i can’t believe friday, september 1, 2017, is nineteen years later. the last scene in the harry potter books.
this is it.
FUCK
(via notanightlight)
Anonymous asked: C and F for the fandom meme? (I hope you're having a good day!)
C: A pairing you wish you shipped, but just can’t
Oh, wow, sit tight, all of these are entirely predicated on God my life would be easier if I shipped the most popular ship in the fandom.
Charles Xavier/Erik Lensherr: I got committed to the tragic friendship way too young to change my mind, but I have nothing against the ship.
Any configuration at all of Jim Kirk/Spock/Bones McCoy: I just…struggle? I concur that Spock/Kirk is pretty gay in TOS and I want to ship it, and honestly Kirk/Bones should be my exact shit, but I just–look, Kirk is too in love with the Enterprise for anyone else to have a claim.
Buffy Summers/Spike: nope, nope, nope, nope, can’t do it. Too rapey, too much sexual assault, even if I didn’t like Angel I wouldn’t be able to handle it.
Doc Holliday/Wynonna Earp: the show clearly really wants me to care about that pairing and like…I guess there’s nothing wrong with it, but I raise you Doc Holliday/Wyatt Earp and Wynonna/Dolls because Dolls is wonderful and Doc is so blindingly obviously in love with Wyatt and trying to work his issues out by fucking Wynonna, which, no judgement, because Wynonna is clearly trying to work out her own adequacy issues by fucking Doc.
Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter: I want to ship it just so I could stop feeling this level of seething wrath about it, I feel similarly about almost EVERY ship that the HP fandom likes, including literally anything that includes Severus Snape.
F: What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? What fandom was it?
I mean…I was a late-comer to the concept of internet fandom (the last…four or five years?) because of various reasons, but I’ve been a devoted consumer of any X-Men content I could afford to get my hands on since I was 7 and I’ve been collecting Animorphs books about as long, so there’s those.
what’s the betting that potterwatch was just a radio project lee jordan was doing in his spare time and never actually stopped after the war
“Harry Potter was spotted at the local farmers market today, good choices in produce Harry! Gotta love the organics”
he’s the only reporter harry will talk to other than giving official statements when he has to as an auror
“I’m speaking to Harry Potter today after the long-awaited conclusion of the trial of quadruple murderer Waldorfus Grenoble. Harry, may I ask you a question regarding the trial?”
“Sure, Lee, I have to be back at work in ten but give it a go.”
“What is in the curry you had for lunch yesterday during the recess? It smelled fantastic and I have to know.”
“Thanks for asking, Lee. I’ve recently come across a book of my great-grandmother Priyanka’s notes on her Punjabi cooking and I’ve been trying to recreate her food. I liked that one but Ginny said it was too sweet so I’m making adjustments.”
“Fantastic. Great stuff. Next up we have an update on You-Know-Who’s whereabouts. Not Voldemort obviously– he’s six feet under, it’s been around 2500 days now and he’s still going strong, no sign of him being not dead any time soon.”
“You’re correct, Lee, he’s dead as a doornail and he’s going to stay that way. You do realize you don’t need to refer to your infant daughter as ‘You-Know-Who,’ right?”
“Sophie starts screaming if either of her dads talks about her and we don’t know why. Any suggestions, and any idea where she is now?”
“Oliver was walking her up and down the hallway outside the World Cup Regulatory Office last I saw her. As for the screaming, with James we gave him the miniature dragon from the Triwizard in ‘94 and that entertained him pretty well.”
“You heard it here first folks, Harry Potter thinks dragons are an appropriate substitute for pacifiers! Thanks for your time, Harry.”
“Any time, Lee.”
“Next week’s password is anything that will make our six-month-old go to sleep for longer than four hours. Signing off, this has been Potterwatch with River and the man himself, Harry Potter.”
(via windbladess)
While I absolutely agree that Lily Potter beat the shit out of snape when he joined the afterlife don’t forget Petunia Dursley.
