character concept: two people who have been reincarnated for thousands of years and have always found eachother but instead of being in love they just fucking hate eachother
While I was making cherry almond clusters, I was thinking about that post about Leia being Bail and Mothma’s big plan to deal with the Death Star, and now I’m sad that we never got to see Obi-Wan deal with Leia.
Can you imagine? He sees the message from Artoo and he’s like, “wow, she looks like Padme, wow, Bail and Breha did a great job, but she’s in trouble so let’s go.” And then he’s stuck on the Falcon with Han and Luke and he’s like, it will be so nice to talk to a calm, reasonable person again, because Han is amusing but annoying and Luke is–Luke is too many memories of his father and a sweetness that Obi-Wan doesn’t want to see stripped from him, and it’s not the boy’s fault Obi-Wan has all this baggage, but Leia will be refreshingly baggage-free.
And then he meets her.
omg poor obi wan
it’s not like he ever forgot about anakin’s temper and passion but I guess he never thought what that would be like to deal with after being raised by two consummate politicians and rebel leaders
And her impatience and willingness to shoot first and maybe ask questions later.
Obi-Wan would suddenly feel even more ancient and yet also twenty years younger all at once. And she would just be like, “Well, do you have an idea, General? I’d hoped you were smarter than these two moon jockeys you brought with you–my father speaks very highly of you. But if you need me to take charge, get out of the way.”
‘I just thought you’d be more like Padme’
*Leia huffs in annoyance, pulls a blaster out of nowhere and wades in to sort shit out*
‘Okay, I may have conveniently forgotten that about Padme’
Ha yes! And meanwhile, Han’s like, “whew, she’s finally yelling at someone else, you handle her, old man.”
And Leia is like, “I do not need to be handled!” each word punctuated by another blaster shot. “Do you moof milkers have a plan for getting out of here, or do I have to do that myself, too?”
Luke is following along like it’s the latest holodrama Uncle Owen never let him watch, half in awe and half jealous, though he’s not sure if it’s Obi-Wan’s or the princess’s attention he really wants.
just imagine the phone conversation offering him this gig
“hey Alan, we’ve got a thing for you” “yeah? hit me” “it’s for a Disney movie, you’d play a chicken” “a talking chicken? I could be into–” “it can’t talk” “…” “we just need someone to bawk really moronically” “are you fucking kidding me” “I know it’s a little–” “I WAS BORN FOR THIS ROLE. WHERE DO I SIGN”
In ancient Greece (469 – 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?”
“Wait a moment,” Socrates replied, “Before you tell me I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”
“Triple filter?” asked the acquaintance.
“That’s right,” Socrates continued, “Before you talk to me about Diogenes let’s take a moment to filter what you’re going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“No,” the man said, “Actually, I just heard about it.”
“All right,” said Socrates, “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?”
“No, on the contrary…”
“So,” Socrates continued, “You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you’re not certain it’s true?”
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, “You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?”
“No, not really.”
“Well,” concluded Socrates, “If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?”
The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.
It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was banging his wife.
Oh boy but also OH BOY!
I feel like there’s a very useful lesson here that I am struggling to articulate.
Sean Bean hiking up to the Lord of the Rings sets bc he’s afraid of helicopters is even funnier when you hear that Viggo Mortensen did the exact same thing, except Viggo’s reason for hiking to the sets was bc he wanted to be authentically travel-worn
Like literally you have Boromir doing this pretty cool thing bc he’s scared to death of the alternative while Aragorn just does it for The Aesthetic™
so my art teacher assigned us to do a chalk pastel still life of fruits n shit and I was like “no”
so I drew a banana instead.
and my teacher came by like “you need to have more than one fruit in your still life”
so I was like “k”
and so I put that cherry on top of the banana and titled it “Banana Split Without The Ice Cream Because Life Is Full Of Disappointments: By Fall Out Boy“ and I turned that shit in.
My art teacher just started laughing out loud in the middle of class
angel: youre so angry all the time i think you should get a hobby god: how about boating. Hows that for a hobby angel: sure. boating sounds fine god: aight *looks down towards earth* hey Noah i have an idea noah: is it a good idea god: it’s an idea
Marius:
Had you seen her today you might know how it feels to be struck to the bone in a moment of breathless delight! Had you been there today you might also have known how your world may be changed in just one burst of light! And what was right seems wrong and what was wrong seems right!
there’s a lot of people pushing back against “write what you know” as advice for aspiring authors and i would like to speak up in its defence for a moment because i just finished reading a mystery book where the murder weapon was a vicious fighting dog, and in the scene where it was finally revealed we found out that a) the person who had stolen it and was using it to kill people it had been keeping it secret from the police by locking it in his car boot, b) it was an irish wolfhound, c) once freed, it attacked the hardboiled detective across the yard instead of the gormless idiot who had been repeatedly stuffing it in a car boot, and d) its way of attacking the detective in this very dramatic finale was via mighty swipes of its sharp claws, which slashed through his skin like knives
i don’t think this author has seen a dog in his life. i think he might have confused them with lions? write what you know: if you’re writing an animal, be fairly confident that you could point to one in a small child’s pop-up book
I just drove my uncle and myself to the hardware store, and he said to me “Molly, I want you to know that being Catholic doesn’t change anything. If you someday get married, your wife will be welcome in this family. Don’t ever think otherwise.”
That is really nice, but I am not gay???
I’M LAUGHING SO HARD. SPOILER ALERT 2012 ME; YOU’RE SUPER FRICKING GAY.
