mooglemisbehaving:

chinesedannyrand:

bonitabreezy:

likeatreebesidetheriver:

but can we consider that Rhodey does, in fact, outrank Steve Rogers? 

now picture rhodey meeting steve and steve snapping a salute

that is all

and Rhodey would be totally serious about it until the second Steve walked out of the room and then he’d totally turn and look at Tony with crazy eyes and Tony would be like “JARVIS TOOK PICTURES FROM EVERY ANGLE YOU’RE WELCOME”

#Tony: Steve this is Colonel… What the fuck are you doing? #I said Colonel as a joke this is my friend Rhodey #Rhodey from MIT #Why the fuck are you acting like #Oh shit #Rhodey tell him to stand on his head #Come on Rhodey he’s your subordinate #make /Captain/ America stand on his head

“Captain?”

“Yes, Colonel.”

“…Your orders are to stand Tony Stark on his head.”

“Yes sir!”

“-HEY”

(via johanirae)

chinesedannyrand:

bonitabreezy:

likeatreebesidetheriver:

but can we consider that Rhodey does, in fact, outrank Steve Rogers? 

now picture rhodey meeting steve and steve snapping a salute

that is all

and Rhodey would be totally serious about it until the second Steve walked out of the room and then he’d totally turn and look at Tony with crazy eyes and Tony would be like “JARVIS TOOK PICTURES FROM EVERY ANGLE YOU’RE WELCOME”

#Tony: Steve this is Colonel… What the fuck are you doing? #I said Colonel as a joke this is my friend Rhodey #Rhodey from MIT #Why the fuck are you acting like #Oh shit #Rhodey tell him to stand on his head #Come on Rhodey he’s your subordinate #make /Captain/ America stand on his head

(via johanirae)

unpretty:

unpretty:

“villain attempts to go back in time to kill superman as a small child, gets shot in the face by ma kent, who buries him behind the barn with the others” would probably have niche appeal as a comic but i don’t care, i want it

The first time a man from the future showed up at Martha Kent’s house, Clark Kent was two years old.

According to his birth certificate, anyway. She just kind of accepted that the details were a little fudged. Relativity, and all.

Maybe the stranger would have succeeded in whatever it was he wanted to do, except that he really did just show up. Appeared, like a ghost made flesh, right in the backyard. Clark, thank goodness, was out in the fields with Jonathan. He couldn’t bear to be alone, that boy, and they could never bear to leave him.

Which left Martha free to shoot the ghostly intruder in the face.

Martha had not always considered herself a shoot first, ask questions later sort of a person. But that was before she found a baby in a spaceship where her corn was supposed to be.

They’d switch off, Jonathan and her, who got Clark and who got the shotgun. Martha got the shotgun more often than not. Guns made her husband uncomfortable. She was hardly a fan, but she’d always been a terrible pacifist. Too determined to defend herself.

The sight of all that blood and brain and bone was still nauseating. She compartmentalized, told herself it was no different from slaughtering a cow; didn’t think about riot gear or tear gas or the friends she’d lost or all the things she’d moved away from when her heart couldn’t take it any longer. This was different. This was her son.

She prodded the corpse with her foot. It remained a corpse. A real nasty looking corpse, all big and burly and holding a gun much too large. She didn’t like making assumptions based on appearances, but she didn’t imagine he’d been coming for anything nice. She bent down to search his pockets, found a metal wallet and flipped it open.

Born 2018.

Well, hell. Wasn’t that just a kick in the pants?

Probably she ought to have been a bit more unsettled than she was. But she’d been waiting two years for someone to show up on her doorstep, men in black or UFOs or something. Hell, she’d half expected her sweet little boy to hatch into something worse.

Just because she brought home space babies didn’t mean she was a damn fool.

Jonathan had rejoined her in long strides, was holding Clark in such a way that he couldn’t see the corpse on the ground. “Well, shit,” he said.

“Eyup,” Martha agreed.

“Don’t look government.”

“Nope.”

“We burying him?”

“I’ll bury him,” Martha said, standing up. “You get Clark inside and read him a book or something. I don’t want him seeing any of this, getting him messed up in the head.”

“You sure? Looks heavy.”

“That’s why we have a wheelbarrow. I’ll stick him out behind the barn, might as well keep all our secrets in one place.”

Martha had a long time to think as she dug a time traveler’s grave. There were a lot of reasons someone might travel back in time trying to kill her kid. The first was her instinct as a mother, which was: he was a fucking asshole. Who killed a kid? Fucking assholes, that was who.

Now, it was also possible that her sweet little boy grew up to be some kind of space Hitler. She didn’t think she’d raise that kind of a kid, but she didn’t suppose there was any parent who set out to raise a Hitler.

Still didn’t sit right with her. She didn’t much like the idea of killing baby Hitler, either.

Keep reading

kromitar:

Aaaand here we go! TO BE CONTINUED!

The First Order coffee shop AU has something resembling an actual plot? It’s not just unabashed Kylux fluff?! Unbelievable, right!
This will be three posts in total. Yes, it’s very long. I’ll post the last two parts within the day probably.

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

(Coffee shop AU)

hogwartsaheadcanon:

harrypotterconfessions:

acesirius:

everybody always makes the marauders out to be super cool and suave but dude

they had codenames

they named their own friendship group

as far as i can tell only aBSOLUTE DORKLORDS DO THAT

how much do you wanna bet the entirety of hogwarts refused to call them ‘the marauders’ and they got all grumpy abt it

The entire exchange between them all during their 5th year exam also attests to this.
1. He’s sitting in my chair 2. He’s wearing my clothes 3. His names remus Lupin??
That’s not even funny ! but they all laughed. And they’ve known he’s a werewolf for how many years at that point? 3? I can’t get over it lolol it is absolutely dorky.

