Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

megphail:

c0ffeekitten:

herpowerisherown:

hush-lullabye:

So a Greek mythology headcanon where Aphrodite can appear either male or female, and she looks like a really fucking sexy guy to gay dudes because that’s who they find attractive
And some Greek bro is out with his buddies when she shows up and he’s all “Wow look at how ripped this dude is no homo” and his buddies are all “What the fuck man that’s a beautiful lady” and that’s how he finds out he’s hella gay

OMG you just opened a door to some amazing head canons
How do you see Aphrodite if you’re ace, aro, Demi, pan, bi???

I bet if you’re bi/ pan, she shifts between genders.

If you’re ace, instead of looking super hot, she looks pretty ordinary, but still aesthetically pleasing, and she has a very kind face and a sweet voice and intelligent eyes. So, romantically appealing.

If you’re demi then she starts off at regular pretty level, but gets steadily hotter as you fall for her.

If you’re aro-ace, she’s invisible (and it pisses her off SO MUCH but she can’t do anything about it).

As an aro ace I strongly approve of this unique opportunity to piss off a Greek god without being murdered or getting turned into a tree or some shit

(via adelindschade)

ronandhermy:

zenosanalytic:

chazkeats:

autisticenjolras:

hades isn’t a badass. hades named his three-headed-guard-of-the-underworld-dog spot. hades whispers to his flowers to make them grow. hades grows fruit. there’s no sun in the underworld.

hades isn’t a badass. stop saying this false thing

#hades probably double knots his laces

In myth, Hades’ most remarked upon traits are 1) how responsible/reliable he is, 2) how sober-minded he is, 3) how dedicated, implacable, and long-remembering he is, and 4) how boring and grim most of the other Olympians think he is to be around. Oh and notably, that if you play him a song he likes, he’ll basically give you anything you ask for (though not without conditions.)

Hades is, canonically, a gigantic nerd. If they’d had train sets, he’d have been the Olympian who collected train sets, meticulously corrected with exacto knife and hobby-paints the errors toy-makers introduced to those train sets, and then endlessly talked about those train sets to anyone sat next to him at thanksgiving dinner (when he wasn’t trying to rope them into an interminable discussion about gardening or divine law, that is.)

He’s the sort of god who frequently handed out punishment like giving someone a million-piece puzzle where every piece is shaped the same, that resets itself at the start of every day if you don’t complete it, and then he keeps the last piece on his person at all times as a secret private joke for eternity because he finds you personally distasteful (not even because he’s mad at you or hates you particularly; he just doesn’t like you as a person)

He is. A. Gigantic. Nerd.

He’s also like one of the only gods who is faithful to his wife. And he listens to her like when she asks for a soul to be released and he’s like “But honey, the rules.” And she just gives him that look and he goes “Yes dear,” and lets the soul go with the easiest freaking instructions ever in a myth. And the human still fucks it up. Not his fault Persephone, not Hades’ fault this time.

Essentially, Hades is sorta like the accountant suburban dad who collects really specific figurines and gets really grumpy when people mess up his lawn. Do you know how hard his wife worked on those roses? He is calling his attorney. Oh wait, he is also an attorney.   

(via adelindschade)

to-the-water-ixazaluoh:

I’d love to watch a tv show about the Greek gods. Not a documentary, but a legitimate television show with plot-line and character development as they portrayed every classic myth side-by-side the ones we hardly know of. And maybe with a few jokes here and there, so I could tune in every Tuesday to watch Zeus destroy the world with his penis and all of the other god’s flipping out trying to save it.

(via yea-lets-do-this-shit)

saxifraga-x-urbium:

medusamori:

terrasigillata:

pretzelsticks:

charlesoberonn:

Hades was the least evil entity in the entire Greek pantheon. Just look at the punishments.

Pushing a rock uphill forever, Have venom slowly dripping on your face for eternity, have a bird eat you liver alive every day, that’s all Zeus.

Hades’ punishments were like ‘solve this million piece puzzle or whatever’

‘be married to me for half the year’

he probably wasn’t the least evil and why do you all have such a hard-on for hades

because the dark and spoopy fingers of emo are still wound tight around some people’s brains

leaving aside the question of why people are allowed to like characters from mythology that leah doesn’t like, almost as if they’re autonomous human beings, hephaestus is clearly the least evil but i’m willing to bet hades raped significantly fewer people than zeus

^^Actually a very legitimate point.

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

auryane:

hartcondition:

yzma:

zeus….. IS the father
*hera throws chair and has to be restrained by security titans*

That’s it. That’s Greek mythology.

there are no security titans in greek mythology. hera kills the entire audience and zeus does nothing

(via lathori)

merryreynamas:

annabellioncourt:

So if the cold weather gets here because Persephone is going back to her husband does that mean that these random really warm days are ones where Hades fucks up and Persephone spends the night at her mother’s until he gets his act together?

Greek mythology

(via history-jokes)