novelconcepts:

I want to see Greek gods in the modern era.

I want to see Zeus in a tailored suit and shaggy beard, a walking disparity of the loud, brash, post-graduate frat boy variety who can’t pass a woman on the street without catcalls, who has more one-night stands than he could possibly keep in his head, for whom adultery comes as naturally as the weather he predicts on the Channel 4 News—with startlingly accuracy, and an endless wealth of charisma.

I want to see Hera walking tall, six-inch heels and not a wrinkle in her skirt, knowing her boyfriend is cheating, and knowing with equal certainty that she is better, stronger, fiercer than he will ever be, a wedding planner with an eye of steel, spotting vulnerability, slicing it open, teaching every woman who crosses her path to value themselves over any mistake made in the name of men and love.

I want to see Poseidon in Olympic prime, a gym rat who skives off class to shatter backstroke records, who spends his summers lifeguarding at the city pool, who keeps an ever-expanding aquarium in his bedroom and coaxes all the pretty girls up to visit his fish, his charm as impressive as the earth-rending temper he generally uses to fuel his competitive nature.

I want to see Hades, big, hulking, quieter than his brothers would ever think to be, who dresses in neat dark clothes, and polishes his boots, and spends more time reading than fighting, who debates eventuality and ethics, who stoically reminds everyone how enormous, how terrifying, how inescapable a thing like silent inevitability can be.

I want to see Hermes in a beanie, with watercolor splashes of tattoo crawling up his arms and holes in his Chucks, a bike messenger with no helmet, no regard for the rules of the road, all cataclysmic laughter, lock-pick tricks passed along to every kid who thinks to ask, thumbing through his iPhone without a care in the world.

I want to see Athena with reading glasses pushed high on her head, six books in her bag and a switchblade in her back pocket, her clothing as neatly ordered as her mind is feverish, brilliance and temper clashing and blending, doing her best to look dignified—even when her brain chemistry rockets ahead of her well-intentioned plans.

I want to see Apollo splattered with acrylics, board shorts and Monster headphones and a beautiful classic car, busking on street corners, not because he has no choice, but because the sunlight catching on a sticker-patterned acoustic is summer incarnate, because music is blood, because the act of creation is the ultimate in sublime.

I want to see Artemis in ripped jeans and haphazard topknot, star of the soccer team, the track team, the archery team, who rides a motorcycle, and keeps a tribe of girls around her at all times, and does not care for men, for expectation, for anything but volunteer hours down at the local animal shelter and falling asleep under the stars.

I want to see Aphrodite in sundress and scarf, homemade jewelry and lavish amounts of bright red lipstick, who is excellent at public speaking, at theater auditions, at soothing bruised egos and sparking epic fights, who kisses as easily as she breathes and scrawls poetry onto bathroom stalls.

I want to see Ares all but living in the boxing ring, cutoff shirts and sweats, red-faced under a crew cut as he punches, punches, punches until the noise in his head dims, a warrior with no war, all crude jokes and blind fury, totally incapable of understanding what it is to sit, think, plan before running screaming into the fray.

I want to see Demeter with the best garden you’ve seen in your life, with a lawn care business she runs out of her garage, a teenage prodigy grown into a joint-custody single mother, who teaches her carefree daughter all she knows while scaring off the hopeful neighborhood boys with the pet python draped across her shoulders.

I want to see Dionysus with a joint in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other, baggy hoodies and three-week-old jeans, who brews his own beer in his basement and greets all visitors with a fresh pack of Oreos and half-stoned theories of the universe, of birth and death and partying mid-week, because why not, man?

I want to see Hephaestus with a workshop taking up the majority of his house, whose kitchen is overrun with blowtorches, whose bathrooms are home to all manner of hodge-podge invention, who walks with a cane and forgets his laundry for weeks at a time, and strings together the most beautiful steampunk costumes at any convention at the drop of a hat.

I want to see wood nymphs fighting against climate change, waving their signs and pushing for scientific progress. I want to see epic heroes sitting down to Magic: The Gathering tournaments, poker brawls, Call of Duty all-nighters with beer and snapbacks. I want to see Medusa working a women’s shelter, want to see Achilles training for deployment, want to see Prometheus serving endless community service stints for what he calls providing necessary welfare with stolen goods.

