Anonymous asked: tell me more about the Animorphs DnD Au. I really just need an AU where they don't suffer and just have a good time

My buddy, me too right this second.  For those of you who are not aware, that comment is buried somewhere in this recap of Book 7.

All right, so, like, here’s a basic breakdown of how it all goes down.

It starts with Jake’s big brother Tom, who, like, listen, his parents went “keep an eye on your younger brother after school on Fridays” and Tom went “that’s cruel” and his parents went “don’t be an ass” and Tom huffed like a teenage asshole and rolled his eyes and went “FINE.”  So he decides that if he’s going to be mandatory babysitter for like four hours on Friday afternoons he’s going to do something amusing with his time, and he asks Jake if he knows anything about DnD.  Jake goes “nope!” with good-natured interest because this is his big brother, and Tom’s like “GREAT we’re going to do that recruit your friends”.  And Marco’s in on the spot because he’s a fucking nerd who’s probably done reading on DnD even though he’s never been able to actually play a campaign, and Rachel agrees on behalf of herself and Cassie because she’s exasperated with Jake and Cassie and this is an opportunity to force them to spend multiple hours together.  (Cassie is unexpectedly the major sticking point here, but her parents are like “PLEASE HAVE FRIENDS AND A LIFE OUTSIDE THE BARN” so ultimately she ends up going.)

On the first day, as they’re leaving school, Rachel grabs Jake by the arm and points subtly over his shoulder.  “Hey,” she whispers, “isn’t that Tobias?”  It is, in fact, Tobias.  Actively in the process of maybe fighting a bully for his backpack–if Tobias loses his backpack, no way is his uncle buying him a new one, and he’s also going to be in a hell of a lot of trouble, so yeah he’s gonna fight for it.  Jake and Rachel don’t know this at the time, but listen, Berensons are Berensons in any universe.  Jake ambles over, all cheerfully broad shoulders and stocky build just starting to settle into ‘teen’ rather than ‘kid,’ and silently menaces the bullies into stepping down.  And then he kind of subtly kidnaps Tobias to go with them.

(Ax moves into town a month later.  He’s living with his much-older brother who used to be a soldier and now he’s done with that and working as a computer…person.  Full disclosure, I don’t know that much about Comp Sci, but Elfangor Shamtul is a programmer and he’s the rising star.  Ax is living with him because *waves hand* better schools maybe?  IDK.  That’s how Ax shows up, and they kind of adopt him because he’s new and he joins their campaign.)

Tom, because he’s kind of a dick, declares that he won’t tell them anything about the plot, except that they all have to dual-class as modified Druids.  

(I have added a cut because this got kind of long.)

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sroloc--elbisivni asked: It's not 1 AM, but would a person curious about whether or not piracy would *work* for a star trek au be welcome in your askbox?

ALWAYS.

Okay so we’re going to talk AU where the Enterprise crew goes rogue.  Now, here’s the thing, the Federation just kind of wants to make friends with everyone.  They have a habit of going out, fighting wars, and then making friends with their erstwhile mortal enemies—the Klingons, the Romulans, the Cardassians, even the Borg (although admittedly only Seven of Nine and the Borgettes), and that’s just what I can think of off the top of my head.  The Federation isn’t perfect, but fundamentally they just want to hold hands with aliens and poke spatial anomalies with a big stick and build wildly implausible and unsafe technology and hit big red buttons to see what happens.  That sort of thing…just doesn’t really lend itself to piratical behavior within the Federation itself.  You get smugglers, naturally, and space pirates attacking the Federation, and even your odd freedom fighter/rebel corps (I’m thinking the Maquis from Voyager, although, hell, they end up part of a Starfleet crew too) but even in the AOS (and we’re doing AOS because I just saw Beyond again), with Admiral Marcus kicking around, I can’t really see the Enterprise crew going properly pirate.

(I mean, I guess they kind of do, several times in TOS, but only in the ultra-technical Mark Watney-esque sense of space piracy of “we’re taking the ship that’s not ours without permission.”  And they always do it to save everybody and let’s be real, it’s hard to punish the people who saved the Federation, it would be a bit hypocritical to go “thanks for the save, glad not to be dead, time for your court martial”.)

That being said, obviously now the solution is to figure out under what circumstances they WOULD go full pirate.  And in the AOS I’m going to say that the way that would happen would be if Admiral Marcus had a little more success with the whole Section 31 thing.  

