Rise Up, Oh Heart, For There is Another Battle to Win

So my mom told me a story…

hebrideansky:

marvelssickandtwistedqueen:

asunsetdream:

theguilteaparty:

theguilteaparty:

Growing up, my mom and her siblings would make banana bread every week.

Literally every week since the first one of them learned how to make it, they started making banana bread- lo and behold though, they liked it with walnuts and they all knew their dad hated walnuts.

So they made a special loaf of banana bread just for him every week, just for him to eat. Nobody else was allowed to eat it because that was his banana bread, baked especially for him.

So anyways, they did this once a week from middle school up until every last one of them moved out of the house (and considering there was at least 10 years difference from the oldest to the youngest, this was quite some time). So that’s like… 16 years of weekly banana bread. And he always finished it. He, without fail, ate the whole loaf of bread by himself.

That’s approximately 835 loaves of banana bread.

Now

Skip ahead a few years…

and they’re all visiting and baking banana bread and they start making a dad’s bread and their mom comes in, “I don’t think he can handle eating one more slice of banana bread!”

“What are you talking about? He loves banana bread! He had it all the time!”

This is when my grandma, their mom, broke the news that my grandfather loathed banana bread with every fiber of his being. He just adored that his kids loved him enough to make him a special loaf of banana bread every week (and he didn’t have the heart to tell them that he couldn’t stand banana bread) and he was incredibly, utterly upset that my grandma told the kids his big secret.

My grandfather was a loving, patient, gentle man who absolutely hated banana bread but loved his kids so much more and I just wanted to share that with you guys. I think this story is just about the perfect example of the kind of person he was.

I just told my mom this had 1000 notes on it and let me tell you what

She had two responses.

1. Tell them about the mac n cheese

2. Tell me when it hits a million

mOM.

WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE MAC N CHEESE

I need to know about the mac n cheese

Mac n cheese story

(via keeperofthehens)

operaspaz:

fach-off:

barit0wned:

bigbardafree:

montypla:

bigbardafree:

as someone who used to sing a lot of opera can i tell you if you flub a word in italian and substitute it with different kinds of pasta NOBODY NOTICES

What if you forget an entire song?

NO BUT REALLY

My choir director loved to tell this story where she was in Italy singing in an Italian opera, and totally forgot the words, knowing that a horribly mean critic was watching. She just spewed a bunch of random Italian, and at one point ordered a pizza in Italian. The critic commented on her beautiful diction and connection to the text.

That is the most amazing diction substitution I’ve ever heard.

(via adelindschade)

story time

adventures-in-theatre:

• so during this show
• (cinderella)
• (i was a stepsister)
  
• we made a bet
• it was a bet on me
• but not some wishy washy bet for a sandwhich deal
• this was real life
• this was money
• and the bet was that I could not touch every butt of every person in the show
  
• (every butt)
• i took the challenge immediately 
• (i am not weak)
• but I had to do it all in one show
• and i had
  
• 10 minutes
• (10 minutes of time when i was not onstage)
• so what is a girl to do
• i can not touch every butt backstage
• (every butt)
• i had limited time
  
• i had to get
• creative
• i get the techies first
  
• it took me the whole ten minutes
• (they run fast)
• and I get the extras and some others in the dance sequence
  
• (multitasking)
  
• but here’s the thing
• now I have to get the main actors
• how will she do it?
• you ask
• well
  
• i will tell you
• i’ll tell you how i did it
• it’s called acting
• i touched the butts
• onstage
• (all of the butts)
• i touch the prince’s servant’s butt on my way onstage
  
• (a light tap)
• (too fast for the naked eye to see)
• oh but he felt it
  
• he knew
• he knew i was out for the butts
• (every butt)
• i saw the fear in his eyes
• no
• he mouths to me
• but it is too late
• i’ve gone too far
• i must not stop
• twenty minutes until the end
• i must work fast
• i touch my stepsister’s butt
  
• she is not surprised
• she has bet money on this
• (she knows what i am capable of)
• i touch my stepmother’s butt
• she is standing
• she forgets her line
• (she has lost seven dollars)
• and now things become
  
• difficult
• i am on the floor of the stage
• (for the scene)
• and the prince
• (the next victim)
• (he has bet against me)
  