Lily was estranged from her sister but still trusted her to take care of her son, who was found bleeding and crying on her doorstep after his parents were murdered. Only to find out that they hurt, starved, isolated, lied to, and locked in both a cupboard and then a room with bars on the window the son she died to protect so he could have a better life? I don’t care what the deleted scene said about petunia being sad lily died when she gets to the afterlife it is round two of lily potter MMA smackdown
“Why did she end up here?”
“James–”
“No, that woman destroyed–”
“Hold on–”
“Stop.” A cool, familiar voice, but there’s something warm lacking in it. “Go. I need to talk to her.” A pause. “Alone.”
“…Call me if you need me, Lily,” the man says. There’s the sound of footsteps on grass.
Petunia wrinkles her nose and opens her eyes to blue, blue skies. I died, she thinks. I’m dead.
It’s not such a surprise. She was nearly eighty years old, after all, and it had been many years since Vernon died. What is a surprise is the body she finds when she sits up. She can’t be physically older than 20, the year she had Dudley and moved in with Vernon. The year that Lily–
“Hello, Petunia.”
Petunia scrambles up, heart thundering in her chest, and whirls around. There, right in front of her, for the first time in over sixty years, is Lily.
She’s just as beautiful as she remembered, long red hair framing a clear face. There’s that familiar curl of envy, but it’s duller now, after all these years, and Petunia drinks in the sight of her sister hungrily. She’s standing in a field, white robes falling from her shoulders, and her green eyes are almost the exact same color as the greenery beneath their feet.
Lily’s green eyes are suddenly a lot closer and, oh wow, Petunia is looking at the sky again. She frowns and tentatively reaches up to touch her jaw. It hurts.
But I’m dead, Petunia thinks first. And then, Lily punched me. She lifts her head up as much as she can.
“What,” Lily hisses, fists vibrating at her sides, “the fuck, Petunia?”
thanatoswrath asked: Minerva McGonagall
Lol. I feel bad. I mean Minerva McGonagall for the prompt thing of yours. Sorry for not clarifying
I got you, my buddy. HBIC Minerva McGonagall, coming right up.
A: what I think realistically
McGonagall is widely hailed as The One That Got Away through every Auror’s department in the world, in much the same way that Dumbledore is hailed as The One That Got Away regarding the Minister of Magic. Stories get around to the tune of “wow, did you hear, Minerva McGonagall took a dozen Stunners straight to the chest and they think she’s going to recover fully” and “wow, did you hear, Minerva McGonagall animated every statue in Hogwarts” and “wow, did you hear, Minerva McGonagall tortured a Death Eater in Ravenclaw Tower.” (This last is not true, and McGonagall puffs up in a combination of fierce pride and genuine offense whenever she hears it. How dare you but also my House, goddamnit, he belongs in MY House.) And the older Aurors are like “Goddamn right, she’s Minerva Fucking McGonagall, she could have run this place if she didn’t like teaching so much.”
B: what I think is fucking hilarious
It was definitely Minerva McGonagall’s idea to, A, make James Potter Head Boy, and, B, drown the Dursleys in letters.
The thing about James Potter is that he wasn’t a prefect. Remus was a prefect. Remus, however, was also reliably flat on his back the two days around the full moon, and Somewhat Indisposed that one night a month, and so someone had to cover his duties. The first time McGonagall found James doing Remus’ patrol (and look suspiciously exhausted about it too) she almost gave him detention for life. But…
“One chance, Mister Potter,” she says stiffly. “If I hear you’ve been abusing this, I’ll take it straight to the Headmaster.”
“You got it Minn–I mean, um, yes, Professor.” James offers her a smile that makes the circles under his eyes stand out. McGonagall does some mental math–the full moon was last night, what does James have to look so tired about? With Remus out of commission, they’re hardly getting up to elaborate shenanigans without him.
James Potter, for three nights a month, is beyond reproach. Impeccable, in fact. McGonagall half recommends him because she thinks he’s genuinely improving with the weight of responsibility and half because…come on, she just has to. She has to. No one is more horrified than James Potter himself when he gets the letter.
The thing about the Dursleys…they’re terrible and Minerva dislikes them supremely and she COULD go herself but she suspects that it won’t get them any further. So she enchants two dozen quills to write identical copies of Harry’s letter and comes up with every terrible idea she can to make their lives miserable. Because fuck them, that’s why.
