- me: *is young boy*
- father: *takes me into city*
- me: *sees a marching band*
- father: son when you grow up would you be the saviour of the broken the beaten and the damned will you defeat them your demons and all the non-believers the plans that they have made because one day i'll leave you a phantom to lead you in the summer to join the black parade
- me: chill dad i'm trying to watch the marching band wtf
i love the White House being covered in rainbow lighting because it looks like a conservative fever dream of what would happen if The Gays accomplished their horrible, horrible designs. a black president sittin in The Gay House
(via punkrockpatroclus)
1800’s French Military Uniform
Today’s Military Uniforms
where did all the style go
where was the time when you could just
out-fab your opponents
do you really think it’s a good idea to take military advice from the French
REBLOGGING BECAUSE OF EVERYTHING OMFG
Historically the “style” died in 1914 because the French would wear bright blue and red uniforms and the British said “that’s a bad idea” and the French said “we look great” then they got sniped.
(via history-jokes)
she had a tough time getting out of the block pit
IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN I A BLOCK PIT THEN YOU DONT KNWO THE FEAR. IT SUCKS YOU IN DEEPER AS YOU TRY TO MOVE. IT’S LIKE THE MUGGLE’S DEVIL’S SNARE MAN.
YOU HAVE TO USE ALL YOUR STRENGTH TO GET OUT OF THOSE FUCKERS
OKAY
I HAVE BEEN IN ONE AND ITS LIKE SWIMMING IF YOU DON’T STOP MOVING YOU EITHER FLOAT OR SINK THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN
WE HAD THESE WHEN I USED TO BE IN GYMNASTICS AND I HATED THESE FUCKING THINGS THEY SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME
I ONCE GOT STUCK AT THE BOTTOM OF ONE OF THESE AND WHEN PEOPLE CAME TO LOOK FOR ME, I GOT STEPPED ON TWICE
so when i was seven i got stuck at the bottom of one and i blacked out. apparently it took them 45 minutes to empty the pit enough to find me. my therapist believes this is why i have claustrophobia.
At least she’s face up. The worst is when you go in head first. I’ve been pulled out by my toes several times.
#FRIENDS I HAVE SOME ADVICE FOR YOU#DO NOT TRY TO WALK OR SWIM OUT OF A BLOCK PIT#GET YOURSELF HORIZONTAL#AND THEN ROLL OUT#IT WORKS JUST LIKE TANK TREADS GOING OVER UNEVEN TERRAIN#ITS THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN GET SOME TRACTION AND NOT GET SUCKED BACK IN
YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST YOU UN-ATHLETIC FRICKERS
DONT PANIC
TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT
TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT
Reblogging for Transform and rollout
(via amusewithaview)
we have all read fanfiction that we shouldn’t have
just a few favorite tags
just open up tag viewer on this post and settle in with a snack cause ain’t nobody sleeping tonight, friends
installing tag viewer for this was the best decision i ever made
This is amazing
And then we have this innocent soul:
A few personal favorites:
(via adelindschade)
(Source: iraffiruse, via bleedingwillow96)
irzs:
pompeiian graffiti is truly my favorite thing to look through because there is such a range of expression
you go from this
to this
and this
(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)
if someone “fights like a girl” you should be absolutely terrified of them have ever seen a girl fight they’ll rip your fucking throat out with their hands while the guys are still doing that weird cobra posturing thing for five minutes
teachers are told to get in between boys when they’re fighting because once they lose eye contact they’ll calm down but teachers are told to stay out of the way of girls fighting because they will fuck your shit up
This is so accurate it hurts.
(Source: hellortexa, via thepainofthesass)
Actual Quotes from my Dad (An English Teacher)
- Dad: Why the hell did you put a comma there?
- Dad: Do you even know what a participial phrase is?
- Dad: Omg. He's like my favorite character of all time.
- Dad: Who should I dress up as for the movie premier?
- Dad: Hey are you awake? I know it's late, but you read Animal Farm, right? Yeah. I need you to read this report. I can't tell if I am just super tired or if this is actual bullshit.
- Dad: Alesha wouldn't be able to spell 'definitely' right if wrote it down for her. She would fucking erase it and then write 'defiantly', because she doesn't care. I hate her.
- Dad: I need you to bake brownies. I lost a bet.
- Dad: Omg. You cannot ship me with Gilcher. You know I don't like tattoos and he's like twenty-five. And for Christ's sake, he teaches math.
- Dad: Omg. Gilcher said the funniest thing today.
- Dad: Mrs. Ashworth and I have decided to start a band. It'll be called Great Expectations.
- Dad: It's like you didn't read the fucking book.
- Dad: Okay. So this week you're reading this book I stole from Mrs. Ashworth's. It's like sixty pages long, but you'll love it.
- Dad: *puts books on my bed for me to read everyday and demands that I read them*
- Dad: My son doesn't like reading. I have not only failed him, but society. You aren't my son. Leave.
- Dad: Okay. So you're getting books for Christmas. All of you. I get discounts on them since I'm a teacher, and since I'm a teacher, it's all I can afford, so...
- Dad: Fucking standardized testing can go fuck itself in the ass.
- Dad: I have to teach for the required testing instead of what they really need to know.
- Dad: Fuck the government.
- Dad: Fuck the school board.
- Dad: Close the door.
- Dad: Charles Dickens was so fucking pretentious, and I hate him, but he also caused change, but he's such a Dick. Ha. DICKens.
- Dad: I love puns.
- Dad: People who say sarcasm is the lowest form of humor are assholes.
- Dad: Please shut up.
- Dad: Catching Fire was the worst book but the best movie and that feels weird.
- Dad: I wouldn't get so mad when you call me at school if you didn't change your ringtones to inappropriate rap music.
- Dad: I fucking hate Alesha. She asked what countries were apart of Austria-Hungary today and I almost told her to get out.
- Dad: You cannot visit my school in a dress that short. There are boys there.
- Dad: Barbra Parks is fucking Queen.
- Dad: I need you to make me a good, relaxing playlist for silent reading. I'm too lazy.
- Dad: If I have to watch two of my students grind on each other at one more dance, I will kill them both.
- Dad: They act like I care what they think.
- Dad: I hate homework.
- Dad: I have decided to become a politician.
- Dad: What's the one book with the guys and the one kills the other and the chick without a name who dies and the short angry man? Mouseman? Oh my fucking gosh. Of Mice and Men. I have failed.