So, let’s suppose that he did, and Marcus might have died with the Vengeance but Section 31 sort of slowly took over Starfleet, as these things tend to do, and the Enterprise is out on their five-year mission so they don’t realize anything’s wrong because they’re pretty far out into uncharted space and even subspace signals get weird after that kind of distance.

And then the Enterprise comes home, cruises into spacedock, and the crew is dropped into a Terran Starfleet that…they don’t recognize anymore. Things are stiff with protocol, there are massively lethal torpedoes being integrated into the new ships, half the science complexes have been annexed by weapons research, McCoy’s highly alarmed by the sort of questions he’s being asked about the new species he has records of, and the Security officers are being issued some very large phaser rifles.  Let me tell you a thing: Jim and the bridge crew ain’t pleased with this development.

Between Spock, Jim, and Chekov, they hack into the ‘Fleet database and discover the plans for the next mission of the starship Enterprise.  And their response is “Nope.”  The Enterprise crew is loyal unto death to their captain—hell, he died for them already, they’re not in a rush to forget that—so when he summons them quietly to an out-of-the-way location and tells them that Starfleet is planning to start a war, they believe him.  And when he asks “Please help me stop this” they agree, readily and gladly.

And then they steal a ship.  They steal their ship, because when Captain James Tiberius Kirk leads his own crew onto his own ship, no one thinks to stop them, until Scotty’s dismantling the tracker they slipped into Engineering and Sulu’s punching it and the Enterprise is soaring away.

And then…well.  I suppose then they have a war to stop and a Federation to evade and a Starfleet to fix.  They refuse to take off their uniforms, even after the fourth time they’re accosted by another ‘Fleet ship and barely escape alive—they are Starfleet, the real Starfleet, and they will prove it.  They’re wanted criminals, according to the Federation, run rampant under the command of a lunatic captain.  Every scrap of incriminating information about Jim Kirk is dragged out of the mothballs and splashed across every news source in the quadrant—did you know he was a repeat offender in Iowa?  Did you know he had a record of violence and aggression?  Did you know he destroyed property?  And once the Enterprise is really getting to be a problem, they crack open the classified files and there’s whole new surge of questions.  Did you know he was on Tarsus IV?  Did you know he admitted to murdering guards there?  Did you know that his psych eval afterward said he’d never really recover?  Did you know, did you know, did you know? 

The Federation, the point is, is officially on the hunt.

Unofficially, though…well.  They’ve escaped an awful lot of brigs and shiplocks—all though underhanded trickery and violence, their ex-guards are always quick to point out. See, they have the footage to prove it, look, the Enterprise crew is crafty and tricky and crazy and dangerous.  And there were problems with the lock, with the cuffs, with the shiplock, can’t the Federation keep their own people in good quality tech?  Naturally no one would help the Enterprise, they’re wanted criminals, they’re dangerous, they’re pirates.

That brig door has been broken for years.

They’re pirates with a weird habit of helping stranded ships and going on strict rations so they can share their food and figuring out ways to save whole cultures from plagues and negotiating treaties, though.  The worlds that are part of the Federation territory learn to fear their own ships, but the Enterprise…she’s their savior. The names of the crew are whispered among the people on the ground, Kirk and Uhura and Spock and McCoy and Chekov and Sulu and on and on and on. She’s always oddly well-stocked for a pirate ship, never really risks starvation.  Her dilithium chambers are always full—must be stealing from old wreckage and defeated enemies, of course.

The Federation’s upper echelons hunt the Enterprise down.

The Federation’s people love her.  They call her the Silver Lady, or the Lady of Starlight, or Lady Luck.  

And everywhere she lands, her crew says “We will fix this.  We will stop this.  This is not what Starfleet should be, we are what Starfleet should be, and we will make this better.”

