phoenix-ace:

tikkunolamorgtfo:

xmasterassassinx:

winterpunk:

xekstrin:

crackrockdebby:

d–i–y—-orgasms:

be-blackstar:

tikkunolamorgtfo:

WATCH THIS: MAN SHUTS DOWN ANTISEMITIC WHITE POWER PREACHER

One of my friends in the Boston area took this video and gave me permission to post it. She writes: “ I stood there for twenty minutes, easily. Hitler Youth kept trying to preach about “the evils of the Jews” and the big guy barely let him get a word in edgewise. At one point, the big guy yelled, “I will be here ALL DAY” and the crowd cheered.”

I promise this will be the best thing you see today.

Where’s a goddamn bullhorn when you need it?

wow that preacher is probably shitting his pants low key with some big ass biker that close to his face 

Caption for those who need it– the guy in the suit is saying shit like “all races must serve us as put here by God” and a lot of racist/anti Semitic drivel.

Every time he opens his mouth to speak though, the biker yells “AHHHHHHH!!!” Until the man in the suit shuts up again. When the man in the suit takes a breath and opens his mouth, the biker doesn’t even let him get started and just screams “AHHHHH”…. This happens a few times.

The guy in the suit plows ahead but the biker screams and says “No no no no!!!”

I love biker dude

Make racists afraid again.

Um, sorry, but the guy in the suit deserves to speak his opinions. How’d you like to get screamed at everything time you spoke about what you are passionate about? I’m not saying I agree with his opinion, but that doesn’t make shutting him down like this right. Freedom of Speech. Just agree to disagree and walk away.

1) Freedom of Speech means you have the right to speak your mind without being punished or censored by the government. It does not mean other people have to listen to you, and it does not mean they can’t yell over you if you’re saying something disgusting and inflammatory. The Biker Dude has just as much right to do what he’s doing as the Neo-Nazi. Nobody’s right is being infringed upon here.

2) The guy is “passionate about” hating and inciting violence against Jews. I’m passionate about information literacy, candle-making, and giving snuggles to my pet rabbit. There’s a fucking difference, there. 

3) “Agree to disagree” is something you say when two people can’t come to a consensus over whether or not The Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars movie. It’s not something you say when one person is Jewish and the other person believes Jews are a evil satanic cabal trying to enslave the white race who must be stopped at all costs. That’s not an “agree to disagree” topic. We don’t “agree to disagree” over the issue of whether or not Jews are people. We don’t “agree to disagree” over whether or not black people, immigrants, Muslims, LGBTQ folks, etc. are deserving of basic human rights. These things are not up for debate, and there is no middle-ground to be had with people who think otherwise. 

That man is doing what he should be doing.  And that is also how you ally.  You don’t just sit there letting a bigot air his opinions without any kind of resistance.  You don’t respect that bigot’s views, because this isn’t about opinions.  Someone’s literally using antisemitic, slavery-era arguments to say hat we were put on earth to serve white people.  And this election has emboldened all manner of white supremacists.  If someone can sit through that hatespeech and feel that the bigot’s rights need to be upheld, than maybe his views aren’t that repulsive to them after all. 

When you do what the biker does in the video you are refusing to treat those bigoted views as a legitimate thing that’s worthy of respect. That is the point.   You don’t want them to feel like you’re respecting them.  You don’t want them to feel safe.  You want to make white supremacists afraid that they’ll be ostracized and that they’re not surrounded by like minded individuals.  You want them to look ridiculous and you want them to remind non-white people that there are people who WILL put their money where their mouth is and actually stand up for them. 

And that biker has done a better service to marginalized people than most liberals who’ll sit there and tell us to “respect his opinion and politely debate him”.  Because I’d feel safer around him than around someone who will claim to “disagree” with a bigot but will protect his right to endanger me in the name of free speech. 

(via patroclvss)

doctorwithafryingpan:

copperbadge:

sci-fantasy:

copperbadge:

sanerontheinside:

fireandwonder:

Somewhere in the Leverage universe, there is a conspiracy theorist trying to prove that a certain minor league baseball player, a Canadian hockey player, and an American country music singer are all the same person. They have a file with various news printouts, and keep trying to upload them to a website, but every time they do, the site mysteriously crashes, threads go missing on discussion boards, and all electronic records of this man have simply vanished.

Three years later a man comes to Portland and settles down in this brewery, cuz somebody said it wasn’t a half-bad place to get food. And then he sees the chef. 

Turns out he’s a half-decent researcher and very good at finding people who desperately need help, and he eventually gets hired as a “marketing associate” for the pub.

The order’s wrong. He gets a job offer from Leverage International, that’s why he goes to Portland in the first place.

He doesn’t understand why they picked a brewpub for the interview (and what the hell is up with the house beer? Weird name, weirder flavor, but the server just smiles and says it’s an acquired taste and he may want to start acquiring it…), until the chef is his second interview of three.