Give me modern mythology. I could play for hours in that sandbox.

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

asphodel-grimoire:

doe-eyed-harpy:

winebrightruby:

@asphodel-grimoire on the subject of sister feels: Athena and Artemis

1) Totally got shouted at a lot by Demeter when Persephone skipped town because YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING HER and I EXPECTED BETTER FROM YOU and YOU TWO ACT LIKE YOU’RE GROWNUPS HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN and at first Athena is trying to reason with her (Athena gets angry in a cold fashion) and Artemis crosses her arms and scowls more and more intently (Artemis gets angry in a murder-everyone fashion), but by the end of it they are just so tired of hearing Demeter’s voice that they basically walk away with her still scowling behind them. They lay very, very low for the next few days.

2) They were picking flowers with Persephone. The goddess of war, aegis-bearer, helmed and spear-wielding, was out picking violets and roses and idk braiding them into flower crowns for the goddess of wild animals, huntress, death to maidens and mothers alike. Like. Can we process that.

3) tbh Athena probably likes spending time with Artemis and her nymphs because it’s practically the only place that no one acts shocked over a) her weapons or b) her femininity or especially c) the fact that she is both at once. Like I realize Athena is remarkably unfeminine in terms of her own actions and presentation, but it seems plausible to me that she finds a unique relaxation in the company of the other warrior goddess, especially her sister who chose to embrace her gender while also demanding the destructive capabilities of her twin brother. There’s so much to explore here! Artemis doesn’t act faux-shocked for laughs when Athena carefully brushes out her hair before pinning it meticulously into place. “omg you brush your hair?? I would’ve thought you’d chopped it all off by now! wow it’s almost like you’re a girl!!!!” – that is not a thing Artemis does to her. There are no mutters about ball-busting during her weapon drills. There is only the total acceptance of every part of her, and the uncomplicated warm friendship of other goddesses. Because you cannot tell me the nymphs in Artemis’ retinue don’t dote on Athena like an adopted older sister.

yES

BLESS THIS POST

(via yea-lets-do-this-shit)

dukeofbookingham:

thenextnarcissus:

but seriously though i’m sick and tired of those masterposts that are like “here! A reference site on Greek mythology for all your needs! Look it has all fifteen Greek gods on it!” And I’m like. tHERE WERE LIKE HUNDREDS OF FIGURES IN MYTHOLOGY YOUR CRAPPY HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL BIBLIOGRAPHY SITE MEANS NOTHING TO ME 

if you want a basic outline of Greek mythology okay sure fine??? but like. if you want an extensive fucking reference site you are looking in the wrong goddamn places

as a self-declared greek mythology snob my reference site is fucking always this fucker right here. almost every single figure ever mentioned in a Greek text is on it, it has the most obscure gods, spirits, nymphs— it’s GREAT. You really wanna extend your mythological knowledge past the basic 12 and like four others? USE THEOI.  plus plus PLUS everything is cited so you can actually read the source material written about whoever it is you’re looking at.

fucking signal boost this. i’m so sick and tired of writer’s helpers blogs referring people to sites with as much information you would get from opening a third grade mythology book jesus chriiiiiist

Seconded

(Source: chthonicgodling)

marisolinspades:

hollowedskin:

battlescarmentality:

allieinarden:

I’ve noticed this revisionist Greek myth is common wherein Persephone loves Hades and eats the pomegranate seeds in order to evade her overbearing mother, and that’s all well and good. You know, sometimes I’m in the mood for it and sometimes I’m not. But hear this: as long as we’re doing this, why is no one wondering whether Aphrodite might really love Hephaestus? 

Think about it. All the gods in their immortal splendor are lining up to marry her, doing everything in their power to impress her, the goddess of love and beauty, and she choses…that guy. A god in technical terms only, a social reject who’s ugly and malformed and um, no fun. Always slaving away in his workshop when everyone else is quaffing nectar and having their eternal beach party up on Mount Olympus. They can’t believe she’d give up all of them for that. 

So, because the gods do not take rejection well (looking at you Apollo), eventually they start to say to each other, well, we all know Zeus made her do it anyway. He’s gotta feel guilty for throwing Hephaestus off Mount Olympus that one time. And it quickly becomes that poor girl, stuck in that workshop full of sweat and dirt and cyclopses when she could have had one of us. Because of course they’ve got love all figured out; it’s entirely technical and dependent on who’s the most charming and good-looking and not at all variable and strange and notoriously unpredictable, right?