• he is standing above me
• facing away from me
• butt first
• this is my chance
• it is now or never
• i put a hand on the back of his leg
• he knows
• he is speaking
• his voice cracks
• he smells defeat
• his defeat
• my hand ventures up
• (towards the butt)
• he begins to sing
• i touch the butt
• (every butt)
• i have won
• he stumbles over a word
• he is the loser
• the curtain closes
• i have done it
• all that is left is the wedding scene
• i have touched all the butts
• (every butt)
• i can’t believe you got cinderella’s butt
• one says backstage
  
• my heart stops
• https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOy6hqzfsAs
• i have not gotten the last butt
• (the most precious butt)
• i cannot do it
• i think
• i am in a quick change
• (another girl’s hands are down my pants)
• i cannot do this during the wedding scene
• but i will not lose
• i have come so far
• i stop
• your shoes
• the techie says
• i cannot come back
• it must be done
• i walk
• no
• i run
• to the next room
• cinderella is there
• wearing a tan leotard
• this is it
• i think
• i do not know this girl well
• (she is catholic)
• god forgive me for the sin i am to commit
• i whisper
  
• (i cross my chest)
• the time has come
• a crowd has circled around the room
• they are watching
• waiting
• cinderella does not know
• she has not yet truly been exposed to the world and its horrors
• (she will be)
• i stop
• i am so close
• i do it
  
• both hands are on the butt
• (the most precious butt)
• i have done it
• i’m sorry
• i say
• it had to be done
• don’t stop
  
• she says
• what
  
• i say
• i did not expect this
• a variable has been thrown into the equation
• (the butt equation)
• i like it
• she says
• she looks back at me
• i look at her
• (ten seconds until curtain)
• she does not blink
• (nine seconds)
• i do not know what to do
• (eight seconds)
• my hands are still on the butt
• (seven )
  
• i want to move them but i cannot
• (six)
• i am not wearing shoes
• (five)
• the stage manager busts in
• (saved by the manager)
• the next five seconds are a blur
• my hands are no longer on the butt
• (i don’t know how)
• i am on stage
• i am not wearing shoes
• the theatre teacher is in the audience
• she knows
• she sees
• this is the end
• i think
• it was worth it
• i bow
• i am smiling
• i have won
  

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

catceleste:

my strangest legacy - in high school, for one reason or another (I can’t remember) my friends and I wrote “34 days until March 2nd” on the whiteboard in the drama classroom. It was completely arbitrary but we kept it it up, “30 days until March 2nd”  ”23 days until March 2nd” etc. It spread around enough that the entire school is buzzing about what is going to happen on March 2nd. We figure we should think of something and decide to bring in cake. There were about 13 of us in total committed to bringing a cake. On March 2nd, during 3rd period lunch we all entered the cafeteria in a line (the parade of the cakes) and laid them out—a grand cake buffet for everyone in that lunch period. We did it the next year. And after we graduated it kept going.

This past March 2nd was the 9th year they’ve done it. It’s become a school sponsored event. There are t-shirts for this thing every year. March 2nd is cake day. I am a god. 

(via yea-lets-do-this-shit)

aph-badtouchtrio:

aph-badtouchtrio:

aph-badtouchtrio:

aph-badtouchtrio:

my brother and his ”“friend“” are having an argument over who would top between them if they were gay together

I’m sitting against his door listening to them and my brother says “i think my dick is bigger so i’d top” and his friend says “well i think mines bigger” and now there is silence i think theyre checking

It’s all quiet and my brother goes “bro, you’re fucking hung”

OK I THINK THEYRE FUCKING I’M GONE GOODBYE I DONT WANT TO HEAR THIS

(Source: spicemommy, via adelindschade)

kittenfeathers:

walrusmstr:

kittenfeathers:

Last night I got up at 3 am to feed my cat. So I picked him up, noticed he was purring loudly, and thought in all seriousness:

“Very cat. Much purrs.”

…then realized I may or may not spend too much time on this fucking website. 

As your husband I feel I should inform you that you said that out loud.

OH MY GOD THAT’S EVEN WORSE

(Source: kittenfeathers-blog, via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

nerdgirl134-dftba:

iwantwillgraham:

iwantwillgraham:

so this one time in my high school music class, the room was silent and all of a sudden you hear the Kim Possible ringtone and everyone whipped their heads around trying to figure out who it was

and the most popular guy in school whipped out his fucking phone

with the teacher staring at him

and whispers “what’s the sitch?”

i just want there to be one day where this doesn’t get a note and where my dash can live in peace

today is not that day

Please, God, let it never be that day.

(Source: cchie, via yea-lets-do-this-shit)