“I wasn’t even looking for a job,” Bobby said, checking to make sure his charging cords were all secure in the flap of the laptop carry-on case as they pulled up to the airport drop-off zone. “I’m still not sure it’s not a scam.”

“Lot of effort to go to for a scam,” his sister pointed out, deftly flinging the car across three lanes to try and get a good spot at the curb. 

“I mean I guess even if it is a scam they paid for my flight out to Portland. I hear it’s a nice town.”

Keep reading

THIS IS FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC AND I WANT TO READ MORE!!!

(via windbladess)

bloodydifficult:

colorfulcandypainter:

goddessofidiocy:

goddessofidiocy:

“ezra miller is going to be the first lgbt+ person to play a superhero!!”

i mean yes he’s going to be the first to get a solo movie but

oh, and:



THANK YOU

wait rlly guys


Oh my God, y’all.

(via inkandash)

safetytank:
“ steppsful:
“ songofsunset:
“ xdominoe:
“ purplebloodedmajesty:
“ walkinchicken:
“ kotaku:
“ The End, by Alister Lockhart.
”
Bruh, if you don’t think that having historically significant events well documented from multiple perspectives...

safetytank:

steppsful:

songofsunset:

xdominoe:

purplebloodedmajesty:

walkinchicken:

kotaku:

The End, by Alister Lockhart.

Bruh, if you don’t think that having historically significant events well documented from multiple perspectives is a good thing, then idk what the hell u doin.

Besides, like, that is literally a Giant Monster Rampaging Through The Town. What the fuck is the everyday person gonna do other than Tweet/Instagram/Post about it going “It’s the apocalypse you guys! Eyyyy lmao #apocalypse #deathrising #nofilter”?

#like come on your cellphone may not defeat the beast#but it can gain you like 50000 followers before the skies start raining blood so#who’s the REAL winner here? (via @purplebloodedmajesty)

And heck, even if your own death is inevitable getting information out could help save other people, even if it can’t save you. ‘Here are 20 livestreams of the giant tentacle monster including how it moves and attacks, how can we beat it?’ is way more useful than ‘an entire city got wiped off the map and things smell vaguely of calimari idk man’

reblogging for this perfection: ‘an entire city got wiped off the map and things smell vaguely of calimari idk man’ 

Point #1 on this here article talks about Robert Landsburg, a photographer who realized he wouldn’t survive the eruption of Mt St. Helens (too close to outrun the ash cloud) and used his own body to shield & preserve the photos and recordings he’d been taking during the explosion

these surviving photographs are still CRAZY VALUABLE to this day for the rest of the volcanologist community, since actual recordings of an in-process eruption are so dang rare

on-site documentation of any major disaster is gonna be VITALLY IMPORTANT to the people who are tryna figure out how to prevent that shit

tl;dr have your phone out, make your death-by-kaiju worthwhile to the scientific community

(via ailleee)

fujoshi-kianna-leigh:

littlestartopaz:

ayellowbirds:

danielkanhai:

it would suck being a new immortal. like it’d be 2109 and people would go, “what was it like seeing ancient civilizations rise and fall like that? seeing the pyramids being built? watching the expansion and growth of the new world?” and i’d just be like, “no…no i was born in 1991. so like, wow i’m gonna see some cool stuff, but, i mean i’m not that much older than just a really, really old person, you know? phones were big back then. so big. but only for like ten years, then they got like, as good as they are now. uh. rhinos existed. don’t think i ever saw one in person. cool, good talk.”

even worse, imagine being an immortal who keeps missing stuff. “What was it like seeing the pyramids being built?”
“Fuck if I know, I was in Madagascar.”
“Oh, okay. Well, how was the Renaissance?”
“I fell down a hole in Scotland and people thought I was an enchanted well for four hundred years, it was over by the time I convinced someone to get me out.”

“What was it like seeing all the ancient civilizations rise and all that? Like did you watch the pyramids being built?”

“Nah, i was only born in 1991. But you know what i did see? The development of the technology age. When I was a kid, computers were big, bulky, and overheated constantly. Phones were attached to walls by cords and you didn’t know who was calling. If you connected to the Internet it was through your phone line too, so you couldn’t make calls and surf the net. They were just figuring out all that wireless and portability stuff. Cell phones were the coolest things. They had so many different styles and types until they came out with touch screens on phones. Then they kinda stopped coming out with really different styles.

“There was also this thing called a floppy drive. It was the main stage device but it only held a few mb of data. Then CDs. I remember having a 14 mb flashdrive and being cool cause it held so much.”

“What’s a flash drive?”

“… Memory stick. It was a memory stick.”

“When I was young there was a brick a mortar store where you got movies and games. It was like Netflix, Hulu and Steam put together. We called it: Blockbuster.”

“… what the fuck is a … block … buster?”