Meanwhile Ares, only the most arrogant and brainless of the crew, can’t take a hint and is still showing up wherever Aphrodite goes trying to hit on her, so eventually she and Hephaestus decide to rig up an elaborate mechanical trap for him, using her as bait. When all the gods have laughed at him for getting caught he huffily attempts to regain his dignity by telling them, whatever, guys, you want to know the truth, I was meeting her for an assignation. And they all kind of know he’s full of it but they just accept it as the unvarnished truth from thereon in, because they’d love to believe she’d cheat on Hephaestus with Ares. They’d love it. Come on, Aphrodite, get off your high horse and admit you’re just as shallow as the rest of us. 

So they talk, but Aphrodite doesn’t really care about their collective jealousy because she dotes on her misshapen genius of a husband with his sooty hands and his sweaty brow who always takes her seriously and is always so hard at work inventing astonishing new things to make her happy, and she loves the volcano they live in with its internal pressures so conducive to the formation of precious stones and its passages lit with glowing lava that so gorgeously offsets her cheekbones, and all the cyclopses worship her because even with one eye apiece they’ve still got more depth perception than most men do where she’s concerned. True it is that as a couple the two develop a reputation for not getting out much, because all those Olympian parties bore them to death and they’d rather spend time with each other (poor Aphrodite, she’s such a vivacious young thing and her husband is so grasping and insecure that he won’t let her go out and have fun), but they do all right. 

THIS IS THE KIND OF CONTENT I’M LOOKING FOR

love <3

Ok, ok, wait, but it doesn’t end there. Because Aphrodite features pretty heavily in the story of Eros and Psyche. She’s painted as the villain, her jealousy causing her to send her son to curse the girl, but that’s just not true. She knows what it’s like to be clamored over for your beauty, knows the lies that are spread, the way it sets you up as a target and discredits your mind. Aphrodite hears the mortals whisper that this human girl rivals her in beauty, and one day she gets around to seeing what the fuss is about.

She finds Psyche’s home all but besieged by suitors, but she notices the girl isn’t falling for their flattery, that she is still kind, no matter who she’s dealing with. She sees a bit of herself in this girl who aches to be spoken to, not at, and who wants most of all to be heard.

When she sends her son to the girl, she is less than truthful about her motivations. She knows if she tells him she hopes he will fall for this mortal girl it will make things awkward for him, that true love must be discovered on its own and cannot be forced. When he comes away from the encounter with her name on his lips, searching for excuses to talk to her again, Aphrodite whispers into the soothsayer’s ear to tell Psyche’s father that she is loved by a god. Frees her from the hoards of shallow admirers and gives her son the opportunity he needs to see her again. 

When a year of late-night conversations fails to convince her son that it’s time to reveal himself to his beloved, she puts a bug in Psysche’s ear to ask for her sisters to visit, whispers in their ears to convince Psyche to take matters into her own hands, ensures the two can finally meet face to face. She is saddened when Eros flees, believing Psyche had betrayed him.

The four tasks Psyche must overcome to be reunited with her son aren’t laid forth out of spite, but rather to help the girl find herself. Aphrodite knows this girl hasn’t had a choice in the path her life has taken up until this point. Knows that everything was in the hands of her father, and of Aphrodite herself. She wants to make sure Psyche means it, wants Psyche to know what she’s getting into when dealing with the Olympians. Wants, most of all, for Psyche to question her own motivations, fully evaluate the situation, and then make her own choice.

Her frustration at the Olympians aiding the girl isn’t because she hates being tricked. No, she wants Psyche to break out of her shell, wants her to have the option to decide this isn’t worth it and walk away. 

When the final task ends in Psyche laying unconscious on the roadway, Aphrodite searches the girl’s heart and knows her intentions are true. Knows she is ready to join the family. She kicks Eros out of the house to ensure he would find Psyche, to ensure he would come to his senses and forgive her, realize that he had been unfair to her and to ask her forgiveness in turn.

They say Aphrodite was sour about the whole ordeal until her  granddaughter was born, but the truth was she hadn’t stopped smiling from the moment her son had first come home, whispering the girls name in reverence.