Anonymous asked: Empress Amidala for the meme, please?

suzukiblu:

suzukiblu:

  • Luke and Leia have exactly zero percent fear response to sensing the Dark Side. This will definitely never backfire on anyone ever. 
  • The handmaidens regularly take turns going on missions with Vader. Usually there’s two of them; there’s almost always at least one. Padmé slightly hates herself for sending them, but has no intention of stopping sending them. She hates herself a lot more for a lot of other things she’s still doing. The handmaidens don’t answer to Vader and Vader doesn’t answer to the handmaidens, but they DO occasionally remind him what Padmé said in the briefing. 
  • Padmé has nightmares every time that Vader is too far away to sense her having nightmares. She has no idea if this is because that’s when she has the room to or if it’s just because he’s out of her reach, and she doesn’t want to know either way. 
  • I may have mentioned this before but OH MAN, does Vader feel SO CONTENT in the Dark. Like, it is warm and soft and cozy as FUCK to him. He loves it. It’s GREAT. Which, well, he’s probably accessing it through mostly positive emotions, barring some murder-rages and the like, so that should probably make sense, buuuut that also means he’s fueled more than a few horrible slaughters on the power of love, lol. Not even in the VENGEFUL AND PROTECTIVE sense, either, just literally the soft happy feeling of Padmé’s lips pressing to the corner of his mouth or the twin’s little hands in his. 
  • Eventually, Padmé is accidentally going to genuinely injure Vader in bed. It is not going to go well. The WAY in which it is not going to go well remains up for debate. 

ohhhhhh my gooooddddddddd yessssssss padme padme PADME oh god how does she eventually injure him i’m dying to know DYING I SAY the twins who are so calm about the dark side HELL YES AND SOMEDAY THAT GOES HORRIBLY HORRIBLY AWRY and on that day some people probably learn that yes darth vader and his handler his empress are terrifying and their children sunshine-sweet luke and wild laughing leia are worse because some people lay a hand on luke and leia flies into a rage that would make her father shudder someone touches leia and luke goes cold and hard and bright and lethal as plasma and the whole time where is there to fall when you have grown up standing beside the darkest creature in the universe his lips on child-soft cheeks and his hands holding you up where is there to fall after that luke and leia are nothing the jedi could have foreseen because they’re raised by the darkest beings in the universe (one by choice one by force and Force) and they’re…not light side but they’re not quite fallen either i love this au so much SO MUCH

I genuinely don’t even know what I wanna do with Padmé accidentally injuring Vader, Padmé accidentally injuring Vader is just SO MUCH POTENTIAL DOOM and SO MUCH POTENTIAL AMAZING

But okay, I see you about the twins being fucking terrors when the other one is hurt, and I raise you the twins when one of their PARENTS is hurt. Because Vader is the Dark, to them, he is the vicious protector that is the monster under all the other children’s beds, and Amidala is untouchable, immovable, a universal constant that cannot be broken. Vader is the rock and she is the hard, hard place that he is about to smash the galaxy against, always. One of THEM gets hurt–seriously, really, DANGEROUSLY hurt? Somebody puts a lightsaber to Vader’s neck to make him pay for his crimes or a blaster to Amidala’s head in a play for her crown? 

HA. HA. HA. FUCKING GOOD LUCK, BUDDY. 

Tags: empress amidala anakin skywalker star wars *croons* i love this au so much once upon a time there was a prince and a princess and they were adored by all who saw them because what else can you do with the children of a queen from all the tales and a dragon from all the warnings (do YOU want to face the consequences of not adoring them?  do YOU?  no you do not i did not think so) and they grew up swathed in sunlight and stars and the warm soft shadows at their father's fingers and he murdered thousands in the name of their mother in the name of their kingdom in the name of THEM and their mother smiled and smiled and welcomed him with open arms and taught her children to lie and the queen and the dragon were everything strong and unbroken in the whole world and the prince and princess loved them very much and then one day a man--the desperate-angry-lost-grieving relic of some world struck in vader's wake--came to the palace and he waited for vader to be gone and he struck at the sword hand he struck at amidala and on the other side of the galaxy vader stopped in his mission and turned toward naboo and said 'something is wrong' and on naboo the prince and the princess slid through the castle to the room where the man was holding their mother and all the sunlight and shadows burned away until there were only stars and the man bled and died and leia stared down at him with cold fire in her eyes and luke kissed his mother and promised to protect her and padme oh padme padme takes a deep breath and looks at the destruction her children have wrought for her and she opens her arms and kisses their faces and praises their courage and their quick thinking (when vader returns there is only the blood stain on the floor being cleaned up by a droid) (he is so proud of his children his supernova girl and starfire boy) i have A LOT OF FEELINGS okay