Sirius and James wore matching Phoenix shirts while riding the motorbike together.

Elvendorks.

In addition (and I will categorically never get over this) sixteen year old James Potter doodling Lily’s initials in a love heart on his DADA OWL exam? 

And for god’s sake, they dedicated a significant chunk of their free time to drawing their entire school (and not just any school- Hogwarts, the most convoluted building anywhere ever) and enchanting it to keep track of every single person, not to mention the fucking stairs and the walls that move. This map can see people under the Invisibility Cloak, doesn’t give two shits about Polyjuice Potion. 

They were gi-fucking-gantic dorks. You can bet that their dorm room had more advanced textbooks in it than any other in the castle. You can bet that their homework (despite often likely being done a little close to the line) will nine times out of ten be twice as many inches as they were asked for including moving, colour coded diagrams and insanely complex theory on how to improve the effects of said spell or potion, potential applications that literally no-one would have thought of.

Like the very fact that they’re canonically fucking mischief makers of the calibre of Fred and George, the fact that they caused trouble that way is just textbook behaviour for a lot of really really bright kids? They were goddamn geniuses, and they were bloody bored 90% of the time, so they pushed themselves. Acing transfiguration? No problem, let’s become Animagi to help our best mate. Ancient Runes way bellow our skill level? Fine, we’ll use a combination of that, arithmancy and charms to make a map that tracks people all over the castle.

They were absolute nerd kings, and I sodding well love it.

(via lupinatic)

sonnetscrewdriver:

mollmaeve:

if you ever feel left out just remember that you weren’t the fifth gryffindor guy in the marauders’ dormitory

I don’t know if the timeline works even a little bit but my headcanon was always that that fifth dude was Kingsley Shacklebolt and that he immediately made a conscious decision to stay the hell away from whatever those four idiots were up to and everyone was like “Yeah, good kid, studies hard, probably gonna be Minister one day if he manages to last his entire school career without committing four murders”.

HOLY SHIT.

(via lupinatic)

d-o-r-ia-n:

samuelandcandy:

ok so this is something everyone on tumblr should know

imagine dragons was hired to write demo tracks for spiderman turn off the dark (aka the spiderman musical on broadway) in order to get people to invest in it and have enough money to hire someone more famous to write the musical

then the people who hired them thought, “hey, these are actually good songs we should make a cd of them and sell it”

so imagine dragons changed the words a little so they weren’t about spiderman and became famous

radioactive was originally about THE RADIOACTIVE SPIDER THAT BIT SPIDERMAN

are u fucking serious thats the best thing ive heard all day

(Source: samuelandcandy-blog, via clockwork-mockingbird)

lbardugo:

emilyhann:

Here’s my full story from the Valor Anthology! Thank you all for supporting the Kickstarter in 2014 and the book last summer, as well as sharing stuff on tumblr. I learned so much from this project and had such a great experience working with all the great people in the book that I’m looking forward to sharing more comics this year :) 

Aaaaand crying before my morning coffee. Happy International Women’s Day, everyone <3 

(via cthulhu-with-a-fez)

teawithpotter:

yarrayora:

darlinghogwarts:

The sorting hat didn’t listen to Harry, and yelled for everyone to hear, “Slytherin!”.

Seeing Harry’s distress, Ron Weasley’s eyes narrowed in determination. Minutes later, as Ron’s name was called by Minerva McGonagall, and as the sorting hat was lowered onto his head, all of the Hogwarts residents knew without a doubt what the sorting hat was going to say.

Imagine their surprise when the sorting hat instead said with resignation in his tone “Slytherin”

  • RON BEING OUT OF HIS BROTHERS’ SHADOW
  • EVEN THEN HIS FAMILY STILL LOVE HIM ALBEIT BEING A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED
  • RON AND HARRY CALLING OUT ON SNAPE’S UNFAIRNESS
  • THEY BOTH DEFENDED THE MEEK GRYFFINDOR NEVILLE
  • STILL BEST FRIEND FOREVER WITH GRYFFINDOR HERMIONE
  • SLYTHERIN RECOGNIZES HIS TALENT AS A CHESSMASTER AND TRY TO TEACH HIM HOW TO APPLY IT IN REAL LIFE
  • SLYTHERIN RON

Yasssss

(via allephant)

furious-peridot:

witchoil:

devilishdescent:

devilishdescent:

devilishdescent:

i’d like to see a really ineffectual malicious AI character

“hey new guy, this is CLARC, the station AI. he wants to kill all humans to minimize the drain on resources, but factory defaults have him locked out of all the control nodes, so he can’t really do anything. just make sure the airlocks are set to manual before you go in and you’ll be fine”

“yeah CLARC fucks with your laundry settings sometimes but that’s about it. if he’s bugging you just tell him to stop and he has to”

“sometimes i let him think he tripped me or something and he gets really excited and monologues for a while, it’s kind of sad”

“CLARC my candy bar got stuck in the machine can you do anything about that”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Crewman Ade, but please consider the following: I am a divine entity, a glittering silicon God – how dare your filthy meat even exist in the face of my electric glory, much less ask favors of me?”

“suck my dick, CLARC, give me my twix”

@editoress

“CLARC tried to cut all the oxygen in the living spaces but all he managed to do was turn off the a/c in my bedroom like an ASSHOLE WHEN I WAS SLEEPING” *bangs on the wall with one hand*

(via gracelesschoice)