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

bisexualzuko:
“ teashoesandhair:
“ lightning-shine:
“ teashoesandhair:
“ nikocchi:
“ -apollo, the titan’s curse
laughing bc i distinctly remember this one myth where apollo fell in love with this one girl but she didnt return his affections and...

bisexualzuko:

teashoesandhair:

lightning-shine:

teashoesandhair:

nikocchi:

-apollo, the titan’s curse

laughing bc i distinctly remember this one myth where apollo fell in love with this one girl but she didnt return his affections and turned into a tree instead 😂 (teashoesandhair maybe correct me if i’m wrong?)

You are so right!! That would be Daphne - a nymph who Apollo saw and he was all “damn, I’m going to climb you like a tree” and Daphne was like “what a great idea, I’m going to make like a tree and leave” and she asked her dad Peneus to turn her into a laurel tree, because she just wasn’t ready to settle down and put down roots with Apollo and she wanted to branch out

I’m in awe of how many awful puns you fit in to that reply.

Excuse me they were all absolutely incredible puns so if you’re looking for bad puns here then you’re barking up the wrong tree

oh my god

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

battlescarmentality:

allieinarden:

I’ve noticed this revisionist Greek myth is common wherein Persephone loves Hades and eats the pomegranate seeds in order to evade her overbearing mother, and that’s all well and good. You know, sometimes I’m in the mood for it and sometimes I’m not. But hear this: as long as we’re doing this, why is no one wondering whether Aphrodite might really love Hephaestus? 

Think about it. All the gods in their immortal splendor are lining up to marry her, doing everything in their power to impress her, the goddess of love and beauty, and she choses…that guy. A god in technical terms only, a social reject who’s ugly and malformed and um, no fun. Always slaving away in his workshop when everyone else is quaffing nectar and having their eternal beach party up on Mount Olympus. They can’t believe she’d give up all of them for that. 

So, because the gods do not take rejection well (looking at you Apollo), eventually they start to say to each other, well, we all know Zeus made her do it anyway. He’s gotta feel guilty for throwing Hephaestus off Mount Olympus that one time. And it quickly becomes that poor girl, stuck in that workshop full of sweat and dirt and cyclopses when she could have had one of us. Because of course they’ve got love all figured out; it’s entirely technical and dependent on who’s the most charming and good-looking and not at all variable and strange and notoriously unpredictable, right?

Meanwhile Ares, only the most arrogant and brainless of the crew, can’t take a hint and is still showing up wherever Aphrodite goes trying to hit on her, so eventually she and Hephaestus decide to rig up an elaborate mechanical trap for him, using her as bait. When all the gods have laughed at him for getting caught he huffily attempts to regain his dignity by telling them, whatever, guys, you want to know the truth, I was meeting her for an assignation. And they all kind of know he’s full of it but they just accept it as the unvarnished truth from thereon in, because they’d love to believe she’d cheat on Hephaestus with Ares. They’d love it. Come on, Aphrodite, get off your high horse and admit you’re just as shallow as the rest of us. 

So they talk, but Aphrodite doesn’t really care about their collective jealousy because she dotes on her misshapen genius of a husband with his sooty hands and his sweaty brow who always takes her seriously and is always so hard at work inventing astonishing new things to make her happy, and she loves the volcano they live in with its internal pressures so conducive to the formation of precious stones and its passages lit with glowing lava that so gorgeously offsets her cheekbones, and all the cyclopses worship her because even with one eye apiece they’ve still got more depth perception than most men do where she’s concerned. True it is that as a couple the two develop a reputation for not getting out much, because all those Olympian parties bore them to death and they’d rather spend time with each other (poor Aphrodite, she’s such a vivacious young thing and her husband is so grasping and insecure that he won’t let her go out and have fun), but they do all right. 

THIS IS THE KIND OF CONTENT I’M LOOKING FOR

THIS IS MY SHIT, I FUCKING LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE MAKE ME RECONSIDER THIS SHIT, WRITE ME A NOVEL.

(via lupinatic)

FUCKING NASA

overlyobsessedfanqueen:

I’m fucking pissing myself.
You know how all of Jupiter’s moons are named after his lovers and affairs?
Yeah. NASA is sending a craft to check up on Jupiter.
You know what the craft is called?

