thebaconsandwichofregret asked: *slides $20 across the ask box* what do Alderaanian wife braids look like?

notbecauseofvictories:

“You should go see Leia.”

Han blinked, startled by the sudden voice, the sudden farmboy-cum-Jedi standing in the doorway and blocking the light. It was after-hours even for the track, he hadn’t been expecting anyone in the pilot’s lounge. 

“Hello to you too, Luke,” he drawled, leaning back in the armchair. “Good to see you, been too long, how’s the search for Jedi shit going? Myself? Well, I’m not too bad, bit of a trouble with my joints—getting older’s a rum business, you know? But I can’t complain; complaining’s the business of them who don’t have enough else to do, as I like to say.”

Luke stared balefully at Han, and Han got the sense he was just restraining himself from rolling his eyes. “You’ve never said that before in your life. And also, you should go see Leia.”

“Kid, I know you’re last of the Jedi or whatever these days, but you gotta work on your small talk.”

Luke rolled his eyes. “You are the most frustrating, stubborn—”

“To be fair, you knew that about me already,” Han laughed, stumbling to his feet and crossing the lounge to Luke. With a sigh, Luke let himself be enfolded in a hug.

“Han—”

“Yeah, yeah, I heard you. Is she hurt?” Han asked. (He still wasn’t entirely sure how the Force-thing worked, but he knew Luke and Leia kept tabs on each other, even across the galaxy.) A thought struck, and he sucked in a breath. “Kriff, is it—is it Ben? Is Ben okay?”

“Ben is fine. Leia is fine. She’s just…it’s a politics thing.”

Han exhaled, laughing. “Mother of Kwath, kid, you got me terrified over nothing. I am not the politics guy. Leia has politics guys, I am not them. I’ll give her a comm tonight, but I’m—sure she’s got it handled.”

“It’s about you,” Luke said pointedly, and Han felt cold well in the pit of his stomach. “This time, you are the politics thing.”

“Oh,” Han said.

.

.

“It’s idiotic,” Leia dismissed, when he commed. “Even if—someone’s choice of spouse said anything about their character at all, you are a war hero and a general. You led the assault on Endor! And now you’re an entrepreneur—”

“That’s a lot of syllables for someone who travels around the galaxy, betting on themselves in starship races, sweetheart.”

“The essence of politics is describing things in more syllables than they’re worth,” she bit out, and he laughed, outright. Even over the crappy satellite feed, he could see her relax a little at the sound, breathe out.

She looked so small and very far away, her face on the monitor.

“Do you want me there?” he asked. “Because I can be there—Chewie can take the Falcon, and I’m pretty sure farmboy still remembers his way around a ship if he needs a co-pilot. I could use a vacation.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s fine. I’m fine. You have the Outer Rim qualifier in two weeks, and this is just another stupid fight over something that doesn’t matter. A distraction. Once I get this bill approved, they’ll drop it.”

“Yeah, but—”

Before he could finish, there was a loud clattering sound from her end of the connection, and a shout of “Is that dad? Can I talk to dad?” with Threepio’s fainter, “Master Ben, really!” By the time he’d talked (argued) with Ben and talked (argued) with Leia again, the matter was dropped.

Luke looked up when Han entered he cockpit, smiling a little when Han groaned and let himself sag into the pilot’s seat. “So, about the Outer Rim qualifier—”

“Maybe you don’t know this about me,” Luke said, his tone thoughtful. “But I’m a pretty good pilot. I once flew an x-wing with my eyes closed and blew up the Death Star. So I could probably handle going really fast around a track once or twice.“

“I can see why the Empire decided to kill all the Jedi,” Han grumbled.

.

.

Normally, Han would have arrived on Chandrila at some ungodly hour, shucked off his boots at the door, and crawled into bed beside Leia still smelling of the Falcon, too tired to do much more than mumble against her cheek and pass out.

It was strange to be there in the sunlight, walking up the last of the stairs just as she was emerging from the suite. For a minute, he just watched her—she was on another planet, reading something on her datapad and all her attention focused there; he was still surprised she didn’t bump into walls when she did that. 

He’d teased her once that it was the only part of the Force he actually believed in.

Han grabbed her elbow before she could pass him, and she looked up in shock. “You should be careful, Senator,” Han drawled, as she laughed. “I hear there are some real criminal elements in this part of town.”

“Oh, well,” she said, her eyes alight, “they can’t be as shockingly criminal as my husband.”