“It’s just what we called it. And back then, and remember it was over seven hundred years ago, gays couldn’t get married. Having a gay relationship could get you in big trouble.”

“What? You’re making this up. How could a relationship-”

“It just did. They could fire you from your job. They could kick you out onto the street.”

“But, but! You’d die!”

“They didn’t care.”

“… fuck …”

“And there used to be a place called Florida! It’s underwater now but-”

(via littlestartopaz)

stele3:

lynati:

lectorel:

hazel-the-space-ace:

sarsparillo:

thatwriterchickyouknow:

jezunya:

singoallala:

fieldbears:

hellisbucky:

fieldbears:

queercakes:

yeinns:

webelieveinyoukris:

Being gay is natural? Okay.

You have three islands. Divide them into groups of one. The straight island, the gay island, and the lesbian island. The straight island is going to reproduce and keep going strong for millions of generations to come. The gay and lesbian islands will both wipe out in not even one century. This isn’t just about religion or morals, it’s just simple common sense. Being gay is unnatural, and not just because God said so, but because you yourself wouldn’t even be born without a REAL natural man and woman. And no, there is no such thing as a lesbian bone marrow “thing” to have children. That’s a biased fact that came from a lesbian scientist who has false opinions. If it’s not a real penis or vagina, then it’s fucking false and you’re just opinionated by dumb facts. I’m done here. Read over what I said and if you still think that being gay is normal and natural, then I hope you achieve some common sense one day. Bye

Where is this gay island located.. asking for a friend

I just have SO MANY questions. Why were we all separated onto different islands? Did the government sanction this? If so, why? Why didn’t we revolt against this tyrannical government? Where are these islands? How were they chosen? Are the continents of the world abandoned? What kind of resources are on each island? Are they the same or different? Does each island have a right to form its own government or does the government that segregated us still rule? If so, what island do they rule from and how do they communicate with the other two islands? If they can communicate with the other two islands, can all three islands communicate with each other? If the straight people keep reproducing, won’t their island become overpopulated and their resources depleted? Islands only have so much space right? Do straight people stop having gay kids? Isn’t it a fact that, to date, straight people are the largest manufacturers of gay kids? If a gay kid is born on straight island, do they get sent to their appropriate island? Wouldn’t that aid in the re-population of gay and lesbian island? What about people who are attracted to more than one gender? Are they just lost at sea, floating aimlessly? Is the ocean full of listless pansexuals, floating nowhere? Or are they trapped in some sort of purgatory because they don’t fit on any one island? Are there trees on lesbian island? Is it conceivable that if there were, a large group of lesbians could build a boat? Have you ever seen lesbians around timber? If they built a boat, could they travel to gay island? How far apart are the islands? If they could travel to gay island, would they be able to collect semen, return to lesbian island, and repopulate the island? Would they be able to send some of those children to gay island? Do trans people exist in this world? If so, wouldn’t they be able to aid in repopulation? If the lesbians decided to declare war on the heterosexuals, would they be able to reach their island? On the way to heterosexual island, could the lesbians pick up the gays and scoop the floating bisexuals from the sea? If so, would they all be able to go and attack heterosexual island together, wiping out its people’s, stealing its children and taking all its resources? Does this fantasy world get you off at night? Please write back soon!

Speaking up from the pansexual archipelago: I too have these questions

Checking in from bisexual bay: The boats are nearly complete and are equipped with a special invisibility function. We attack at dawn

Fuck the questions, lemme on that boat, I’m coming with you

*random ace just floating away into the sky like a balloon*

I am so here for an asexual sky nation. We live in floating cities and master the wind currents. Newly minted ace youths are sent up to us in baskets suspended under hot air balloons. We breed giant birds to bear us through the skies, or else build ourselves wings and gliders to fly in their midst. The only land we know are the tallest mountain peaks and the world is a bright blue gem spreading out beneath us.

(And we will of course be providing air support for the impending attack on Straight Island)

OP’s nasty-ass post got turned into a goddamn sci-fi dystopian adventure and I’m so here for it.

oh my god Bisexual Buccaneers from Both-Ways Bay is both a porn tile and my new life goals

i’m an asexual homoromantic does this make me our young heroine torn between worlds

You spend part of your time on lesbian island, learning the stories, and traditions, and part of your time in the vast floating asexual cities, training with your eagle so that you can one day become one of the chosen few: the messengers, who carry letters and passengers between islands, jumping the heterosexual blockades. When you enter this select group, you’re assigned the job of collecting reports from spies pretending to heterosexual on straight island, flying in at the dead of night, risking discovery to collect vital intelligence. You fall in love with a pansexual girl who’s chosen to hide her orientation so she can aid the Resistance. At the climax of the novel, you swoop down from above on your giant eagle to rescue your lady love from a frenzied mob. As straight island burns in the background, you share a chaste kiss and cuddle while discussing the possibility of a mountain-top pansexual outpost.

