professordiggsy:
dicksweredinner:
2srooky:
nomercymedic:
My favorite thing about Dungeons & Dragons is how fucking quickly people become ride-or-die bitches with each other
no lie i had a campaign where I tried playing a really chaotic neutral “leave me alone” rouge and ended up attached at the hip to our monk who couldn’t roll higher than a natural 10 to literally save his life bc in our first encounter he called my character “a nice lass” and that was all it took
Once made a tinker type halfling and realized that it was actually a really terrible idea since 1) nobody else in the party was mechanical and 2) there weren’t really any weapons that depended on my character’s skills to use. So he was basically a tiny little short dude who was really good at fixing watches, making and throwing alchemist fires and creating warmachines (if he had the time). We also used a homebrew point system where if you crippled your character you could get more points to spend on other things - so poor little Halfling tinkerer had two leg braces, moved at half the speed of everyone else, had an addiction to smoking/chewing tobacco/alcohol and didn’t have the eyesight to use long range weapons/rifles.
He was useless in the current team comp of Elf Sorcerer/Wizard, Human Fighter and Dwarf Cleric of sorts.
Until someone joined and rolled a Warforged. They were inseparable, to the point where I put points in ride and got the DM to give us a little custom harness/saddle so my character could hitch a ride. The Warforged wanted to discover why it was created and what it meant to exist; the Halfling wanted to create something close to the deathstar.
Imagine this - you’re a shitty villain waiting for the heroes to arrive. You know three of them are generic elf/human/dwarf combo with magic, and the fourth is a shitty little halfling, when suddenly a Warforged comes charging through the goddamn wall (John Cena style) with a Halfling riding him like Mother Fucking Mad Max Master Blaster. The Warforged is a monk throwing Str 20+ punches with the fury of his machine god behind his fists while his tiny crippled buddy, who repairs him in exchange for a ride/protection, is suspended in a child’s carrying harness throwing alchemist fire with one hand and shooting off a revolver with the other.
Death comes for you, and it’s in a baby carrier on 7′ of fist.
This is the kind of shit I’m here for.
(Source: lesbiantsu, via littlestartopaz)
2srooky:
nomercymedic:
My favorite thing about Dungeons & Dragons is how fucking quickly people become ride-or-die bitches with each other
no lie i had a campaign where I tried playing a really chaotic neutral “leave me alone” rouge and ended up attached at the hip to our monk who couldn’t roll higher than a natural 10 to literally save his life bc in our first encounter he called my character “a nice lass” and that was all it took
(Source: lesbiantsu, via clockwork-mockingbird)
theactorsjourney:
runecestershire:
exeunt-pursued-by-a-bear:
spacecaptainoftheforest:
concept: a retelling of hamlet with the frame story that it’s a tabletop rpg being played by a bunch of overzealous college kids and an increasingly frazzled dm trying to keep them all from rushing headlong into situations and dying immediately. horatio is the dm’s vaguely self-insert npc character. thanks
“AND THEN HE GETS KIDNAPPED BY PIRATES”
“um…dude…you can’t just–”
“PIRATES”
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are played by the same player, who keeps forgetting that he’s running two separate characters.
“The ghost awaits a response”
“Horatio, you went to college, you talk to it.”
—–
“You find the skull of the old court jester.”
“I’m going to talk to it until someone stops me.”
“Horatio, you went to college, you stop him.”
—–
“I stab the curtain!”
“Polonius, roll for fortitude.”
——
“I search for a nunnery in the moat”
*sigh* “Seaweed wraps around your leg. Roll for dexterity escape”
—–
“We all drink to Hamlet’s victory.”
“Everyone roll for fortitude.”
*groans amid the sound of rolling dice*
—–
“Sorry I’m late, everyone. Can my Prince of Finland character just show up?”
“Everyone’s already dead.”
“For fuck’s sake, guys!”
(Source: kentuckycorpsereviver, via the-hogfather)
ugin-the-spirit-dragon:
animar-smol-of-elephants:
chandra-nyalaar:
my favorite d&d thing is when someone flubs like a really obvious perception roll or something and the dm gets to be like, “well, you’re pretty sure you’re in a room but you could be wrong”
it is either really wet or really dry, you’re not entirely sure
One time a guy in our party rolled a nat 20 on a perception check, but there was nothing around he didnt already see, so the DM said “You’re not quite sure, but for a few seconds it seems like you’re standing on a giant’s table, surrounded by 5 Giants. Your party seems to look stiff and fake, and Large papers and Dice are strewn around you. Then, everything goes back to normal.”
(Source: poppy-pipopapo, via failedfinals)