C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends awful just awful I’m sorry
McGonagall has a list of students that she never meant to start keeping. It started years ago, by accident, when she opened the Daily Prophet and saw a name on the front page–little Jacob Hanover, a Muggleborn fourth year who was murdered in the street when the Death Eaters first started to rise. He was a sweet boy, with a wicked sense of humor and an eye for Charms that was downright ingenious. He had tried to defend himself, a Gryffindor at the end even though his House had been something of a quiet mystery, but it hadn’t helped. The list is long, grows by the day, but then…oh, then it stops, with four names inscribed at the bottom on the same date–James Potter, Lily Evans Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black.
(The boy she remembers, the boy who had three times been given detention for calling her ‘Minnie’ to her face, the boy who had once sent every Black in Slytherin an identical Howler full of insults, the boy who had laughed at his best friend’s wedding and danced the bride around in circles until they were both dizzy–he’s dead, she decides the second she gets the news. He’s dead, and he died when he betrayed his friends. She has no idea that the boy wishes the same thing, with all his heart.)
The book containing the list leaves the corner of her desk where she’s kept it all this time, and she puts it on a bookshelf with every intent of never opening it again. The war is over and she will not lose more students to that monster’s mania. Minerva McGonagall will not raise another generation of children to march into battle.
Thirteen years later, she opens a book from her bookshelf and very sternly does not cry as she adds another name. Cedric Diggory. Flipping through the remaining pages, Minerva has a terrible premonition–there will be a lot more names before this is done.
Alternatively: Minerva McGonagall attends Lily and James’ funeral. The child reaching into the coffins, calling in confused distress for Mama and Daddy is bad enough, but she has never seen anything more heartbreaking than Remus Lupin, standing alone in the front row and clutching blindly at the photograph in his hands–the whole lot of them, the Marauders and Lily, at the wedding all those years ago. They’re smiling in the picture. Remus, three of his best friends murdered at the behest of the fourth, looks like he’ll never smile again. That’s what breaks Minerva, finally, and sets her sobbing into her hands.
Eleven years later, Harry Potter looks her in the eye (he looks so much like his parents) and says that he and Ron miss Hermione, so much, please, they just want to see her, even if she can’t hear them. Even if she’s Petrified.
McGonagall knows when she’s being played, she does, but right then…pale and desperate and a little griefstricken, Harry doesn’t look like James, or Lily, or even wild and proud Sirius. He looks like Remus, looking for friends who are far outside his reach. She lets him and Ron go.
D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway
MCGONAGALL HAS A WIFE, SHE’S CHARMING, CANON CAN SUCK A DICK.
yknow the more jk rowlings world falls apart in america (race relations, international history, population, etc) the more i like to think that america just straight up doesnt have the statute of secrecy. european countries are falling over themselves hiding magic but come to georgia and theres a drunk redneck wizard wingardium leviosa-ing the shit out of a tractor to the delight of his drunk redneck muggle buddies in a walmart parking lot.
wizard on muggle violence is prevented by virtue of there being like a 50/50 chance that muggle is packing heat. muggle on wizard violence is prevented by knowing that wizard can give you boils spelling LIL BITCH on your forehead if you try to start something.
america is the weird redheaded stepchild of the magic world.
im not gonna stop reblogging this until this is the next Hot Fanon
english muggles come back to england and suspicious wizards meet them at the airport.
‘did you witness any strange or inexplicable acts while you were in america?’ they demand.
the english muggles just laugh in their dumb fucking faces. mate, it’s america.
what’s the difference between a werewolf and an animagus?