IT CAME BACK AROUND AND IT GOT BETTER!

THE EAGLES ARE COMING THE EAGLES ARE COMING

AND THEY’RE ACE

All right so who’s writing the best selling novel?

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

roachpatrol:

whoopsrobots:

auroralynches:

into-the-weeds:

liberty-flight:

I’m reading up on chocolate frog cards in the Harry Potter universe, for reasons, and-

“Came up with the ever changing floor plan.” 

Really, Ravenclaw? Really?

“You know what this school needs? To not make any sense-”

“Rowena, I don’t think-”

“Exactly, you don’t think. I’m brilliant and this is perfect. Moving staircases, walls that think they’re doors-”

“But how will the students get to class?”

“They’ll have to figure it out.”

“…”

“Everyday. They will figure it out everyday. My students will live in a tower and navigate these stairs every time.”

“The stairs move! This doesn’t seem safe…I think I’ll put my common room in the basement, Rowena.”

“Ditto. I think the dungeons would be safer…”

“…My kids will brave these stairs. I’ll take the other tower.”

#Rowena snipes that ‘cunning’ means Salazar’s students should be able to handle the moving architecture#Salazar snipes back that ‘cunning’ means knowing when and how to avoid unnecessary bullshit#meanwhile Godric is just yelling PARKOUR! and Rowena is all That’s Not What I Meant#Helga would like her students to make it to class on time and without any broken bones#ninety percent of the reliable secret passages were a team effort by Helga and one of the others#to make sure the house elves could get around all right (via @mzminola)

#i feel like the collaboration was probably hufflepuff and slytherin#in the only time they ever worked together#helga: students and house elves can move safely!#salazar: more places to hide snakes#salazar is like we should make these accessible to people with no legs#helga is like i mean i agree but why are you being so nice about this#salazar is like no reason hey I’m just gonna make some of these rely on snake language for fun#do you think a fifty foot snake would fit in this passage asking for a friend (via @dinosauriaawesome)

i’m literally crying this is 100% what happened

(hey tumblr please don’t delete the previous people’s comments like you did the last time i added someone’s tags to a post mmkay)

No but that’s actually so clever okay like the people who live in the castle would get a general idea of the patterns and how to move around efficiently but like for anyone planning on attacking it would be impossible to infiltrate like how the hell do I attack the headmaster when I can’t even find the bathroom why the fuck am I in a chemistry supply closet okay these stairs went to the main hall but now I’m on my way to the broom closets holy fucking shit fuck leonard SAID the dorm was on the left of the three headed hippogriff but I’m here and it’s just a painting of a man with a donkey face is this a fucikgin joke leonard do you think this is funny because it’snot. its not okay siri how the hell do i get to the nearest anything “here is: the nearest painting” like fuck you siri 

actually considering all this, the changing floorplan probably worked exactly as designed when it came to the battle of hogwarts in the late 90′s. the invasion was towards the end of the term, so the students, especially the renegade students in hiding, had the full term to master getting around the school quickly, quietly, and efficiently. the invading deatheaters were generally their parents’s ages, and hadn’t been back to hogwarts in several decades, if they’d even attended at all. so, while the adult invaders easily outmatched the adolescent defenders in strength and skill, hogwarts was a lethal maze to the deatheaters, while it was home to the kids. 

rowena knew what the fuck she was doing. 

(via lupinatic)

pumpkinbother:

saberkane:

numb3r5ev3n:

coasttocoastlikebutteredtoast:

theskaldspeaks:

gothiccharmschool:

carlanime:

valancyredfern:

last-snowfall:

brigidkeely:

nick-bottom:

mephostophilus:

songofspoilers:

gildatheplant:

I feel that anyone who believes Romeo & Juliet is about some kind of Great and Timeless Love TM* needs to see this.

WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS TODAY IN MY SHAKESPEARE CLASS. 

If you go and actually read what Romeo says to Benvolio in the first scene, you will realize that he is only upset because HE WANTED ROSALINE’S BODY AND SHE SAID NO AND SO ROMEO WAS MOPING AND PITCHING A FIT ABOUT IT. Then, the second he lays eyes on Juliet, he’s basically saying

During the balcony scene, Romeo talks about how he scaled the wall of the garden to see Juliet. That is not romantic. That is disrespectful to her. This is a private area of the Capulet home, and Capulet built the wall around it to protect his daughter. This was a time when a woman’s virtue was the most important thing she owned. If Juliet was found with a man in this very private part of her home, everyone would think she was no longer a virgin, her reputation would be ruined, and it would be much harder, if not impossible, for her father to make a good marriage.