(Every time she kissed him like this, it was like that first time in the Falcon, his skin aching and hot, more alive than he’d ever been because death and her were staring him down. The kissing wasn’t the reason he left—or the reason he came back—but it was a reason, all the same.)

“Hello, stranger,” she murmured, when they separated.

“Hey,” he said, inhaling the smell of her, whatever product she put in her hair these days—it reminded him of Endor, something sharp and green. “Thought I’d come and apologize for not listening to you in person.”

Her mouth curved. “You never listen to me, I’ve gotten used to it.”

It took about two days for Han to realize it was worse than Luke had let on. He wasn’t sure why everyone suddenly cared about Leia marrying a Corellian bastard of an ex-spice smuggler—the justice who married them had asked if there were any objections five years ago, no one seemed bothered then—but people cared. And he trusted Leia when she said it would stop after the bill, but the bill was being stalled in some committee, and—

“Politics,” Han sighed, when Ben asked why Han was being talked about on the holonews. “It’s all just politics, kid, don’t worry. We’re going to be fine.”

On the third week, when they still weren’t fine, Han put Ben to bed and sat down across from Leia at the dining table. She had datapads spread around her and a pinched look on her face; Han almost balked, but— “Maybe I might be willing to go to some of those parties,” he said. Her gaze snapped up, to him, and he offered a weak smile. “You know, those ones I hate, with the tiny food and the awful people. And maybe I can show your senator friends that…I am that civilized Hero of Endor, and you didn’t screw up, by picking me. You know, if you think that could help.”

“Han—”

“Or, I mean, we could get divorced, but I worked really hard to convince you to marry me in the first place, plus there was a war. I don’t think I’ll get so lucky a second time.”

Leia looked at him for a long, long moment, then exhaled. “Well, we’ll try the first, and if that doesn’t work, there’s always the second option. Maybe you can ask for Threepio in the settlement.”

“Your sense of humor has not improved with time, princess.”

.

.

“You shouldn’t shout you know,” Han said, settling against the doorframe and offering a grin. “My wife wouldn’t be too pleased if she found out I brought a beautiful stranger into our bedroom.”

Leia met his gaze in the mirror and pointedly rolled her eyes. Han stuck out his tongue at her. “I thought you’d be dressed by now,” she said, her mouth twisting. “The party starts in an hour, and—”

“It’ll take me ten minutes to change. I didn’t want to wrinkle anything waiting for you.”

“I’ve seen you preen for forty-five minutes, Solo, don’t lie to me.”

He snorted, watching as she set down her brush and began braiding her hair. He’d always liked her this way, barefoot and unarmored, the most herself she could be. He’d always liked being one of the few allowed to see it. “Did you need me for some reason? I can change into the suit right now if you think of some interesting ways to put wrinkles in it.”

“Just you hand,” she interrupted, shooting him another look. Her hands were still moving, doing something complicated with the strands she had gathered at the top of her skull. He crossed the room to her side, “Put your index finger…here,” she said, tapping a place where the strands wove together. He pressed his finger in exactly that place, and she wove the hair around it, like a ring. “Take your hand away? And—then thumb in the divot over my ear.”

“Okay,” Han said quietly.

There was something steadying about it, just her soft directions, and him, and their hands. He’d watched her do this before, braid and coil and brush and knot—the traditional art of Alderaan, passed down from mother to daughter. They each had meanings, and Han knew some of them; the circlet interwoven with a lace was her imitation of the crown of Alderaan, and when she wore that high coil of braids, it meant she was grieving.

(What about when you wear it loose like this? he’d asked once, when he was pouring it through his fingers like water. He liked it best down, a veil around her shoulders. 

Nothing, she had said. This is just me.)

“I haven’t seen this one before, have I?” he asked when she was finished, touching the soft honeycomb cluster behind her ear, looping to an equally complex knot on the other side. It took him a moment to realize that the twisting coils were the size of his fingers, left over of his hands.

“No, I haven’t—done this one before,” Leia said quietly, smoothing back a flyaway strand with her fingertips.

“I’m surprised,” Han chuckled. “Would have though you had plenty use for braids that say you’re ready to fight.”

“These aren’t braids for fighting,” Leia said. She wasn’t quite meeting Han’s gaze in the mirror, and he thought he saw a blush. “My mother wore these each year on her wedding anniversary. These are—the traditional name is ‘the work of loved hands’ but they’re better known as wife’s knots. They’re one of the few styles that is unique to every wearer, because it requires two sets of hands.”

Han couldn’t think of what to say, if there was anything to say. He wanted to kiss her, but he didn’t trust himself. He felt like he’d get lost in it too easily, let the whole world and everything in it slip away because she was there, with wife’s knots in her hair.