english wizard: *two hour lecture on legal history*
american wizard: six beers
@jumpingjacktrash congrats ive read hundreds of comments on this dumpster fire of a headcanon and yours is the best
thank you my patronus is a monster truck
(Source: chilledmilk, via bronzedragon)
Slytherins are not Nazis in the sense that “Hydra is Nazis” or “Death Eaters are allegorical Nazis” but Slytherins have been, CANONICALLY, complicit in and/or actively encouraging racism and the activities of extremists since the founding of the House
like
i literally do not understand how people can rightfully talk at length about how Draco Malfoy and Severus Snape are awful and then turn around and pretend that the process that MOLDED them in to the type of people that would hurl slurs around and feel entitled to people/things because of their blood didn’t start with their family and CONTINUE WITH BEING IN A HOUSE THAT SPEWS OUT RACIST DOGMAS AT FIVE KNUTS APIECE
i don’t give a fuck if out of universe you want to dissociate Slytherins from their canon baggage so you can sort your faves or whatever but “Slytherins are BULLIED AT HOGWARTS” “PROTECT SLYTHERINS” “SLYTHERINS ARE OPPRESSED IN CANON FOR BEING AMBITIOUS” lmao fuck all the way off
This this this
Like lets not forget that the password for the common room was “pureblood” in Harry’s second year. Pureblood mania is a huge part of the house’s history and heritage. Lets not forget that the Malfoys are from Slytherin and they are hugely priveleged, with money and with influence in the Wizarding world, so Slytherins aren’t automatically hated or distrusted like fandom likes to act. People like to argue that there are Slytherin muggleborns, and their might be (I’m not going to argue with people headcanons) but lets not pretend that the Sorting Hat probably avoids doing that because of a) Salazar Slytherin’s wishes for who he wants in his house and b) because a muggleborn is probably going to face a lot of bullying in that house. Also, the Sorting Hat takes people’s choices into account when sorting people. Pretty much all new wizards/witches are going to know what kind of reputation Slytherin has and what kind of propganda its spreading (so not even a reputation without basis) so will probably want to avoid that house, which is why there’s so many death eaters in there in the first place. Like if I turned up at a school that had a house whose founder hated brown people but also valued traits I valued I’m probs not going to be like “oh okay then, I don’t mind going there” (as a woc) i’m going to avoid it like the plaque. And tbh in canon if I was a witch going to Hogwarts but a halfblood or pureblood but the sorting hat considered putting me in Slytherin I’d be like lol no thanks purely because of the associations of that house and there’s nothing wrong with that?? Its not bullying and its not even stereotyping or w/e??
Like out of canon, I’m fine with people being Slytherins bc they are ambitious or have other Slytherin traits they identify with and I’m fine with the statement that not all bad people come from Slytherin (ie Lockhart, Wormtail) and not all Slytherins are Death Eaters (ie Andromeda, Regulus) but its literally canon that Slytherin is a racist house with racist roots and I just hate the way this fandom acts as if Slytherin is the most mistreated house???
#like#ia that jkr could have taken a more nuanced approach to slytherins in canon?#but it still would have been as a juxtaposition to the racist history of the house#that is a function of the story and a part of the setting sry not sry
I find it strange that people are confused by Slytherin being a explicitly racist house, but would understand if we called it a racist fraternity. Like if we started talking about some fraternity at some American University and the fraternity was named after a racist Confederate Civil War general, and part of the criteria for getting in was based on race. Tumblr people would never say that the surrounding community disliking the people who were in that fraternity was a horrible thing. The same problem of kids who were pressured/encouraged by their parents to go into that fraternity would be in effect. Who would say it was okay for ANYONE to join that racist fraternity, even if their other values matched up, or they were a legacy, or that they loved the fraternity’s library?
Just change the word ‘house’ to ‘fraternity’ and they problems become a lot more apparent.
(via hptextposts)
There are two sides to every story. Harry and Ginny tell one hundred about how the proposal went because “let me taste another bean” isn’t exactly the “yes” people expect to hear.
[instagram: @potterbyblvnk]
(via wildehacked)
While I absolutely agree that Lily Potter beat the shit out of snape when he joined the afterlife don’t forget Petunia Dursley.
Lily was estranged from her sister but still trusted her to take care of her son, who was found bleeding and crying on her doorstep after his parents were murdered. Only to find out that they hurt, starved, isolated, lied to, and locked in both a cupboard and then a room with bars on the window the son she died to protect so he could have a better life? I don’t care what the deleted scene said about petunia being sad lily died when she gets to the afterlife it is round two of lily potter MMA smackdown
(via clockwork-mockingbird)