Speaking of good marriages, Count Paris is seen as the bad guy because he “comes between” Romeo and Juliet. Capulet had arranged for Paris to marry Juliet in 2 years time, when she would be 16, in a time when most women were already married and mothers by the time they were Juliet’s age at (almost but not quite) 14. Most fathers would have already had their daughters married by now, but he wants to wait two more years AND PARIS IS OKAY WITH THAT. Not only that, but Paris is young (her father could have had her married to a 60 year old man), titled (he’s a fucking Count), wealthy (again, he’s a count, which means Juliet will have financial stability), and, from what we see of him, he is a very good guy. Capulet could have done a LOT worse in choosing his son-in-law.

Finally, here’s something to consider: Juliet was 13, Romeo was 17. Their relationship lasted 3 days, defied their parents, and ended in the deaths of 6 people.

If I ever hear you say that Romeo and Juliet is the greatest love story ever told, I will bitch slap you.

That is all.

image

And then, in Shakespeare’s next play, “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” he basically went out of his way to make fun of the people who thought that Romeo and Juliet was so deep and romantic in writing the “Pyramus and Thisbe” sequence performed by a bunch of lousy, middle-aged men who saw too deep into it.

Rejected dude on the rebound initiates a murder-suicide, OMG GREATEST LOVE STORY EVER TOLD.

Bitch I have a degree in this, so you can fucking try to bitchslap me but I will punch you in the face, because you have serious genuine factual errors and reading comprehension FAIL.

Which is to say, without the nasty attitude, this post is actually wrong about a bunch of stuff.

POINT THE FIRST: Let’s start with the stuff about Juliet and Paris. Let’s also start with this “everything you ‘know’ is actually wrong” problem with the idea that sixteen was a normal marriage age.

It wasn’t. The average age of marriage in Shakespeare’s day and culture was MID-TWENTIES. Marriage of kids younger than that was something the aristocracy did, mostly to secure alliances, and was seen as kind of squicky. Even there, a lot of those young people stayed with their parents until their late teens. It was rare - not Unheard of, but rare - for girls younger than that to be encouraged to have children because, bluntly, IT TENDED TO KILL THEM, and that’s a waste of a good alliance.

Further, Italy was the place where you set stories when you wanted to get away with Ridiculous Edge Cases. You know how, like, _The King and I_ is set in “Siam” so these things can be pushed to their ludicrous and most violent edges? Same with setting shit in Italy. English audiences would go LOL THOSE CRAY ITALIANS AMIRITE and not get hung up on feeling insulted/etc. The fact that Juliet’s thirteen and Paris is going “younger than she are happy mothers made” and her dad’s giving in etc is SUPPOSED to be skeezy as fuck. Paris pushing for her marriage RIGHT AFTER Tybalt dies and, again, her dad giving in is SUPPOSED to look like they’re being assholes, because they ARE. Capulet threatening to throw Juliet out on the street when she doesn’t want to marry Paris isn’t supposed to be “normal”, it’s supposed to make him look like the pride-bound domineering asshole he is.

Same with the whole “walled up young woman” thing: that’s another “those fucking Italians, lol” touch.

Which brings us to POINT THE SECOND: Romeo and Juliet’s love affair didn’t kill no-fucking-body.

THE FEUD killed four people (Mercrutio, Tybalt, Romeo and Juliet) and Paris being a fucking gross and uncompassionate selfrighteous dick killed two more.

SO LET’S TALK ABOUT Mercrutio and Tybalt! The morning after the Capulet party, Tybalt wants to kill Romeo. He wants to kill him, not because of his cousin - as neither he nor anyone else has the FAINTEST IDEA that Romeo and Juliet are in love - but because Romeo showed up at the Capulet party the night before PERIOD.

One: Romeo didn’t even want to go to the party. Mercrutio insisted (and insisted, and insisted) that they gate-crash in masks. Two, Capulet, Tybalt’s uncle and the head of his family and THE GUY IN CHARGE basically told Tybalt to chill out, it’s fine. Tybalt’s devotion to The Feud is so intense that he’s ignoring that because of the ~*insult*~ Romeo has done the Capulets. Three, the Prince just said YESTER-FUCKING-DAY that if he caught anyone feuding again he was going to kill them.

Remember the previous day? When Romeo didn’t know Juliet from Eve nor she from Adam, but we opened the play with servants fantasizing about killing the other sides male servants and raping their female ones? Because of The Feud? Just checking.

Tybalt gives no fucks. Tybalt is going to avenge ~*his family’s honour*~ by at the very least beating the shit out of if not killing Romeo.

And you know what Romeo does *because of his love for and romance with Juliet?*

He refuses to engage. He says no, Tybalt, I know you hate me but I don’t hate you and I’m not going to pay attention to the insults you’re slinging at me, I apologize for wrongs I’ve done, let’s call it all fair. No, I’m still not gonna fight you even if you keep insulting me.

For love of Juliet, Romeo tries like crazy NOT TO FIGHT.

