at work I called out his coffee order and he was like “that’s not how women usually call out my name ;) ;) ;)” so I just blinked and said “I’ll try to sound more disappointed next time then” then walked away
All it does is show me you have a superiority complex and deep rooted classist tendencies. I’ve been a waitress, a barista and a sales associate, so your talking down to others just tells me at one point you would’ve talked down to me. This guy in the queue tried to buy me a coffee today, after ripping into the guy behind the counter about his skills and his job. Don’t care what people do for a living, if you don’t treat ‘em like (very important) people when you deal with them, we can’t be friends.
“A person who is nice to you but cruel to the waiter isn’t a nice person.”
I don’t understand how people don’t get this
It is terrifying. It means if you don’t adhere to their demands or if you make on little mistake, they can turn on you. I don’t deal with people who are nasty to others.
(It is a busy Saturday night. During the dinner rush, I have been dealing with a table of two 20-something year old men. The blonde one has found something to complain about every time I’ve walked by while the brown-haired one just blushes and stays quiet. They’ve finished their meal.)
Blonde Man: “Are you new here?”
Me: “No, sir. I’ve been a waitress here for two years and three years at [other restaurant] prior.”
Blonde Man: “Then you have no excuse for how terrible this service was. The salad was wilty, and the entree was way too cold, and you were nowhere to be found. Plus, this place is far too noisy; I could barely hear myself speak! Honestly, I get better service at a fast food place.”
Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. While there isn’t much I can do about the noise, I did offer to bring you different food before, but you said no.”
Blonde Man:*waves me off* “Just bring me the check, and try not to be so slow about it for once.”
(I go and get the check, but when I return, the brown-haired man stands up and hands me a $20 bill.)
Brown-haired Man: “Here, this is your tip. He wasn’t going to give you one. As a former waiter myself, I thought you were doing a perfectly fine job. My food was great, and the service was fast even though you’re so busy right now.”
(He turns to his blonde companion.)
Brown-haired Man: “People like you made my job so much worse, especially for making us work that much harder for no tip. So thanks for the meal, but you can go ahead and delete my number because there will be no second date. And by the way,potjevleesch is supposed to be served cold, you idiot.”
(With that, he left the restaurant without his date. It made the whole night worth it, to see that blonde man speechless for once.)
im at my friends house, she’s pretty rich. like really rich. but we have been friends for like 12 years. But she tells me to order pizza and that she will pay. So hell yeah ll oder pizza. She said she will be right back she has to go to the store and tosses a small box at me. She said there should be enough for a tip in there. and that she wouldn’t care if i pocketed the rest, its just been sitting around anyways.
im a bit confused but figure there is money inside so whatever
what the fuck thats a lot for pizza.
WHAT THE FUCK SHE TOSSED $2,000 AT ME LIKE IT WAS NO BIG DEAL FOR ME TO ORDER PIZZA BTCH IM BUYING ME 6 PIZZAS AND TAKING 5 HOME SO I CAN ACTUALLY EAT FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE.
BITCH! THIS PIZZA DUDE GETTING THE BEST DAMN TIP OF THEIR LIFE
YOU KNOW WHAT IM TAKING THAT PIZZA DELIVERY PERSON OUT FOR A FUCKING PARTY. YOU FUCKING TOSS THIS AT ME YOU DAMN WELL KNOW IM GOING TO GO BUY ME A HOUSE AND PAY OFF STUDENT LOANS AND INVEST IN THE STOCK MARKET AND BUY SOME GOLD AND SAVE SOME RARE WILD LIFE AND HAVE ENOUGH LEFT OVER TO NOT ONLY BE SET FOR RETIREMENT BUT TAKE THAT FUCKING PIZZA PERSON OUT FOR THE NIGHT OF THEIR LIFE.