“I didn’t screw up, picking you,” Leia said, rising to her feet. When she turned, her expression was fierce, stern. She’d ordered men into battle with that expression. “And either way, I did pick you. I’m keeping you, and there’s nothing the New Republic can do about it.

“Now,” she said, “get changed. The party starts in an hour.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Han said quietly, and followed her out.

kleurrijkste:

just-call-me-vendetta:

sailormurkury:

skittle-happy-matt:

OH MY GOD

This is why you buy the unscented Dr. Bronner’s soap, or any other scent BUT peppermint

😂😂

I only use the Peppermint Dr. Bronner’s! (And I love having an ice fresh butthole)

(via fireflyca)

robotmango:

i assume that, like, all of nyc is in on a conspiracy to hide the truth about blunt force head trauma from daredevil. like, to… protect his feelings??? the cops must be like “oh, yeah buddy, you really dinged those bad guys up! they’ll be feeling it for weeks! they’ll really think twice about Doing A Crime again.” when like, in reality, they are dead. they are dead people. they got busted in the head six times with a carbon fibre rod, and they died en route. i mean lets get real. daredevil showing up to the hospital with self-help books about starting over, “i’d like to drop these off for some of the bikers,” and the nurses all look at each other like, “uh… oh, honey, they were transferred to metro… north…. yeah, insurance thing. we’ll hold onto those for you.” they are all dead matt they’re dead. church is cool but maybe you should spend some more time on the Medical Side of wikipedia

(via punkrockpatroclus)

hacash asked: for the valentines' day prompts may I ask for legolas/gimli and the different courtship rituals of elves and dwarves?

notbecauseofvictories:

the courtship of gimli son of gloin and legolas greenleaf, son of thranduil is a disaster from beginning to end. Because elves really only have two romantic settings:

  1. “no romantic feelings whatsoever” 
  2. “undying love that withstands the ravages of time and yokes two hearts together such that neither death nor fire nor void could cleave them in twain unto the coming of Dagor Dagorath, Amen”

which means that when legolas figures out that this strange bright-hard lightness and gladness and warmth he feels around gimli is love, that’s it, game over, his expectation is that they will either be married and live forever in joyous bliss or gimli will refuse him, and legolas will spend all his days wandering in middle earth, singing ballads he himself has composed about the prowess and kindness of gimli, son of gloin.

(elves…..don’t really court one another. Either your love is returned, or it’s not. “Not” is a perfectly acceptable answer, there is lots of room in elvish culture for unrequited love—it’s very courtly, their idea of “not”. It comes with an expectation you turn that pain into something Ennobling and Grand, and remain true to the ideal of your beloved. But that’s it, the matter is settled, and it takes monumental shifts to make either party reconsider.)

unfortunately, this means that after their shaky declarations of mutual feeling (to call it a hatchet job, gimli insists, would be an insult to perfectly decent hatchets) legolas takes it as a personal affront that gimli wants to court. To him, it seems unimaginably cruel, to spend time with a person in that way while always keeping one eye on the door, as though to say, you are perfectly nice, but only for now.

not all of us have forever to promise, amralime, gimli says, very gently.

(really, gimli’s argument is—look at how much grief has been brought into the world by elves who loved, but did not know what came after. Who did not know how to compromise, when to let a disagreement go; who struggled against their beloved’s seeming lack of affection, to give gifts that were not Portentous and Doomed. 

maybe the immortal Firstborn can afford to spend their lives desperately unhappy in a match made with love and little consideration. But dwarves do not have the luxury. All metal is tested by fire, to burn away impurities; it is not a condemnation of the ore.)

finally, finally, gimli manages to talk him around by assuring him that their courtship will mostly involve wandering in the woods of ithilien and making out against trees. “gonna smith you…so much jewelrygimli mumbles sleepily, as their argument winds down, fading into the night. (It hasn’t been an argument in earnest for a few hours now, especially once they crawled into bed together.)

legolas smiles a little, and sleeps.

#legolas is literally so offended     #“YOU THINK YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN ME???” in equal parts indignation and hurt     #he literally does not tell thranduil they’re dating because a) dwarf     #and b) “you couldn’t even get A DWARF to marry you on the first go-around he had to think about it first? what son of mine—”     #ah good times     (x)

swimthroughthefires:

swimthroughthefires:

genuinewarmdecentfeeling:

Consider this: Finn stealing a fry off of Rey’s plate because he heard that’s a cute thing couples do and he wants to balance out their “I’LL SAVE YOU!” emotional intensity with some cute things, only Rey freezes and Finn’s like, shit, I just stole food from someone who grew up without it, what Attack Mode did I just activate. But then she just fucking dumps all of her food on his plate all “I’LL FEED YOU, YOU’LL NEVER GO HUNGRY WITH ME” and they’re right back in the emotional intensity, and Finn doesn’t even like fries that much.