Mercrutio, on the other hand, either can’t stand to see Romeo insulted or thinks because he’s the Prince’s nephew he’s special and the no-brawling rule doesn’t apply to him, pulls out his sword and starts to fight. It’s IRONIC that in trying to stop Tybalt and Mercrutio, Romeo gets in the way of Mercrutio’s parry and gets stabbed, but it’s also Mercrutio’s own damn fault. His “a plague o’both your houses” speech may be very quotable and thunderous, but it’s also hypocritical as hell, considering how DELIGHTED he was to participate in their Feud for his own amusement right up till he got stabbed.

(Watch out for Shakespeare: he likes to do things like that.)

This, really, is the point of the entire prince’s bloodline in this play: they every damn one of them think they can just sort of ignore or deal lightly with the Feud, and the Feud gets them.

So that’s two for the Feud.

Then Juliet fakes her own death. Well, actually, after being told by her father she has no choice but to marry Paris whether she wants to or not, and RIGHT NOW, or he’ll physically throw her out on the streets to starve to death or whore herself, she shows up in Friar Lawrence’s cell saying “fix this or I will fucking kill myself.”

And Friar Lawrence is a coward and fails her. Because here’s the thing: she and Romeo are married. End of story. All Lawrence has to do to FORCE the Prince to get involved and give them protection (or for that matter the local bishops and even the pope) is walk out there and say “they’re married, I witnessed it, we’re done.”

The thing is, this is entirely likely to get the FRIAR into a metric shittonne of trouble. So instead he concocts this huge complicated bullshit plan, and to the appearance of everyone except Lawrence and Juliet, she dies. Then Romeo thinks she’s dead so he kills himself, then she finds him dead and kills HERSELF and wait why was this all a problem in the first place?

OH RIGHT, because of the Feud. (Otherwise frankly the Romeo/Juliet match is fucking AMAZING and would give both families the economic power to dominate Italy. Seriously they’re idiots.)

Now, on his way in to kill himself Romeo also kills Paris and Paris’ servant, in both cases in self-defense. They’re there because despite Juliet rejecting him Paris basically feels a proprietary ownership of her DEAD BODY because her father promised him her living one. Basically.

Just think about that for a while. Think of how GROSS that is. Because it’s really gross.

Those are the only two deaths you can sooooort of blame on the actual romance. I feel they’re more appropriately blamed on patriarchy, but whatever makes you happy.

But. The point is: THIS PLAY IS ABOUT HOW THE FEUD KILLS PEOPLE. Like it literally tells us this in the prologue. “Two households, both alike in dignity/in fair Verona where we lay our scene/from ancient grudge break to new mutiny/where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.” Aka “so these two idiot families start brawling and killing each other over an old grudge.” The relevance of the children is not that they were in love: it’s that they were BECAUSE of their parents DOOMED. That’s what “star-crossed” means. It means “you are fucked”. It means “fate says you can’t have this.” Their “misadventured, piteous overthrows” - aka their fucked up, incredibly sad efforts - “doth with their death bury their parents’ strife.”

This is a tragedy about how THEIR PARENTS STRIFE killed them. They’re doomed from the start. And you know what Romeo and Juliet’s romance - their “death-marked love”, which is to say “the love that will get THEM killed” - ACTUALLY FUCKING DOES?

It saves Verona.

“The fearful passage of their death-marked love/and the continuance of their parents’ rage/WHICH BUT THEIR CHILDREN’S END, NAUGHT COULD REMOVE/is now the two-hours’ traffic of our stage.”

Again, translating for those who need it: this really sad and fear-inducing story of their totally fucking doomed romance, and how NOTHING BUT THEM DYING would make their parents stop fighting, is what we’re going to show you in the next two hours.”

People were already dying from the feud. They were being injured. Property was being damaged. Brawls were spreading out and killing innocent bystanders. *The Montagues and Capulets were effectively having a gang war.* What Romeo and Juliet did was *make it stop*. Except that everyone involved, the Prince included, had their heads so far up their asses that nothing but their children killing THEMSELVES because of THE PARENTS’ ACTIONS (or in the Prince’s case two of his relatives getting killed along the way) could make them realize oh shit, this is not good, and make peace.

The Prince reiterates this in his closing remarks, in case anyone missed it, even blaming himself: “and I, for winking at your discords, too have lost a brace of kinsmen.”

Modern readers should actually hone in on this pretty well, because we’re still doing this shit. The publicized suicides of queer kids, of girls who were raped, of trans kids - notice how there are all these things a lot of society was fucking ignoring until those happened?

(And actually killing yourself explicitly to bring attention to the wrongs and abuses being done to you that you cannot escape was a cultural norm even then, and can be found behind a ton of ghost stories and revenge stories. Shakespeare knew what he was doing.)

POINT THE THIRD: let’s talk about Romeo and Rosalind vs Romeo and Juliet.