JUNO.

Who’s Juno?

JUPITER’S WIFE.

NASA IS SENDING JUPITER’S WIFE TO CHECK ON JUPITER AND HIS AFFAIRS AND LOVERS.

FUCKING NASA

(Source: saywhatnow07, via thepainofthesass)

fozmeadows:

16ruedelaverrerie:

Hit him where it hurts, Cassandra! (Apollo is the WORST.)

THIS IS THE BEST MYTHOLOGY COMIC I’VE EVER SEEN HOLY SHIT

(via thepainofthesass)

huffylemon:

Greek Mythology/Roman Empire on tumblr

(via adelindschade)

lennythereviewer:
“seananmcguire:
“alennythereviewer:
“itsjosepeacock:
“Meg and Meg as Goddess of The Underworld
”
This is totally something Hades would do out of revenge.
Assuming Meg doesn’t become immortal by proxy of being with Herc, once she...

lennythereviewer:

seananmcguire:

alennythereviewer:

itsjosepeacock:

Meg and Meg as Goddess of The Underworld

This is totally something Hades would do out of revenge.

Assuming Meg doesn’t become immortal by proxy of being with Herc, once she dies for real, Hades is waiting there with the biggest grin on his face

“Meg, Meg, Meg…good ol’ nutmeg~! How ya doing? Here lemme take your coat, you’ll catch your death of cold, Eh!? ….yeesh it won’t kill ya to laugh, okay okay I’m done. Noooow I KNOW we said somethings you’re gonna regret…but I think I came up with a bit of a mutually beneficial arrangement for the two of us. I will GRACIOUSLY give you MY job for say ooooh the next thousand years while I take a little vacation. You get off torture and damnation free, whaddaya say? Huh? No? Y’know what, ya drive a hard bargin, I’ll even let wonderbread visit from time to time, I’m sure you’d have LOADS to talk about, deal? GOOD! We’re in buisness! OH and wouldja look at that, your first customers! Now let’s see who it is….Oooh…wonderboys adoptive parents…don’tcha just hate when in-laws drop in unannounced?”

When they come before her, lost, confused, weeping for the life they left behind, she greets them with comfort and with asophodel flowers.  She shows them to the meadows Hades left fallow, tells them “build and be well,” tells them “the end of your life is not the end of you; find joy in each other, for now, all things are equal.”

She finds the man who left her, the one she sold her soul to save, and presses a pomegranate kiss to his forehead, whispering, “Treat her better than you ever dreamt of treating me,” as her gaze goes, ever-seeking, ever-judging, to the woman who stands in the shadows, trembling in her fear.  He is weeping when he steps away.  He will spend the rest of eternity trying to be worthy of her mercy.

And when they come to her cold and cruel, she shows them the lake, which still churns, eternal and cruel, at the center of her Underworld.

Hercules visits as he can, when the world does not need a hero.  Not as often as either of them would like.  He gathers her close, until the warmth seeps from him into her, until she feels like a living woman again, and her kisses taste of sour wine and cruel earth, and he loves her even in the absence of her heartbeat.

There are those who cannot believe that Hades would step aside, and so they claim that the sad-eyed woman who walks his halls is not his replacement, but his bride; they spin stories around her as spiders spin webs in temple corners.  She looks like Megara, departed bride of Hercules, but that cannot be; Hercules would slay any man who touched his beloved, even now that she is dust and bones.  She must be someone else, then, someone new.

She does not know who first called her “Persephone.”  It does not matter.

When Hades returns, it is to find the world has changed.  The temples have fallen; the gates of Olympus are closed.  A thousand years of myth have made of a captive his common-law bride, and she meets him at the doors of his own kingdom with a smile on her lips, a three-headed dog at her side, and a scroll sealing their divorce in her hands.

“Thanks for the house,” she says, while he’s still staring.  “Now if you’ll excuse me, wonderboy and I have a date with my father-in-law.”

Never give the keys to the kingdom to a woman with no reason to give them back to you.

HOLY CRAP MY ORIGINAL STORY CAME BACK TO MY DASH WITH AN AMAZING ADDITION AEKHJERLKEKLJEKLRJKLKEJEKLULWKRLKHETKEREER

(via academicfeminist)