Alphonse teaches independence and stranger danger
(Source: best-of-memes, via clockwork-mockingbird)
Anonymous asked: Since we see several alchemists in FMA have alchemy arrays and symbols tattooed on them I don’t think it’s too unlikely that tattoo shops in Amestris would advertise their services by saying they can do alchemy tattoos. And this made me think, what if there’s a thing in Amestris where people who aren’t alchemists get alchemy tattoos the same way people in our world get tattoos of words in a language they don’t speak. (1/2)
(2/2) Some guy gets a tattoo of a random array and tells people its what the Flame Alchemist uses to make fire when it actually makes dirt take the shape of a square or something. Anyone who actually knows anything about alchemy brings their own array for the tattoo artist to use as reference.
EXCELLENT IM SCREAMING
Even better when some of these nonsense formations get super popular and everyone’s buying gear with it. (Which the alchemists don’t stop because people walking around with bullshit alchemic arrays are really no harm)
Except one day when Mustang’s walking through the streets of Central, some teen decked out in nonsense alchemy tattoos stops him like
Kid: “Cool Flame Alchemist costume, but your flame salamander is on the wrong side.”
Mustang: *pointing aggressively to his glove* “The flame salamander is not on the wrong side!”#people accuse Edward of being some kinda fake alchemy enthusiast #because he’s not covered in tattoos #Ed always responds by going through the accuser’s every tattoo #in extreme detai l#pointing out what’s sloppy/wrong/bullshit about it #the tattoo removal store in Central loves Edward #never have they had such booming business #until the short angry alchemist freak #started sending hoards of ashamed amateurs covered in bullshit alchemy tattoos to their door (via)
Alphonse teaches independence and stranger danger
(Source: best-of-memes, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
I learned three VERY important things from Fullmetal Alchemist
1. A suit of armour costs an arm and a leg.
2. There’s nothing more inseparable than a girl and her dog
3. Don’t put dirt on daddy. He has to go to work tomorrow.
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
In chess, the Queen is the hero and the King is the damsel in distress.
#this is how maes hughes would have started his best man speech
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
You know, I always find it interesting when people make fics/art where Edward’s been promoted to some rank above major (which comes with the state alchemist certification). It’s interesting to think about sure, but Ed does literally nothing for the army. Mustang’s in Central putting in the effort and getting his name passed around the higher-ups and kissing ass while Ed does literally exactly none of that. He runs around the country with his brother and, begrudgingly, checks in from time to time. Not the sorta dude to be “highly considered” for promotion.
Though the one instance where he could reasonably get promoted would be in the event that 1) Mustang has some sort of opening in his sector and 2) Mustang feels like being a dick.
“Hey Fullmetal, long time no see.”
“Yeah yeah Al and I are in a rush. We wanted to leave Central an hour ago so hurry up and spit it out what’d you call me here for?”
“Oh don’t worry it’s good news. Wonderful news. You’re really making your way in the world. See Lieutenant Colonel Davis transferred recently to Southern Command–”
“Oh no.”
“–Which means there’s a spot for Lieutenant Colonel open here.”
“No no no you didn’t.”
“Longer hours, more responsibilities, sure. But better pay, and you’d get in good with some high-ranking people, assuming you know how to brown-nose.”
“I will literally kick your ass, Mustang.”
“For what? Brightening you future?”
“No really I will kick your ass if you’re being real here–”
“Is that a challenge, Lieuuuutenant Colonel Elric?”
“I swear to God Mustang if you a c t u a l l y d i d…”And as it turns out Mustang’s completely bluffing and gave the job to some hard-working major under his command, but he couldn’t pass up he chance to see Edward’s reaction to dealing with the idea of having genuine responsibility to the Amestrian military.
Mustang knows he actually has relatively little power over Ed, because Ed is too important to the homunculi. Mustang can’t fire Ed (not that he would) or suspend him or dock his pay or dole out any punishment really for insubordination. If he tried, Ed could just completely him, and no one under Bradley’s rule would try to enforce it.
This frustrates Mustang for some time, at least until Mustang discovers he actually is in possession of a real threat against Ed: Promotion.
This confuses a lot of people, who overhear fights between Ed and Mustang that end with Mustang menacingly discussing the better healthcare benefits of Lieutenant Colonels. Or the nicer pay. Or the guaranteed apartment housing in Central.
Most soldiers start theorizing this is some kind of back-hand threat. Something like “You know Elric, you’re under consideration for Lt. Colonel and would get all these nice things. But if you’re going to be difficult, maybe we’ll give these to someone else? Think of what you’d be missing out on.”
This theory loses all of its credibility one afternoon when Mustang’s soldiers overhear a loud, heated argument between the two of them from inside Mustang’s office. It ends with the sound of Mustang slamming both his hands down on his desk, kicking his chair back, and shouting, “I SWEAR TO GOD FULLMETAL IF YOU DON’T SHUT UP I WILL PROMOTE YOU!”
Most Central soldiers just stop trying to understand alchemists at that point.
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
(Source: amandaonwriting, via dyinghistoric)
What I look for in a girl:
- Water, 35 litres
- Carbon, 20 kilograms
- Ammonia, 4 litres
- Lime, 1.5 kilograms
- Phosphorus, 800 grams
- Salt, 250 grams
- Saltpeter, 100 grams
- Sulfur, 80 grams
- Fluorine, 7.5 grams
- Iron, 5 grams
- Silicon, 3 grams
- Trace amounts of 15 other elements
I dunno, I still think your standards are too high.
A woman like that is gonna cost you an arm and a leg.
(Source: vasuki-blog, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