Some context: Shakespeare is not a boy band. Shakespeare is Fall Out Boy. NEVER take anything he’s saying at surface level. His most famous cycle of sonnets is actually a super bleak charting of the failure of love between an older and younger man that sort of devolves into this sordid triangle between Narrator, Golden Youth and Dark Lady, and that whole “my mistress’ eyes” sonnet is nowhere near as complimentary or appearance-positive as people seem to think it is. (The Narrator - who is a character in his own right - is tearing down other women, not elevating his mistress.)

So there was this guy named Petrarch, who popularized the sonnet to HIS format (in Italian) by writing a whole bunch of poems to Laura, who was unobtainable, not interested in him, and eventually dead. THIS BECAME THE FASHION: devoted love and adoration to this woman you couldn’t have, who didn’t want you, and perferrably died chaste so you could idealize her without fear she’d do something human. And Romeo is ABSOLUTELY being a Pining Petrarchan Lover with Rosalind. He’s also writing cliche drivel so cliche it’s MEANT to sound like cliche drivel, to a woman we never even see on-stage.

Then there’s Juliet. And you know what the BIG difference is with Juliet?

Juliet is right there. She’s *PARTICIPANT*. She is matching him passion for passion and lust for lust and, in poetic form, EVEN LINE FOR LINE. Their speech together COMBINES into sonnets - SHAKESPEAREAN sonnets, aka the form Shakespeare made up for himself because he thought Petrarch’s wasn’t as cool. And suddenly cliches are being thrown out. The cliche was the mistress being the moon: fuck it, Romeo says, Juliet is the SUN; the cliche was to swear by the moon, the stars, and Juliet says no don’t do that, swear by YOU. They even get into blasphemy. Juliet is the OPPOSITE of a Petrarchan mistress: she is right there, she is SO right into Romeo right back, she’s alive, and the more he encounters her and the more she’s human and wanting and silly and joking the more he adores her. He loves her MORE after they’ve fucked, after Juliet is manifestly no longer the chaste unachievable idol.

Is it true love? Who knows. They’re both babies, and it’s a play: conventions of the theatre DO allow for people to fall in love at first sight. But whether it’s love or just infatuation, the point is they’re both right there, they’re both feeling it equally and as partners, and Juliet gets to be a living participant with her own desires.

(Like seriously her wedding-night speech before she finds out Tybalt’s dead is pretty damn sexy, guys.)

And whether or not it’s love or infatuation the play and the text very clearly come together to indicate that what’s between Juliet and Romeo is DIFFERENT than that crap with Rosalind.

POINT THE FOURTH: And minor, but still important - R&J and the Dream were almost certainly written more or less at the same time, and it’s of note that the Play Within The Play in this case both STARTS OUT lacking all the other context thats attached to Romeo and Juliet’s story as I laid out above, but that Bottom et al go on to strip it more and more and more of its meaning and context as they go on, rendering it nothing more than silly melodrama. The joke, thus, is rather more complex.

SUMMARY: Romeo and Juliet is a stunningly rich play that is mostly about how feuds fuck people over badly and how if you have to wait until YOUR KIDS OFF THEMSELVES to figure that out you deserve to lose your children. Romeo and Juliet are victims of the feud and its mindless death-lust, not perpetrators of death on others. They’re not supposed to be figures of ridicule OR representatives of True Love: they’re supposed to make the audience go “oh BABIES, no, you’re going to end so badly” and then be sad when they do.

Also common knowledge about social practices of the past is usually wrong. Thank you and good night.

THIS. ALL OF THIS. I get so incredibly sick of all the crap surrounding Romeo and Juliet, and the “girls got married at 13 normally” bs that I see everywhere, and all the rest. THANK YOU.

Also, those “stupid bitch” videos are incredibly sexist. The fact that they pulled it out over Desdemona should have made that immediately clear. Victim-blaming misogynistic bullcrap. Shakespeare was more of a feminist than this guy. Yes, the man who wrote “The Taming of the Shrew” was more respectful and understanding of women. That male “stupid bitch” character is nothing but a superior, smirking douchebag who’s pretending to “protect” women by throwing gendered insults at and willfully misunderstanding them.

Reblogging for the last two comments,

All of the commentary from last-snowfall and valancyredfern is GOLDEN. 

(Plus, the Some context: Shakespeare is not a boy band. Shakespeare is Fall Out Boy. NEVER take anything he’s saying at surface level part made me cackle with glee.)

Best romeo and juliet commentary on this site. 

This is one of those posts where you start reading thinking you know something only to have your fucking mind blown with so much really neat information and context and you feel like you literally got smarter reading it.

Reblogging for all the commentary. Debate like this is why I’m glad the internet is a thing.

PREACH!

Floating away with love over the later comments to this post. This is how you fucking READ.

(The first comment vs the rebuttle remind me so much of how things go with Harry Potter meta. Someone writes some hyper-critical meta about HP, which shows only middling knowledge of the text and completely ignores anything to do with theme, and someone who actually understands the books comes in and blows their bullshit away.)

