Anonymous asked: Okay so I'm super into weird, sort of fucked up interpersonal/political(/sexual?) dynamics so NEEDLESS TO SAY a lot of what you've said about Borgias sounds pretty up my alley, but can you give me a rundown before I sit down and burn through three seasons? Also, is it on Netflix, and if no, where can I find it?

wildehacked:

The Borgias is AMAZING, ON NETFLIX, AND FULLY AND 110% MY JAM, but that said it is super niche and I am super niche which is why I love it so. I will attempt to give you the rundown objectively! 

Things the Borgias contains: 
-crazy renaissance political intrigue 
-apparently the marketing slogan for the show was “the original crime family”, which is 100% true. There’s a very heavy mafia family vibe, and it’s not just because they’re Italian. 
-brother/sister incest. Incest between consenting adults, but incest all the same. (Also, to be fair: the incest Vibes start when Lucrezia is still fifteen, although the characters don’t do anything about it until years later.) 
-very graphic violence. Think Game of Thrones and Hannibal? (Although with a few exceptions I think the violence skews more GoT than Hannibal.) 
-multiple graphic rape scenes. They’re not filmed super grossly, in that awful Game of Thrones way, but they’re still graphic rape scenes. 
-non-graphic yet still deeply disturbing medieval torture!  
-three (3) canonically queer characters, one of whom is in a major supporting role
-so much murder
-so. much. murder. 
-queer sex scenes, although you have to wait a while for them 
-sex scenes featuring Cesare Borgia and Lucrezia Borgia, which is AMAZING
-sex scenes featuring Jeremy Irons, which is less amazing, even as I actually really love his lecherous pope 
-for a while, Luke Pasquilano being often shirtless
-Giulia Farnese’s legs, which are Quality Legs
-a badass warrior queen who at one point throws her dress up and threateningly flashes her map of tasmania at her enemies 

I feel like this is more or less the objective rundown? The unobjective rundown goes like this: 

The Borgias contains: 
-MICHELETTO CORELLA, LIGHT OF MY LIFE
-CESARE BORGIA, FIRE OF MY LOINS 
-LUCREZIA BORGIA, MY SIN MY SOUL 
-DECADENT AND LUSH CATHOLIC ICONOGRAPHY (IE PEARL-STUDDED CRUCIFIXES AND BLOOD-RED CARDINAL’S VELVET AND GIMME THEM GOLD COINS GIMME THEM COINS)
-GOOD PEOPLE DOING TERRIBLE THINGS FOR LOVE
-BAD PEOPLE DOING TERRIBLE THINGS FOR LOVE
-GOOD PEOPLE BETRAYING THE PEOPLE THEY LOVE BECAUSE OF THEIR TERRIBLE AMBITION
-BAD PEOPLE BETRAYING THE PEOPLE THEY LOVE BECAUSE OF THEIR TERRIBLE LOYALTY
-EVERYONE BETRAYING GOD AND DESPERATELY WANTING GOD AT THE SAME TIME. THEIR FAITH AND THEIR TERRIBLE LOVE LIVES FOLLOW SIMILAR TRAJECTORIES. 
-LUCREZIA’S SMALL SHARP ODDLY FRIGHTENING PEARLY TEETH
-CESARE CALLING MICHELETTO “MY SWEET ASSASSIN”
-MICHELETTO BENDING OVER A LITERAL RACK AND CALMLY ORDERING CESARE TO BEAT HIM
-CESARE’S OVERWHELMED AND HUNGRY EYES
-LUCREZIA’S SULKY MOUTH AND CHILD’S HANDS AND EQUALLY HUNGRY EYES 
-PEOPLE SO TERRIBLE THAT WHEN THEY ARE GOOD, THEIR GOODNESS SEEMS TRANSCENDANT 
-I HATE, I LOVE, I DON’T KNOW WHY IT HAPPENS, BUT I BURN. 

GODDAMN, I AM SOLD.

Tags: so guess what I'M watching tomorrow and probably for the next While also i am this anon this anon is me but i was too shy to do the thing off anon for some reason i do not mind admitting that i asked a question once it's already answered but it makes me very nervous to ask questions off anon the borgias so...like...there are blogs devoted to this right and i ask because THIS IS MY NICHE THIS RIGHT HERE THIS IS MY SHIT I CAN TELL YOU RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW THAT I AM GOING TO BE EMBARRASSINGLY INTO THIS show rec