Ok, so, a friend of a friend was at some fancy schmancy party in NY, and she was getting majorly creeped on by two older guys- they had her basically cornered and she was getting really uncomfortable. So, she scans the room, and who does she see but motherfucking Aziz Ansari. She…
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Wow
my heart just dropped.. tbh I was expecting something entirely different.
I wasn’t even going to read this at first because it looked long but I’m glad I did
(Source: briandumoulin8, via yea-lets-do-this-shit)
When an American hears the degrees in Celsius
When everyone else hears the degrees in Fahrenheit
#was going to be a nice 80 degrees out#we had a foreign exchange student from…
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The flight attendant just announced “If you don’t like any of my jokes, there are six exits” and told us where the emergency exits are it was actually the best
“for those of you who are traveling with children… WHY”
“if you’re changing to a flight with a different airline, we don’t care.”
he said “okay now get out” once we landed i’m pissing myself
(Source: verboden-toegang, via clockwork-mockingbird)
a friend of mine tried to sell his soul on ebay and the starter price was $10 and people were bidding on it but before anything happened ebay took it down and sent him an email explaining that if he was selling a soul that didn’t actually exist then it was against their policy and if he was selling a real soul then that is a human body part and it is also against their policy
(Source: peachlovelight, via bronzedragon)
So this kid fell asleep during class and he’s still there after school so we decided to play a prank on him
but what happened when he woke up
quick story once my English teacher had a slightly off and very religious borderline radical Christian student that fell asleep during class once, and there was one atheist girl in the class
so when he fell asleep, all the students except the atheist left their backpacks and jackets on their chairs and left the room
and the kid woke up and started to panic, looked over and saw the atheist girl reading a book, still in the classroom
she turned the page, returned his glance, and said “Hey.”
and the kid freaked the fuck out because he sincerely thought he missed the rapture
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there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator
see what intrigues me about college isn’t the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this
Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor, you wouldn’t be counted late. I mean, that’s a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance.
Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning “Look who’s late” face, and walks on inside.
What he didn’t know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like “Fuck it” and SCALED THE BUILDING!
She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom.
He did a double take, started to say “How the hell d—” when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed “STOP DOING THAT!”
(Source: officialstarscream, via thepainofthesass)
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Vodka Tia Moran