I will freely admit that I make cracks about various Shakespeare plays with the best of them and R+J isn’t really a personal favorite (although like come at me with your Midsummer and Twelfth Night and Hamlet and Henry, William, I am READY, the Saint Crispin’s Day speech is unnecessarily great and I need it tattooed on my eyeballs), but honestly at the end of the day I’m like “Okay but it’s still Shakespeare and you’re only allowed to make jokes if you can also extrapolate on the material correctly.”  Aaaaand to that effect, this was a religious experience.

(via lupinatic)

Why is the “historical realism” thing always rape?

kiriamaya:

roachpatrol:

jessicalprice:

animatedamerican:

drst:

darthmelyanna:

drst:

A couple weeks ago The Mary Sue announced they weren’t going to cover “Game of Thrones” any more after yet another female character being brutally raped. The thread is still being invaded by trolls periodically, and there are more than 12,000 comments on the article, which is a site record and probably an internet record. (12K comments because a single website said “We’re not going to recap or promote this show any more.” Baffling.)

Tons of trolls have thrown out the “but THINGS WERE JUST LIKE THAT BACK THEN!” argument ad nauseum. Which is total bullshit, of course. Now with the season finale of “Outlander” (which, spoiler, also included rape) the trolls are coming back.

I just want to ask, why is it whenever producers/directors/writers want to demonstrate “gritty historic realism” it’s ALWAYS RAPE? It’s always sexual violence toward women/girls.

You know what would be gritty historic realism? Dysentery. GoT has battles and armies marching all over the place. You want to show “what things were like back then”? Why aren’t we seeing 500 guys by the side of a road puking and shitting their guts out from drinking contaminated water while the rest of the army straggles along trying to keep going? Or a village getting wiped out by cholera? Or typhus, polio or plague epidemics? 

You want to show what it was like back then for women? Show a woman dying of sepsis from an infection she caught while giving birth. Show a woman coping with ruptured ovarian cysts with nobody know what it is. Breast cancer that the audience will recognize immediately but the characters think is some mark of the devil or some shit.

But no, it’s always rape. And we all know why that is. Because these douchecanoes that do this, though they’ll deny it, think rape is sexy. Because they can’t make a modern set story where women get raped in every god damned episode without being called monsters. So they use “but but historical realism!” to cover their sexism (see “Mad Men”) and misogyny. Then they tell us “That’s just how it was back then!” with the clear implication “Shut the fuck up bitch, because that could be you  and you should be thanking me that it’s not.”

Can we propose a rule for “realistic” historical fiction/fantasy? Twelve graphic cases of dysentery for every one graphic rape?

^^ I like this idea.

You know, they could deny that they find rape sexy, and they might even believe their own denials.  But the point is that they clearly don’t think of rape as something distasteful enough and disgusting enough to omit.

And you know what, I’m not even gonna insist on the dysentery.  Just this: if you’re going to include rape on the basis of historical accuracy, none of your female characters are allowed to have shaved legs or armpits.  And all of your characters have to have terrible teeth – yellowed and worn and crooked, because nobody’s getting braces or regular visits to the dentist – with at least a few teeth blackened or missing for every character over the age of thirty.

Of course, if your reaction to blackened teeth and hairy armpits is “ugh, no, sure it might be historically accurate but it’s gross, nobody’s going to want to watch that" and you don’t have the exact same reaction to rape, you might want to think about why that is.

Not to mention that some of the societies portrayed, or inspiring similar fantasy settings, actually had STRONGER protections against and consequences for rape than the ones we live in today. 

Accounts from Vikings’ contemporaries recount a lot of raiding, but not a single case of rape. Viking law didn’t treat rape as a property crime, and the penalty for it was outlawry, which was essentially a death sentence. Medieval English law prescribed that rapists be castrated and blinded. And the sagas contain vanishingly few references to rape (and violence against women is usually followed with comeuppance–often death–for the perpetrator). 

TL;DR: History wasn’t one giant rape-fest, and in fact, members of the cultures high fantasy is usually based on may have actually been more disapproving of rape than we are today (imagine trying to pass a bill making rape a capital offense today!). 

These writers include rape because they like writing about rape, not because history dictates it. 

brief quibble: poor people in pre-industrial societies had much better teeth than poor people today, because they didn’t eat or drink refined sugars, only fruit sugars and the occasional bit of honey. european peasants would have crooked teeth, by hollywood standards, but by and large white and healthy teeth, even into old age. peasant girls would have had very nice smiles. 

and very hairy armpits. 

While we’re at it, can we expand this rule to every “gritty”, “realistic” fiction thing? Because post-apocalyptic fiction does this exact nonsense too.

(via ailleee)

queer-deadpool:

where is your god now, homophobic fanboys? lmao (x

(via yea-lets-do-this-shit)