i think this may just be the greatest string of tweets in the history of mankind
TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST I REMEMBER EVERYTHING BUT READING THESE TWEETS AGAIN AFTER SO MANY MONTHS IT ALMOST FEELS SURREAL LIKE “I CANT BELIEVE THIS PERSON IS ME”
my brother is sitting in the chair in my room studying a practice test thing for his final test before he becomes a fully certified EMT tomorrow and he’s mumbling some of the questions out loud and he just went “a child has fallen from a monkey at school…” and he just got dead quiet and stared at the wall for like a solid minute with the most stricken look on his face before he whispered “there’s no protocol for monkeys”
bro
bro it means monkey bars
now he’s googling “child falls from monkey” and apparently the only thing that pops up is Fall Out Boy’s “Thnks Fr th Mmrs”
I M L AHUGNI N G SO H ARD HE WENT INTO THE KITCHEN LIKE 5 MINUTES AGO AND STARTED A CONVERSATION WITH MY MOM AND I HEARD HIM JUST STOP MID SENTENCE AND THEN SHOUT “FUCKING MONKEY BARS”
Fun fact my boyfriend plays this game called Magic the gathering at this comic book store and I started going with him and we noticed that the other guys started saying really sexist and offensive things around me since I’m the only girl so he immediately took me home and taught me how to play so now I go there to play and beat all of them.
They spend thousands of dollars on decks to win and I picked out cards that my boyfriend already owned and made my own deck and go there and win one guy literally threw his deck in the trash and walked out of the store screaming
if you dont have me on facebook you are probably not missing out on any posts but the comment section is important too lmao
I went to the Renaissance faire dressed as a warrior. I had a real sword with me, too. I was standing (in character) next to a sword-fighting ring, where kids of all ages got the chance to pick up a sword and challenge the champion. Some woman walks by, with her little girl. The girl starts walking towards the ring, saying she wants to fight. But the mom pulled her away hella sharply, and was like, “That’s for boys.” You don’t want to be a BOY, do you?” And the girl looked around and saw me. I think she thought I was a boy; I had my hair in a ponytail, and was wearing a hood. So she comes up to me and asks me, “Do you think girls can be fighters, too?” And her mom looks like she’s silently gloating. Like she thinks I’m going to say no. So I take off my hood, untie my hair so that it flows freely, and kneel before her. And I’m like, “Milady, anyone can be a fighter.” I swear, the look on that mother’s face made my day.
This post was good but then it got better
Okay, this is a slight topic diversion, but in response to the above comment. I’ve volunteered at the CT Ren Faire for years now. For the last 5 or so I’ve worked in the game section, and we have a game similar to the above comment called “Smite the Knight”. I’ve been in the ring before, it’s a ton of fun getting to run around with the kids. The main goal is entertainment. Have a good shtick, keep the crowd engaged, and let the kids have a good time.
In both work and observing, I have learned something about kids. A lot of parents try to get their boys to go fight. Of the young ones that do, they tend to be shy. You get the ones who just swing the boffer swords around with no regard for life, but, mostly, they’re reserved. It’s adorable. I mean, they’re kids.
But the girls. THE GIRLS. Holy crap. I swear, the pinker the dress, the more taffeta and glitter…the more intensity. I remember, the first year I worked there, one girl came in, grabbed the biggest sword she could, and WENT TO TOWN on our knight. Lifted it over head, let out this primal scream and mowed him down. Homeboy is 6′2″, she was FIVE. And once he was in the fetal position (He was fine. It was for show.) on the ground, she stopped, put her foot on his chest, and yelled “I AM A FIERCE PRINCESS!!”. Later in the day when she walked by a couple of use yelled “Ah! It’s the fierce princess!” and she stopped and flexed. It was the best, and I will never forget that girl.
OK STORY TIME I WAS BABYSITTING THIS 6 YEAR OLD BOY AND WE ATE POPSICLES, THIS WAS THE JOKE ON MINE AND I TOLD IT TO HIM, BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOU DO WITH JOKES AND SO LIKE A DAY LATER I GET THIS CALL FROM HIS MOM AND SHE SAYS “My son told me an inappropriate joke today, and he told me he got it from you” AND I WAS SUPER CONFUSED??? SO I ASKED HER WHAT THE JOKE WAS AND APPARENTLY HE SAID “how do skeletons communicate? They bone each other” I AM SO DONE
saying things to children is like playing the world’s riskiest game of telephone
So I tried to recreate this, because I knew the responses would be different, and consequently realized that it’s either extremely old or faked, as Cleverbot auto-capitalizes and auto-punctuates your sentences for you if you do not. Oh well.
In light of that fact, here’s my go at cybersexing Cleverbot.
So I decided to try it
alrighty, let’s go one more step
i’M ACTUALLY CRYING.
THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY
Story of my life
that’s a first.
I LAUGHED HARDER THEN I HOULD HAVE AND I WAS IN PUBLIC
I wasn’t gonna reblog this but I lost it at the last one