#omg if they ever go on holiday rey would 100% aggressively catch wildlife for them to eat and he’s like#can we get takeout#im pretty sure this planet has takeout rey#star wars#the force awakens#rey x finn

#star wars#tfa#I AM NOW EXTREMELY INVESTED IN REY THE AGGRESSIVE HUNTER-GATHERER-PROVIDER#whether it’s a ship or just friends because REY AGGRESSIVELY BRINGING HOME THE BACON#rey eyeballing poe and finn’s plates and telling them to finish their veggies#rey getting nervous about accepting food from poe and finn because that’s THEIR FOOD and they should eat it#rey and poe and fin camping out waiting for exfil on a forest planet and a herd of cute animals storms by#finn and poe are admiring them until rey comes back with one slung over her shoulder#and she butchers it right there in front of them and then cooks it lovingly#and offers them the best pieces with this PROUD LOOK ON HER FACE#because offering your friend food is one of the greatest gestures you could make on jakku#also i am 1000000000% here for rey and finn being ridiculously overprotective with poe#as i have tagged many times before takiki16

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

studygoddesses:

I am literally in love with the fact I get to see how my little cousins interact even with a language barrier. On my mom’s side, I have a 3 year old little cousin who only speaks French, and on my dad’s side I have a 2 year old cousin who only speaks Spanish. When they play together it is so funny to see them blabber on and on to each other until one of them hears a word that sounds familiar and then they just repeat that word and nod like they’re totally connecting. Like today the one that speaks Spanish said “Venga a poner los pantalones en la muneca!” and the other heard “pantalones” and was just like “Oui, pantalon!” They’re best friends and it’s the cutest and funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

(Source: rosesandstudying, via clockwork-mockingbird)

starwarsrockstars:

st0rmpil0t:

kylobentrash:

from what we’ve seen of Rey, she hardly whines at all. There is no way in hell she could be related to a Skywalker.

KENOBI IT IS

This is the most convincing argument I’ve seen yet

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

badcgijosh:

bradofarrell:

what does this have to do with loki

Brad you listen to me and you listen to me carefully you need to get the fuck out while you still can

(Source: it-goes-in-my-butt, via yea-lets-do-this-shit)

Confused College Bro Asks Internet For Advice After Spontaneous Gay Hookup With Best Friend

brigidkeely:

akafoxxcub:

A 19-year-old reddit user sought the advice of his fellow redditors after a spontaneous gay hookup with his best friend last month.

“I had a gay experience with my friend I thought we were both straight,” he writes. “Feeling confused and don’t know where to go from here.”

The teen shared his experience in full detail hoping to get some guidance from users of reddit’s relationship forum. He writes:

Some background for the situation: I’ve known my friend Danny, the friend in question, since we were 14. We were part of a group of four guys and we all got along really well. Him and his best friend and me and my best friend would all hang out together all the time after school and on weekends, play video games together and go on adventures, you know, just teenager stuff. Anyway, at the end of high school we all went to different colleges across the country for different reasons. Danny and I both came back to our hometown for the summer, but my best friend and his best friend both stayed at their schools to work and take summer classes and such.

I’ve been hanging out with Danny pretty much every day since we got back. My parents repurposed my bedroom to a workout room almost as soon as I moved into the dorms so I live in my basement and usually he’ll come over and we’ll play games or watch tv or listen to music, and then he’ll crash on the couch, go home in the morning and then come back over in the afternoon, rinse and repeat.

Last night we were watching some shitty movie, or really more like just talking with the movie on in the background and there was a sex scene. I asked him if he managed to get laid at all at college, and he said no. I admitted that I hadn’t either. We started to talk about sex a little. I could feel myself getting excited but I didn’t really understand why. The conversation kept up to the point where I said something along the lines of “I would really love to know what it feels like to have somebody suck my cock.” He said “what if…” and then blushed. One thing led to another and next thing I know he’s blowing me. I felt weird and conflicted about it but it was so good. It was like my mind switched gears in the middle of it and all of a sudden I was so turned on by him. When he finished me I asked him to let me return the favor. Afterwards we kissed, and then he awkwardly said that he should leave and went home.

