Just Rural Mountain Things

gallusrostromegalus:

gallusrostromegalus:

  • The First Rattlesnake Of Spring
  • Part of your big spring break plans involve going to the costo where you can get all that shit they don’t carry anywhere up here.
  • Being able to ethically source your food AND reduce your grocery bill because FARM CO-OPS ARE AMAZING.
  • Rez Dog is a Real Breed and your Eurocentrism can eat my ass Linda.
  • Wind Chill Factor?   You mean people live in places without constant wind???? that sounds fake but ok?
  • Meeting your flatlander friends at the airport and driving straight into the mountains to the highest point you can to see what altitude they pass out at.
  • Blaming literally EVERYTHING on the Altitude.  “This weather is weird” “It’s the altitude”/”This steak tastes great!” “It’s the altitude”/ “My husband is a lyin’ cheatin’ son of a bitch” “It’s the altitude.”
  • In a similar vein, all precipitation from a light drizzle to six feet of snow is greeted with “we need the Moisture”  
  • The four seasons are Winter, Still Winter, Those Two Nice Weeks In May, Tourist and Fire.
  • Being able to identify animal tracks not because you were in scouts but because you want to know what knocked over the dumpster and spread trash all over the parking lot this week.
  • The Ravens are practically citizens of your town and better customers than most humans.

MORE RURAL MOUNTAIN THINGS:

  • Knowing *exactly* what percentage above or below annual snowpack you’re at and worrying about it either way.
  • Sleeping with the Door Open so you can hear if a bear tries to break into your house again.  
  • they’re a lot quieter than you’d think
  • Three-Dog-Nights are REAL and you’d better have enough canine to go around.
  • Three hour drives for supplies you can’t get in your town are now “adventures”, and you plan to see a movie while you’re out there because the local place can only Pick Two to show and they picked Fifty Shades and one of the outdated Star Treks for some reason.
  • There is  ONE neuropharmacologist within five hours of you, but her schedule is depressingly open because the culture out here prefers shotguns to medication.
  • Watching Flatlanders lose their shit when you tell them the cute lil prairie dogs have Black Plague.
  • Is It Spring Yet? *20 inches of snow* I’m gonna take that as a Maybe.
  • Having your dog eat something off the ground, jamming your hand into his mouth before he swallows it, pulling it out and finding out you’re holding a Live Tarantula.
  • Your housing development backs up on to ranching land, and therefore there are sometimes Cows.  This is fine, but the East Cost Transplants complain about it,  While the West Coast ones try to feed them Quinoa.
  • yelling at the neighbors kids to quit playing in the gully while it’s flooding, dipshits.
  • That one neighbor with the prominently displayed Gun Collection that is meant to be seen from the front yard.
  • The tactile silence, cool and heavy like watermelon, late at night when you get to the edge of the neighborhood and there’s nothing but you, the stars and the dog and for a few minutes, you can see eternity in either direction and you know that one way or another, it’s going to be OK.

(via clockwork-mockingbird)

Tags: I am reblogging this out of nostalgia for my days in MT where there was no grocery store or doctor or movie theater but all these other things although it's those two nice weeks in JUNE where TF do you live that the snow's melted by may I tore a rotator cuff falling down a twenty foot snow mound in may I love epic tales