in his face. There is an obligation in Tony’s demand. There is an abuse of power here.
Also, there is no question that Ajax is a bad guy. Ajax is just all around a horrible, evil man. The situation of Civil War is complex and Tony gave Peter NO CONTEXT for what was going on, did not explain Steve’s situation, just said “Steve Rogers thinks he’s right and that makes him dangerous”. If you are going to be dragging a kid into a war, you need to give him a CHOICE. you need to give him CONTEXT. You need to let him have all the variables before he can decide to risk his life for Tony Stark’s agenda.
And also??? Tony literally threatened to tell Aunt May about his Spider-Man activities if he didn’t suit up with them and go to Berlin? Peter’s first reaction to being told he’s going to Berlin - not asked, told - is to say completely seriously that he has homework. YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE WHERE THIS KID’S PRIORITIES AND WORLD VIEW ARE AT. HE IS FIFTEEN.
Negasonic Teenage Warhead? She is literally an X-Man who is trained in managing and using her abilities, and yes she is an amateur, but she was making free will/unbiased decisions the entire time.
so to wrap up, FUCK THIS COMPARISON. TONY STARK BEHAVED OUT OF LINE. HE PRETTY MUCH FANCILY, WHITE-COLLAR PRESS-GANGED A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD KID INTO A WAR THAT COULD HAVE GOTTEN HIM KILLED. AND SURE HE SENT HIM HOME WHEN HE WAS DONE, BUT THAT IS TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE.
fuck this.
Potential X-Men have to train EXTENSIVELY before they’re allowed in the field. There’s a battle simulator in the mansion. They have a support system, access to free medical and psychological care, are allowed to take time off if they need it.
Peter Parker had none of that.
ALSO Negasonic was accompanied by Colossus, aka adult supervision who okay’d her going into the field, who has knowledge of her skills and power set, and was able to make a judgement call on whether or not the situation would be too dangerous.
ALSO ALSO if WADE WILSON is a point of moral comparison for your character then you’ve already lost. If you can compare Tony Stark and Deadpool in a discussion about who was more wrong and it’s even a question, then the answer doesn’t really matter.