As soon as he left my mind went into overdrive. A lot of things clicked into place in my mind but I’m still confused about a lot of things. I don’t look at porn often but when I do it’s usually women, but I’ve never met a woman irl that I was actually attracted to. I thought it was because I have high standards, but what if it’s because I’m not into women? I can’t make sense of it. I was super horny this morning, I’ve jerked off three times already today and I tried to think about women and look at straight porn but my mind kept drifting back to Danny’s body, Danny’s dick, Danny with his mouth around me. It’s crazy because I’ve never once felt attraction to a man before, never noticed guys in a sexual way at all, but now all I can think about is him.

I’m really worried that this will fuck up our friendship. I don’t regret what we did, but what if he does? What if he’s been scoping me out this whole time, waiting for his chance to pounce? I don’t know how I would feel about that. Also if he decides he doesn’t want to be around me anymore, I’m going to be alone for the rest of the summer. None of my other friends are in town. And then what happens if we do decide to get together, become a couple. What happens when we go back to school? What do we tell our other friends? Hell, what would I tell my parents?

I texted him earlier, just a simple “Hey” and I haven’t gotten anything back yet. I’m kind of losing my mind waiting on an answer. I would really love advice regarding what to say to him when I talk to him next. I want to continue to explore my relationship with him, but I don’t want to scare him off by coming on too strong. I need to feel out his thoughts first.

Does anybody else that’s been in a situation like this have any advice to offer? What should I say to him? How can I salvage our friendship if it turns out that he doesn’t feel the same way as me? I’m looking for any general advice regarding sexuality and figuring yourself out as well.

tl;dr: Thought I was straight, ended up engaging in mutual oral sex with a friend that I also thought was straight. I want to figure out my sexuality and continue to explore this new territory with my friend, but stay friends with him if he’s not interested. How do I approach the topic so as to not scare him off? And how do I figure out if I’m bi or gay, just for my own personal peace?

EDIT: He just texted me back and asked if he could come over. I said yes. Wish me luck!

A few days later, he provided this update:

I’m getting a lot of update requests, and Danny just headed home so I figured I’d go ahead and post. I have exciting stuff to tell you guys! First I wanted to say thanks to everybody who commented, you all really helped me calm down and stop overthinking everything. I appreciate it a lot.

When Danny showed up we were both really nervous and awkward at first. I was really scared to say anything, but I broke the tension by telling him how much I had enjoyed the night before. He broke out into a huge grin and turned bright red, lit up like a christmas tree. He told me he was so relieved, and that he had been obsessing over it all night worried for the same reasons I had been.

I told him that it was my first sexual experience ever and that I was questioning my sexuality now. He told me that he had been questioning his sexuality for a while, and that he had feelings for men before, but had mostly seen me as just a friend until last night, when he realized that I was kind of sort of coming onto him in a really roundabout way. It’s funny, I didn’t really think of myself as coming onto him but I definitely made that statement hoping something would come of it…

Anyway I told him that first and foremost I valued our friendship and wanted to stay friends whatever happened between us. He agreed strongly. He asked me if I was okay with working out our feelings together (read: having sex until we figure out how we feel) and I told him yes. After all this heavy conversation we decided to play some CS:GO together like we usually do but we ended up in bed together instead. Afterwards we talked some more and discussed the possibility of a relationship. He said he feels like we know each other well enough that he wouldn’t feel like we were rushing in, and I agreed with him. He asked me to be his boyfriend, and I said yes! I’m so happy about it, too! I’ve never felt so attracted to anyone before.

We haven’t told anyone yet, but decided not to go out of our way to keep it a secret. The area we live in is reasonably tolerant and neither of our parents are anti-gay, which I am grateful for. I am worried about telling my sister, who has recently become a born-again christian and had a lot of horrible things to say about the supreme court ruling on FB. I’m also a little concerned about telling our other two friends, but I think after the initial shock wears off, they’ll come around.

Now, I’m not super duper concerned with slapping a label on my sexuality and calling it a day (thanks to you guys, I appreciate all the advice in that regard!) but the more I think about it, the more I think that I really am gay, or at least gay-leaning bisexual. It kind of feels like the best time to be realizing it with the gay marriage ruling happening. Every time I think about it I feel giddy.

tl;dr: Talked it out, sexed it out, we’re a couple now! Thanks for helping me stay sane, reddit!

(http://www.thegailygrind.com/2015/07/29/confused-college-bro-asks-internet-for-advice-after-spontaneous-gay-hookup-with-best-friend/)

*wipes away single tear*

(via lathori)